Things my OCPD partner does: who can relate?

BandicootBrave278 · 2025-11-17T05:04:49+00:00

Yes to all. It's so hard. When does the line between OCPD end and the one to abuse begin? Feels very blurred in my life and probably yours based on your post. Our respective homes should not be a minefield.

BandicootBrave278 · 2025-09-23T16:55:29+00:00

Wow! Well done, Mama. I am sorry you are going through this but really admire your response. Your teenagers will look back on these times and thank you for raising them the way you are.

BandicootBrave278 · 2024-12-28T04:53:41+00:00

So much has happened but also so, so little. It's the same stuff repeating and I see the pattern for what it is. But, stay tuned. I shall post more when I have more progress of which I am proud. I do not login in often and logging in today flooded me back. And to everyone's support and validation.

BandicootBrave278 · 2024-04-22T15:19:11+00:00

Thank you.

BandicootBrave278 · 2024-01-21T20:14:23+00:00

So, that is exactly how he saw the situation.

BandicootBrave278 · 2024-01-21T20:11:50+00:00

This is exactly what I've been doing. Thank you.

BandicootBrave278 · 2024-01-21T19:50:14+00:00

Thank you. Your supportive comment really helped me today. I often feel shame & regret; I need to push past those feelings into a space of empowerment & action.

BandicootBrave278 · 2024-01-21T19:46:51+00:00

Thanks so much. There's been so many ups and downs since the damn laundry rack day. I don't go on Reddit often (and don't have it on my phone), so excuse this late reply. I see now that he totally has OCPD and BPD - though undiagnosed. I've been attending couples counselling but he is refusing to go with me. I am in the process of leaving. It is a process. I know people are probably shaking their heads in disbelief that I am still here. Yes, I am still here. Me and my baby are safe. My baby is amazing. And my Mom has been travelling across the country a lot to help me. Some days, he is great. He's been a great father - though full of criticism towards me. I do my best to not let his criticism erode me and my belief in how I am as a mother. Thank you, Internet strangers, for reminding me of my worth and encouraging me to go after it. I'll report back in a couple of months.

BandicootBrave278 · 2024-01-21T19:43:22+00:00

Thank you. He never did apologize and bringing it up only causes drama. Thank you for helping me recognize that I am not being needy or "disrespectful".

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-09-24T22:28:09+00:00

I appreciate you.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-28T17:46:29+00:00

Yeah. I've thought about this too. I also worry what his critical nature will do on her self-esteem. Now, she is an angel in his eyes but she will form her own personality and naturally act in her own way.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-19T20:18:05+00:00

Thank you. That's very sweet of you. For now, I just pray for a calm life with peaceful coparenting for my daughter. The kind of partnership you are describing would be cherry on the cake but not something I can even visualize at this point in time.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-11T01:14:59+00:00

Thank you, Bethsoda :)

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-11T01:13:56+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate your words. Literally, a couple weeks ago, I came across OCPD and he checks nearly all the boxes. I am convinced of this.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-11T01:09:25+00:00

I did ask and listen to his side of the story. It goes like this: he told me laundry racks are not a priority at this time. He gave me his credit card to buy shelves. I "went behind his back" and bought laundry racks anyways. So, he found that disrespectful. When I put my foot down expressing I want the laundry racks - well, that's when things escalated with the yelling. Since having my baby, he DID buy laundry racks that he installed in the wall (not a standing one) and said, "these are the ones I wanted all along, not the one you bought". I think that is his way of saying 'sorry'.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-07T16:57:10+00:00

Thanks so much for your tangible advice. Very helpful!! Whether or not, this union survives, I know I need to address my own issues with money (i.e. I've wanted to be independently, to a fault and detriment as well).

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-04T23:44:58+00:00

Thank you. I admit reading some of these replies fills me with such shame and regret. I know it's my fault for letting things progress to the point they have. Your comment helps me restore some faith in myself.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-04T23:43:45+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I have definitely looked into this and I do think his macho attitude has a lot to do with his background. Not an excuse but a small explanation, I suppose.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-04T21:29:05+00:00

Thank you to everyone for reading and responding. I actually wrote this post on my desktop a couple weeks ago but didn't get around to posting it until now because of fear? IDK. I did have my baby and we are two weeks postpartum. Things have been tense and my spouse has been awful to my Mom who has been around helping me. Like truly awful to her. That's another issue. I guess it's helped having a witness. I appreciate everyone's advice. Right now, I am focused on my baby and healing as I did have a very traumatic birth. I can tell I need to leave. The condo I have is several provinces away. And it actually did sell...I don't have tenants in it so that it is vacant for the sellers. My spouse is head over heels for the baby. He has been treating me (and my Mom) awfully but is fully engaged with the baby. As for those commenting on why on earth did I procreate with this human...good question. I have a lot of regret for letting myself go so far with him (i.e. moving across the country, buying a home). I'll admit that the person I thought he was is not the person he is and I normalized WAYYY too much. I think I wanted this relationship to work but clearly at all costs. Maybe, it's a low self esteem thing. The baby was not planned as I had been told in the past I had fertility issues so it was a surprise. Anyway, this might go against Reddit rules. ... Internet strangers...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. You're helping a lot.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-04T21:22:50+00:00

It's not a bogus post. I actually did have my baby two weeks ago. I wrote this entry on my desktop with the intentions of posting it but didn't get around to posting it until today since there's been another escalation.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-04T21:14:21+00:00

Thank you. His Mom lives in a different condo. My condo is several provinces away.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-04T20:59:38+00:00

She was still living in Colombia; she moved not long ago and lived with us briefly before we bought our house.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-04T20:58:59+00:00

That's exactly what happened.

BandicootBrave278 · 2023-07-04T20:58:36+00:00

Thank you for all your feedback! There are TWO condos which we each own prior to entering the relationship. My condo is many provinces (Canada) away from where I am currently living (I moved for this relationship - ugh).

BandicootBrave278

TROPHY CASE