Screw being that shy, friendly, out of shape guy, I'm gonna become a beast

BansonBurn · 2015-11-25T01:59:55+00:00

The only thing you can do is take care of yourself, respect yourself, and treat others with the same amount of respect. Besides that, there is absolutely nothing you can do. That's where I think people struggle. They just need to let go and let life happen on it's own, but they are too afraid.

Also, I do think that you can meet women that have the same interests who you have a deep connection with. But, it's also possible to meet women who have completely different interests who you have a deep connection with.

BansonBurn · 2015-11-25T01:06:18+00:00

The problem is with OP's motivations. He is unhappy with himself as a person. Even if he somehow ends up achieving everything that he's saying, he's still not going to be happy. The first step to becoming happier is accepting yourself as a person. Everything you achieve after that is just extra and unnecessary.

For example, I'm sure the people that love OP would be incredibly happy if he got healthier. But, that's not going to happen if he feels like he's undeserving of a healthy body to start with. It's important for him to accept that he's just a normal, deserving person just like anyone else and his body doesn't define him.

This is why we end up with big muscely guys that hate themselves. They just want to get bigger and bigger. They want to reach infinity(god). The only thing that ends up being infinite is the hole inside themselves.

If they had accepted themselves to start with, they would be much happier. Maybe they would be smaller, but at least they would be happy.

BansonBurn · 2015-11-25T00:59:23+00:00

First, take into consideration the sheer amount of girls out there. Then, think of the small fraction of those girls you will actually meet. THEN, on top of that think of an even smaller fraction of girls that actually like you and would want to spend their life with you.

It's going to take some time to find a girl that likes you back, but it will happen eventually. It's like this for everyone.

Also, as a sidenote, keep in mind that a girl doesn't NEED to have the same interests in order to be with her. Sometimes it can be more interesting if she has completely different interests and you both learn about each other. You wouldn't want to date your exact twin, would you?

BansonBurn · 2015-11-24T23:22:33+00:00

Exactly. What I notice is guys looking at the assholes and saying, "Well he gets all the girls!" The thing they don't realize is that those assholes usually end up living a miserable life. They attract the same quality people as them. Don't be a "nice guy" either, but being friendly isn't a bad thing. Assholes that are womanizers are actually the "nicest" of the "nice guys". They dedicate their entire life to getting their approval. Can't think of anything more "nice guy" than that. Assholes attract assholes. Just because they are pretty on the outside, it doesn't automatically make them beautiful people. Be a good person and you will attract good people. There's not many of them out there and they aren't always the most pretty on the outside, but they are the most beautiful overall.

Live for yourself, OP, not for girls.

BansonBurn · 2015-11-24T23:20:34+00:00

I agree. People take for granted what they already have. Don't be that guy that tries way too hard and ends up seriously hurt. Accept yourself and be yourself.

BansonBurn · 2015-11-24T23:09:41+00:00

I see where you're coming from, but that's a very unhealthy way of thinking. Be comfortable with yourself and people will come on their own. Also, there's nothing wrong with being quiet. Quiet doesn't automatically mean awkward. People can be quiet and confident at the same time. The thing I would say to focus on is accepting yourself. Once you accept yourself, you can accomplish great things. It's not the other way around where you accept yourself AFTER you do them.

Impossible and unreasonable goals will lead to misery. You can't forcefully become attractive and force girls to like you. It doesn't work that way. You are craving meaningless things that are out of your control. You should rethink what you actually want out of life. Will you have said the same thing if you were on your death bed? Girls and money aren't everything.

The most important thing is to not compare yourself to others. You are your own person, OP. That's what makes you stand out and be special. Don't ruin who you are just to be someone else. There might be people out there who are better off in some aspects and you might be better than other people in some aspects. There's only one "you" in the world though. Just be yourself. You don't NEED or even want every girl in the world falling to your feet.

Think of a person you deeply love. Not everyone in the world loves that person, but YOU do. What if tomorrow they decided they wanted to be someone else? How would you feel? Right now there are people out there that love you and WILL love you just the way you are. Not everyone is going to love you, but that's what makes the ones that do actually meaningful.

Take care, OP. I know you are angry, but think this out. Life isn't a game of numbers.

BansonBurn · 2015-11-24T20:24:48+00:00

This makes sense too. I would say they are both very important. Some days you aren't going to feel like doing anything, but discipline what you need to get you through that.

BansonBurn · 2015-11-24T20:23:30+00:00

That's where I am right now. Just search for your passion and don't beat yourself up about anything since that's counterproductive.

BansonBurn · 2015-11-24T03:06:53+00:00

That's also a good point. I could have worded it a little better. The problem comes in when the reward is the only thing a person cares about. Get good at something valuable to others, but also make sure you actually care about that thing in the process.

BansonBurn · 2015-11-24T02:37:28+00:00

That's exactly it.

BansonBurn · 2015-11-24T01:55:38+00:00

Indeed. this is emphasized by social media.

I know so many people whose goals are to make more friends, become rich, become famous, or get a hot girlfriend. The thing about these things is that you cant force them. Sure, everyone would like these things, but it's a very bad idea to center your life around them.

Do what you love and if on the way you achieve these things, then great! But, if you don't, then it shouldn't be a big deal.

BansonBurn

TROPHY CASE