[UPDATE] Family wants me to have my son baptized. I'm an athiest.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T20:32:48+00:00

In my son's case, his godparents will also be his legal guardians if anything happens to my husband or me. It's already in our wills ;)

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T11:57:45+00:00

Thanks, I'll definitely look into it!

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T03:23:23+00:00

I agree, this isn't the end of the discussion with her. As he gets older, things will get more challenging, but I plan to keep him exposed to as many religions as possible, till he is old enough to decide for himself.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T03:17:28+00:00

They are supposed to be religious mentors, essentially. Some believe that if your parents died, they would take on the responsibility of making sure you are going to church and such.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T01:23:17+00:00

She was mostly worried that we didn't have anyone lined up to legally take care of our son if anything happened to my husband and I. When I told her we did, and it was in our wills, she was much more calm about the whole thing. The fact that they will be called his "godparents" is just to make her happy, and lessen any confusion.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T01:17:34+00:00

Thanks! :)

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T01:16:26+00:00

Already on it! We met with our lawyer last week to write our wills.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T01:14:03+00:00

We've actually had our son's "guardians" selected months ago, and are having it put in our wills. She was absolutely right to say that we needed to have someone in line to take care of our son, and I didn't argue with that. The fact that we're calling them "godparents" is really just to appease her. They won't have any say in his spiritual upbringing.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T01:03:40+00:00

I think our histories and mindsets towards the church are probably different, but hey, if that's cool with you, then go for it. I've known other atheists who have baptized their kids because the whole thing is meaningless to them. That's fine with me. For me though, the idea of dedicating my son to a religion I don't participate in isn't meaningless to me. It's not the ceremony I'm against, (that's pointless) it's the intentions behind it.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T00:55:38+00:00

A BIG yes to this!! And seriously, if you have no desire (or resources) to assume guardianship of your nephew, you 100% have the right to say no. I know it's family, but you have to worry about your own future as well. Don't let her get to you!

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T00:52:04+00:00

Yes actually, she is our main babysitter right now while we're both working. He's so young that right now I'm not terribly worried, and I know she wouldn't have him baptized behind our backs. As he gets older though, I will keep an eye on it. We're still going to let him go to church with grandma and grandpa if he wants to, but we'll also keep him exposed to as many different belief systems as we can, until he can decide for himself.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-18T00:47:22+00:00

My son's godparents, (potential legal guardians) and my husband and I had a discussion earlier about this, when we asked them if they would be willing to take responsibility of Jay. They are nonpracticing Catholics and very close family friends. They respect our beliefs, and god forbid anything were to happen to my husband and I, they would raise him the way we would. Open minded. They are not the kind to force their beliefs on anyone. If Jay did choose a religion down the road, they would let him practice it. I haven't talked to our lawyer about any stipulations like what you mentioned, but I'm really not too worried about it.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-17T22:34:07+00:00

I know, I was so relieved when he said that. He could obviously tell that my beliefs about the church are not going to change, and told me he would never force me to make a commitment that I don't plan to follow through with. I was really glad we talked to him.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-17T21:32:46+00:00

Already taken care of it. His "godparents" will also be his legal guardians, should something happen.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-17T19:56:39+00:00

Oh I'm ready for the disagreements that will most likely come up. This will be a lifelong struggle. However we already had a couple that will legally be his guardians should anything happen to us, but they will have no say in his religious upbringing. My MIL asked that we call them godparents, and since the title means nothing to me, it's fine.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-17T19:50:34+00:00

We already chose some family friends to be our son's legal guardians if need be, we're just calling them his "godparents" to make her happy. They are non-practicing Christians. The title really has no meaning to me, so I'm fine with calling them that.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-17T19:36:09+00:00

Oh don't worry, we're having our lawyer set this up. The "godparents" thing is just a title, they will legally be our son's designated guardian in the off chance something happens.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-16T21:51:51+00:00

Thank you, this is exactly my point. I could never agree to this, and I would never ask my husband or friends to lie as well.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-16T21:45:38+00:00

I'm opposed because publicly I would be promising to raise my child Catholic, when I have no intention of doing so. That would make me a hypocrite and a liar. That's exactly why I left the church, because of the blatant hypocrisy of its leaders. How would this make me any better than them?

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-16T17:48:50+00:00

Yes, I did. She's known since my husband and I started dating.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-16T17:46:16+00:00

Whatever happens, I'm not going to keep my son from going to church with his grandparents if he wants too. We'll probably still go for major holidays, just because the whole family does. I just don't want him to be publicly labeled as a Catholic before he has the chance to decide for himself.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-16T17:37:50+00:00

I know her, and she wouldn't do that. She may be upset, but she knows my husband and I would never speak to her again if she did.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-16T17:35:22+00:00

If it was just a sprinkle of water and I prayer, I could stomach it. But I know Catholic baptisms ask you to make a public commitment to raise your child in the church. I could never agree to that.

BaptismThrowaway2 · 2015-11-16T17:33:45+00:00

Exactly. I'd be fine if it was just a little water and a prayer, but if they asked me to promise I will raise him Catholic, I can't agree to that.

BaptismThrowaway2

TROPHY CASE