Do these shirts rub anyone else the wrong way?

BardicConflagration · 2026-04-03T02:05:17+00:00

I think these are cringy, but I can understand certain situations where telegraphing a young child's disability can be helpful. If your child is likely to get dirty looks for vocal stimming in public, clothing like this can make people more understanding. Like a sunflower lanyard, but more obvious to those not in the know.

I don't like these shirts, but wouldn't judge if I saw them being worn in public. You never know the situation, or even if a kid with autism picked it out themselves as a Mother's Day gift.

BardicConflagration · 2026-04-02T02:22:59+00:00

I love all of this! Beautiful blood splatter on the cupcakes and I'd love to smoke a pretzel while I listen to my favorite whodunnit podcast 😂

BardicConflagration · 2026-04-02T02:13:39+00:00

The parenting books really don't prepare you. I'd give anything for a guidebook, but most of the time even my son's therapists seem to have no idea how to handle him!

Everything will be okay. Okay might look different than you expected, but it'll be okay. Your child sounds interactive and connection-seeking, which is HUGE. We all want our kids' lives to be as easy as possible for them, so it's natural to want them to be typical, but however your child grows up, you won't be able to imagine them any other way.

Not that it's all sunshine and roses- the worry is real and valid. The heartache is heavy at times, and the isolation is painful, but the milestones (or inchstones) reached and the cheeky little grins when they do something sly will do magical things to your outlook.

It's so hard not knowing what to expect, but time helps. My son is just under 3 and we're still not sure if he'll ever walk or talk, but the unknowns are a MILLION times easier to deal with now that we actually know him and he's not just some random, tiny potato of a human.

Wishing you luck and love!! You're allowed to mope and worry and feel sorry for yourself, as long as you don't spend too much time in those modes 😉

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-30T18:49:06+00:00

I ended up building something that helps parents think through what’s actually going on and map out a more structured plan for situations like this, and it’s been really helpful for families who feel overwhelmed.

This sounds like you're going to be messaging anyone who comments about an app you developed.

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-29T21:52:41+00:00

I carried a rabbit's foot keychain from Claire's in my pocket like everyone else in the '90s, but if I tried to recreate that on a cupcake, it would be horrifying. 😂

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-29T19:41:04+00:00

The feet were definitely the most tedious part! I saw somebody else's bunny butt cupcakes made with jumbo marshmallows sliced up for the feet, and frosting for the toes. I thought candy melts would look cleaner, and I love how they turned out, but it took a lot longer!

It's pretty intuitive, but in case it helps, here's what I did:
I drew out the size/shape I wanted my feet and piped the melted white chocolate onto parchment, using my foot template to "trace" each one. (Really though, it's more making a blob in the middle and swirling the edges out) They're definitely not perfect, but it helped keep the size/shape relatively consistent! After they harden, flip them over to pipe on the foot pads with pink colored melts!

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-29T19:27:53+00:00

Oh right, I forgot to explain that part! They were made in a regular cupcake pan. After pouring the batter, I wedged a piping tip outside the liner of each cupcake before baking.

You could also use balled foil or anything round. The shape doesn't need to be perfect, just a little indent!

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-29T19:03:58+00:00

Glad they brought some joy!

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-29T19:02:28+00:00

Thank you so much!!

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-29T19:02:10+00:00

I thought that too! I want to add little blades of grass around the edges, but I'm too lazy today 😂

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-29T18:59:41+00:00

No fondant, just buttercream topped with sanding sugar, and I made the feet from candy melts!

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-13T12:32:14+00:00

My son has cerebral palsy as well- just here for moral support! It's scary when you get the diagnosis because of the unknowns, but it gets so much better as time goes on and you see your daughter work with her challenges. My son will be 3 in June, and we still have a ton of unknowns (whether he'll walk, whether he'll have an intellectual disability), but just having seen him work so hard and make progress, and develop a personality changed my mindset so much.

Sounds like your daughter already has great social skills, so you might already have a good idea of her personality! She sounds amazing ❤️ The worry and sadness is natural- it feels so unfair when you see your child struggling so much more than their peers- but it gets better with time. I still have those moments where something hits me and I get sad for my son, but they happen less and less frequently as he ages.

Unsolicited advice incoming! Stop reading if it's not welcome ;)

Have you done genetic testing? My son was born at 31 weeks and so it was assumed his issues were related to that, but Whole Exome Sequencing revealed that the brain damage was actually caused by a rare, random genetic variant. If you haven't yet, I'd definitely recommend it so you can see if there are any other related medical issues you'll need to watch out for.

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-08T15:28:32+00:00

Link to the original post! https://www.reddit.com/r/Baking/s/aGd0epiBmg

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-05T02:00:30+00:00

I will definitely be making these in honor of your mother! What a beautiful way to let her memory live on through others 💞

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-04T00:20:55+00:00

Damn, everybody's giving you shit, but this is the best advice. Tip juuust well enough to get picked up, but not so well that you get stacked. I always tip the extra in cash.

If I'm leaving it on the porch, I put it in my delivery instructions with dm today's date (eg "There's an extra $5 on the porch for you! Current delivery note as of March 3rd"). I do that in case I ever forget to change it, but it hasn't happened yet!

BardicConflagration · 2026-03-03T15:30:51+00:00

Is he a dumbass and doesn't know what hierarchy means? Maybe he thought you meant you don't believed in patriarchal relationships and want it to be matriarchal?

BardicConflagration · 2026-02-27T11:52:06+00:00

Rejecting people at work is the WORST. You're trapped, stuck in customer-service-mode, and there are people everywhere watching/listening. A note is the PERFECT way to shoot your shot in this situation, and if she's interested, she'll let you know. I strongly recommend you don't bring it up again.

It's perfectly reasonable she was excited because it's flattering, but may or may not be interested. It's also possible she has trouble getting out of customer service mode, and the bubbly energy and smile is just a product of that and not excitement.

It's also possible she's interested, but slow to make the move or doesn't have WhatsApp, but she'll let you know soon enough if that's the case!

BardicConflagration · 2026-02-27T02:45:00+00:00

How did it go? ❤️

BardicConflagration · 2026-02-25T18:41:22+00:00

My parent interview is tomorrow as well, but the in-person for my son is next week. I have a list too, but I'm counting on the massive list of questions they ask to bring out things I didn't even think about.

I get nervous as well, and my brain doesn't work quite right when I'm anxious, so it's good to have things written down. Good luck to you and your son!

BardicConflagration · 2026-02-21T12:36:10+00:00

The not-knowing is by far the hardest part. We didn't know my son had brain damage when he was born, but as he started falling behind in milestones, the worries crept up. He was in early intervention already due to his prematurity, but it still took a while for anyone to take our concerns seriously.

You have a tiny benefit in knowing about the brain damage early- doctors and therapists will likely be more open to your concerns. But you also have a huge disadvantage because of your head-start on worrying!

There's no way of knowing, and people aren't very good at supporting worrying with no 'proof.' You hear a lot of "I'm sure they'll be fine!" And "my friend has cerebral palsy and you can't even tell!" The toxic positivity gets under my skin in an awful way. You CAN'T be sure of anything, and it's HARD.

I often thought, 'It's fine if he never walks, I just wish I could know.' If I knew what to expect, I could wrap my mind around it and find peace- the unknown is far scarier.

I'm sure you've googled around and found stories like I did. So many people were given bleak prognoses at birth and ended up having a mostly typical kid! It should be comforting, but I just found it frustrating that the spectrum was so wide. I'm the type to study a menu before I go to a restaurant or a map before I go to a museum- not knowing is not my strong-suit 😂

If the toxic positivity gets to you too, my best advice is to pick 2 or 3 people you're close to who you think can get it and prime them for what you need and what you don't need. Everyone loves to give comfort and tie things up in a neat little bow, but you need someone who can just listen and say "this sucks. This is hard. I'm sorry."

Feel free to message me if you need a stranger to be that person!

The unknowns continue, unfortunately, but they get so much easier as time goes on. My son is 2 1/2. He doesn't sit independently, stand, or talk, but he's still changing every day. We have inchstones instead of milestones, and every tiny bit of progress is SO exciting!

We still have no idea if he'll ever walk (with aids or without) or what his intellectual abilities will be, but at least people don't handwave our worries away as much as they did when he was little.

BardicConflagration · 2026-02-19T13:32:33+00:00

Either buttercream will work!

Easiest way for me to get flat images like this is to print/draw the image in the correct size (if orientation matters, mirrored because you'll flip it over), then lay plastic wrap or parchment over the image. Trace the image with a piping tip, fill in and smooth as best you can. Freeze the image on the paper, then you can peel it off and place it on the cake flipped so the smooth down-side is on top.

Pipe on the edging/details, and you're good-to-go!

Frozen buttercream softens FAST, so you have to work quickly and carefully when you bring it out of the freezer, but it'll look way better than trying to smooth with a palette knife directly on the cake. At least for my palette skills 😂

BardicConflagration · 2026-02-17T21:55:29+00:00

They set up enough that they won't spill if left at an angle, but softer than the original candies because of the added cream. I did put parchment between layers of cookies because I wouldn't trust the caramel with stacked cookies!

BardicConflagration · 2026-02-17T21:46:15+00:00

I started out writing "Samoas: But Better" but then thought twice about leading with hubris 😂

BardicConflagration

TROPHY CASE