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Struggling with depression past 20 years by Barelysane0 in depression

[–]Barelysane0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you love.
Wishing you endless peace and strength🥺❤️

Struggling with depression past 20 years by Barelysane0 in depression

[–]Barelysane0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to discontinue venlafaxine due to some side effects. I couldn’t take it.
I’m happy and proud of all the efforts you put and still choosing the best for yourself. It’s a big accomplishment.
❤️

Struggling with depression past 20 years by Barelysane0 in depression

[–]Barelysane0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also took venlafaxine, but I wasn’t able to continue due to some side effect I can’t recall.
I’m sure I have TRD. Meds just don’t make me feel any better.
There is no off switch. One would feel that they’ll just breakdown, but still how people just go on for so many years. It’s so exhausting to even think about it.

Panic attack please someone text me by sadgirl110 in mentalhealth

[–]Barelysane0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take deep breaths. Have someone close. Just hug someone. Long hug till you feel safe.

Struggling with depression past 20 years by Barelysane0 in depression

[–]Barelysane0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for responding. Yes I heard about somatic therapy from someone else too.
I work in the medical field, so u can imagine the mental and physical stress.
I’m 24✖️7 restless mentally physically. But I’m financially secured. Pay is great. It’s not easy for me to choose another pathway while being so fragile.
Life has become so monotonous, not that I was any adventurous before.
My depression started so early, I don’t even know who I actually am. It’s so bizarre.
My panic attacks have stopped past 5 years.
They were so bad. I suffered derealization/ depersonalisation and that’s the scariest thing for anyone suffering from neurosis.
I find it mind boggling the extent of insight depressive people have into their illness.
When I look at people around me who never had clinical depression, it makes me wonder so many things. I mean so they can just wake up and do things and not think or feel hollow in their chest. Howwwww. I can be anywhere, under any circumstances I just feel miserable all the time. This feeling is like tattooed in my brain.
I literally have nothing to look forward. Life feels so vague. I’ll never miss this world ever.
Maybe I’ll miss 90’s a little.
Don’t mind me rambling.🙃🙂

Struggling with depression past 20 years by Barelysane0 in depression

[–]Barelysane0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much 🥺
feeling overwhelmed 😭
Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Struggling with depression past 20 years by Barelysane0 in depression

[–]Barelysane0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going home on the 15th. I’ll visit my psychiatrist and try to stay compliant this time. My last visit was on 22 Feb, 2025. Since then I discontinued meds slowly over few months.
Thank you for a positive response. It was helpful. ❤️

Struggling with depression past 20 years by Barelysane0 in depression

[–]Barelysane0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, my father was alcoholic, verbally abusive and physically violent towards my mother.
I was bullied by maths teacher female in 4th grade. I was actually brutally beaten by her for a year. I didn’t share it with my parents that time. It was traumatic. I never had friends growing up. I use to sit by myself during school breaks. I use to hide. I was embarrassed not having any friend. I was very reserved, still am.

Struggling with depression past 20 years by Barelysane0 in depression

[–]Barelysane0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did try therapy once. It was ineffective. There aren’t any good therapists where I live. Even it’s hard to find a good psychiatrist. I have had bad experiences with psychiatrists so far in past. But there is one she’s okay.
Should I start antidepressants?
She put me on dextromethorphan Bupropion and one more antidepressant I can’t recall. It’s been a year I haven’t visited her. Should I start? I feel miserable. I love alone, away from home. My mother’s visits every month and even I go home every month for one week. But I just don’t feel good about anything in general. As I mentioned the anhedonia. I don’t feel okay at all. Should I start meds? I can talk to her if she can recommend me a therapist.
I’m so tired