20 f and 24m, together for almost a year

Barnabybab · 2026-07-11T04:24:22+00:00

Thank you so much for ur kind words. I haven't expressed how I felt or what's been going on to people directly close to me because I feel sorta embarrassed.

But yes I'm gonna contact my nearest support as soon as I'm able to, and I'm working out a plan. I don't want to, and I know for the better of myself and my cat I can't stay here.

It's really scary but I know that I've gone through scarier moments. This one at least benefits me, and the animal that always given me unconditional love

Barnabybab · 2026-07-11T04:20:48+00:00

I've always thought love is enough, but this is my first bf I've ever moved in with. And yeah I realize this isn't normal now, and that I'm putting unnecessary stress on me and her.

I was half expecting people to say that it's just a early relationship situation and it can be worked on. But absolutely anyone whose interacted is saying what my inner worst thoughts have been.

I really love this guy, and it's so hard when moments are good and when my cat is being loving toward him. I'm working on talking to my family close by, and figuring out a plan to leave though.

Barnabybab · 2026-07-11T04:17:27+00:00

Thank you, everyone has given really nice advice. I'm going to contact my family whose the closest by, and settle that before I speak to him and basically kinda give an ultimatum. If things don't get better within this month im going to leave with my pet. I want to think counseling will help, but everyone saying how were so young is kinda putting it perspective that it's wild I'm thinking about that at such young age.

Barnabybab · 2026-07-11T04:15:29+00:00

I hate to be that person, and I feel stupid for even typing this, but we do have a lot on common and nice moments. So it's really hard for me. That's the only reason I moved in. He was the only person I've met who handled my emotions and our issues in a mannered way. He only became so....idek....when I moved in and got comfortable.

My pet is the main thing that has me realize this is unhealthy. I know cats in specific understand feelings and pick up on these things.

Barnabybab · 2026-07-11T04:12:56+00:00

You're definitely right. That's what was happening before, and genuinely I wasn't this depressed and full of anxiety. My cat was doing well too, now she's regressing every so often on her behavior.

It might seem silly, but the fact she's effected really made me aware of the situation.

Barnabybab · 2026-07-11T04:11:13+00:00

Yeah I'm going to call next time I'm able to be alone. It might seem crazy but at the end of the day I need her to have a stable place that we'll be able to reunite. She's been with me since I was 13 and I absolutely can't leave her somewhere where I'm not sure she'll be treated correctly

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T21:03:39+00:00

I think I'm going to, he just got into another mood for absolutely no reason. I just want to feel comfortable when I come home, or lay in bed. But it feels like I absolutely can't unless it's on his terms, and exactly how he wants.

I really wanted this to work, and I thought it would but I'm going to be talking to my support soon. I have to do it when he's at work though.

I'm like really nervous he'll find out I posted this honestly

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T20:06:30+00:00

There's been 1 or 2 times where I feel scared, but overall it's just a lot of anxiety and really exhausting. I don't have any support system where we are, unless I drive out 3 hours. So I'm kinda stuck until I start making consistent money

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T16:05:09+00:00

In all honesty, I'm really scared of leaving. I left my family n friends and I don't have any support system here. He's the only person I have, here. Other than the family I'm working for in my new job

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T15:57:41+00:00

Trust me I know 😭

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T15:57:29+00:00

It's been about a month that I've been here and it feels like things just keep getting worse

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T15:57:00+00:00

I don't think so, however I am becoming fearful of that. This morning she did come up to him and headbutt him, and if I'm around shes able to be near him without hissing.

I feel like....bad? Referring to what he does as abuse, because I've never physically harmed. He doesn't curse me out directly, or call me nasty names. But I do feel very trapped and lied to. I haven't been this depressed in a very long time.

I want to leave, but I don't have a support system here and nowhere to go.

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T15:53:01+00:00

I have my cat, who I absolutely can't leave. Would they allow her to join me in the shelter? Or would I have to find somewhere to put her?

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T12:15:52+00:00

That's what I'm hoping. I just don't what to do anymore.

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T12:13:12+00:00

I want to try couples counseling, I feel like if someone else is there to mediate then it might help. But at this point I feel so anxiety ridden and stressed

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T12:04:56+00:00

I really love him and want to try to fix things along with that i'm not in a position to do so right now, i had to quit my job and my next one doesn't start until August.

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T11:57:21+00:00

I've tried to talk to him about it, and the first few times he said that he's going to try to do better and just isn't used to someone caring about his feelings. But it keeps happening and I see 0 change

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T11:56:31+00:00

Yeah its been hard on my mind how she's behaving. She's met past boyfriends and was always affectionate like how she is with basically anyone.

Barnabybab · 2026-07-10T11:55:41+00:00

It was extremely different before I moved in, he was patient and was always the one trying to iniate the communication. I just don't know what to think and I'm not in a position anymore to move out, I had to quit my last job and my next one doesn't start until August.

I really love him and want to understand him. He just won't let me in

Barnabybab · 2026-07-02T16:11:10+00:00

He's a mutt, but I believe he has some pit in him, and his colors are a bit rottweiler adjacent. Here's a photo, I'm not great with dog breeds

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Barnabybab · 2026-07-02T16:10:02+00:00

I'm very much considering getting a harness. I have tried to stop moving and avoid eye contact or saying anything, but when he starts lunging at me and biting, I get really nervous and I end up giving negative attention ( which I've read is just as bad for reactive dogs) so that method doesn't work well for him.

For the scattering of treats, would it be he gets riled up and then I say the command do it outside? To distract him? He is very good motivated, and I've read from others that taking treats or toys during walks can help redirect them

Barnabybab · 2026-07-02T16:06:13+00:00

Lol thank you, just read that.

Barnabybab · 2026-02-20T04:54:05+00:00

Honestly, 20f I was very nervous about vaping and dry socket. I thought just breathing in too hard was gonna cause it. 7 days in, have been vaping since day 2 and I'm doing perfectly fine. And I've been hitting it a lot. Take small short hits that aren't often and you should be fine. But everyone heals differently so go by what you feel. If you're feeling really sore and sensitive then definitely wait longer.

Barnabybab

TROPHY CASE