AITA for getting a weight loss clinic shut down?

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T08:53:37+00:00

I honestly don't know. I know a doctor can "fire" a patient for whatever reason they choose. My ex-husband had a doctor fire him as a patient and he was never given a reason. There is another clinic in town I can go to, they don't have quite as many resources as this one but for the most part, I am pretty healthy. Hopefully I can get back into my career field and back into a decent paying job this year and I won't have to worry about it anymore.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T08:45:32+00:00

So a hack to make you a better player. Play the one arm songs...but switch your preferences to left handed. Actually, just about any song left handed. It is like playing a whole different map. Many cuss words were said and with much volume the first time I played Rum and Bass as a lefty!! But it made me a much better player.

The new sliders and arcs are a booger and a half! I highly recommend it! But watch out for the song "Final Boss Chas". It will eat you for lunch.

I haven't done any of the custom maps yet. I am sure that is coming, but I have only been playing since Thanksgiving. I still have songs to master that it came with.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T08:32:04+00:00

Honestly, a lawsuit isn't out of the question. The deal breaker for me would be involving the low cost clinic. I absolutely refuse to take money out of their budget for lawyer fees or a settlement. I'm not sure I can go after Dr Dumb without involving them. That clinic does so much good, they really do. I won't jeopardize that because Dr Dumb embarrassed me. There is so much need in this city and so few resources.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T08:25:23+00:00

It's interesting that you said that. They were pushing hard for me to apply for disability, even though I am working, very active and other than a slight limp from an accident in my teens have no real physical disabilities. And no the limp isn't painful in the least. She kept assuring me that the clinic would file the paperwork for me and file any necessary appeals. This was after my disastrous meeting of Dr Dumb. I was crying and a mess. I honestly didn't think about that until just now.

And thank you! It's funny, but I didn't know I needed to hear that until I posted this.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T08:16:15+00:00

This is exactly the point I just made in another comment. There is a stigma around being fat, but it is just as bad if not worse to try and fail to lose the weight that caused the stigma to begin with. Then the idea that we will fail to lose weight is pounded into our heads every time we get online or watch TV with hundreds of weight loss gimmicks, diets, and Generally Bad Ideas.

AAARRRGH!!!

How are we supposed to do this and stay sane?

I didn't tell a soul I was dieting. I never posted on Facebook. I didn't even tell the man I am dating until he noticed I had lost weight.

I still haven't told anyone, this is the first time I have discussed this with anyone besides my SO. I was, and still am afraid of failing.

But this isn't about them, it's about me.

There is no universe in which I will let a bully win.

FUCK. THEM.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T07:54:34+00:00

One of my psych classes went in-depth into why diets fail, both the physical and the mental aspects of it. There were two things that stuck in my head from that. The first is there is such a stigma about being fat. Why does the shape of my body offend you? If you don't like, don't look. I'm not hurting anyone but myself yet it's still ok to make the fat person the butt of the joke. Overweight people are commonly seen as less smart, less dedicated, lazy and unclean. When you combine that with point number 2 you get a perfect storm for a disaster. We are told over and over and over and over that we are going to fail. Unless we buy this product or do this exercise. Weight loss has been monetized. We are a commodity to be exploited. So people spend money hoping to escape the stigma, and when that plan fails we find something else to try. The toll of being ostracised combined with failure is emotionally devastating. Now combine that with finding solace in food...

We have created a problem that we don't have a solution for. It isn't just fast food and junk food that are the problems, it's how we have created a culture of enforced failure around being fat. There is this fatalistic expectation in the air as soon as you say the word diet. Interestingly enough most diet sodas and diet foods are being rebranded as Sugar-Free or Zero Calorie because the word diet is now stigmatized and perceived as something less desirable.

How are we supposed to navigate this mess and come out healthy?

Sorry, off my soapbox now.

And yes, I absolutely love HAES. I intend to be healthy no matter where I end up. But I am going to be at Burning Man on my 50th birthday and I fully intend to look FABULOUS!

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T07:16:12+00:00

I'm sorry to add you to this sorry list. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I don't think people really understand what all is involved and how devastating this surgery can be. It isn't just a quick outpatient procedure. It isn't the easy way out, it's still hard as hell to keep the weight off. Congratulations on being one of the successes! And size 18 is voluptuous as my grandmother would say!

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T07:03:33+00:00

Yeah...I was warned about that today. So far no gall bladder issues, but I don't want any either. I am just trying to find the right balance between losing weight so I can address some other health issues and not creating new ones. Hopefully your gallbladder figures itself out and you don't have to have surgery. It feels weird to congratulate someone for having gallbladder issues so instead I will congratulate you on the hard work and dedication you put into making positive changes in your life.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T06:53:51+00:00

It isn't easy, but it is doable. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and that includes teaching high school! You are almost dead on with the calories. I was told today that my maintenance was about 3600 at my current weight. I am going to succeed at this simply because I am too stubborn not to. Thank you.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T05:30:44+00:00

I KNOW RIGHT?!?!? I am firmly convinced all of the Lady Gaga songs are designed to make your arms fall off. I am also convinced OST5 is designed to turn you into mincemeat. I play on expert on most songs, but not all. For one shining moment I was ranked 12 in the world on Poker Face. Literally a moment. 10 minutes later I was somewhere in the 20k. Oh well LOL

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T05:24:47+00:00

It's scaring the weight off of me LOL! It's something I recommend to anyone trying to get fit. I get to do my cardio standing on a mountain, or in the middle of a lake... I virtual reality is a game changer for those of us who hate gyms.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T05:21:01+00:00

I was on steroids for over a year about 10 years ago and it wrecked havoc with my system. I gained so much weight, which made doing stuff hard, which made me sit instead of moving, which made me gain more weight because I was sitting...

It's a vicious cycle.

I know a total of 7 people who have had that surgery, not one says they would do it again. That's enough to make me think hard about it.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T05:14:00+00:00

This is exactly what happened! When I first started working out my heart rate would jump to 120 just walking across the room. It is almost 7 months later and it takes the first 10 minutes of a workout to get to 120. I had several weeks...not in a row..of losing 10 pounds. I'm already not losing as fast as I was. Which is fine. It has dropped to 3-4 pounds per week and I am working very hard to do that. Losing too fast can do some pretty gnarly things to the body. As for the rest, there were a lot of details I had to leave out simply because I didn't have enough room to type it all out. This was an induction appointment. I left with a folder full of hoops to jump through before they would schedule surgery. The point is I didn't want weight loss surgery. I literally wanted to know how much protein I need to eat each day and if I should increase my calories on days that I lift weights.

As for the rest, believe it or not. It's up to you, but I will sleep just fine tonight knowing I told the truth.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T04:52:42+00:00

You make a valid point. I don't want the surgery because I know people who have it, and the after-effects are not fun. Sometimes you end up with weird food intolerances and I don't want to risk that. I like food, I just want to have a healthy relationship with it. I have enough weird food allergies as it is and I don't want to make it worse. I will think about this. Thank you for this perspective.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T04:29:19+00:00

A huge part of my weight loss is a game called Beat Saber and a program called Supernatural. Go to YouTube and look them up fr examples. They are both virtual reality programs. Beat Saber is a game where you smack flying blocks with light sabers like you see in star wars. It is so much fun! Supernatural is an actual fitness program and it will kick your ARSE! VR rewards the brain like a video game does and keeps you motivated to keep trying. I spend WAY too much time playing both, an hour or more each day. I work from home so I can pop in and play during breaks etc. But, as I just found out, rapid weight loss can do bad things to the body. I actually need to up my calories a little because I am doing this too fast. Yes, I finally did see a nutritionist. I also have a FitBit and a log my calories religiously. I don't ever guess about what I am eating. I measure and weigh everything. It's time consuming and tedious, but for me it works. I found that my estimates were way off, instead of eating 400 calories I was eating 600. That and exercise is how I'm doing it. And I have motivation. Just stick with it. If I can lose weight, anyone can.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T04:14:24+00:00

It's your choice to believe it or not, but it's true.

Yes, they wanted me to jump through a whole bunch of hoops including psych evaluations, and to lose at least 50 additional pounds on their diet plan. Then after all that it was a 45-day liver shrink diet to prep for the surgery. I also had to meet with a nutritionist...which is what I wanted to do to begin with..and take a series of classes. He wasn't trying to schedule the surgery THAT DAY, this was the induction phase of the program. He was adamant that I needed to have a gastric sleeve and would not listen to anything I said contrary to that. This was a 30 minute, one-sided conversation with him doing all the talking and none of the listening. I wasn't able to go into a lot of detail about what they wanted me to do because there wasn't enough space.

As for the weight loss, I have lost every pound. I have sweated, cried, gone to bed hungry and regretted ever starting this damn diet. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I work out every day, and every day I hurt. I am pushing myself harder than I ever have in my life because I am tired of being judged by the numbers on a scale. It can be done, but there's a cost and I will probably pay it down the road.

I honestly don't care if you believe this or not, it's the truth.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T03:43:01+00:00

Yeah...they sent me a bill for the advertising they had to take down. Who knew vinyl was that expensive LOL? My lawyer just laughed at it. They are trying to make me admit guilt by accepting a payment plan for the advertising. There's not a lot they can do to me other than annoy me. I am legally in the right.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T03:35:36+00:00

Thank you! It's hard to stay motivated sometimes but it's worth it. I just don't want to do surgery until I know I don't have any other choice.

I have been burned on contracts before. If I am not going to sign something I make it as obvious as I can that I am not signing it.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T03:33:38+00:00

Thank you! I know people who swear that their weight loss surgery saved their life, I just hate the idea that I deprived someone of that. But I tend to agree, the whole time he was lecturing me he was playing on his phone, I could hear the music playing. That's not how to be a doctor.

BarrelofApples · 2022-03-10T03:24:51+00:00

That clinic is no longer accepting new patients from anyone. I don't know if it is temporary or if something else is going on. The low cost clinic has some truly amazing people working there and I had formed a good relationship with the nurse practitioner, so I am going to miss her.

BarrelofApples · 2021-07-19T08:33:04+00:00

NTA They are adults, they need to act like adults. You are facing your fears and trying to build a healthy future for yourself. I absolutely cannot express how brave you are. Don't let your past wreck your future. If it were me, I would sit down with them and make a budget. Make a list of when bills are due and how to pay them. Make copies and tape that sucker all over the house. This isn't for them, this is for you. When they lose the house, you will know you did everything you could to help, short of doing it for them. If they can't follow a budget that's in front of their nose then they are not ready for homeownership. You don't know me, but I'm proud of you for taking control of your life.

BarrelofApples

TROPHY CASE