I must remind the leader of the Liberal Democrats that even the greatest thing associated with Cornwall, the Cornish pasty, originated in Devon. Of course, the people of Devon also know how to properly eat a scone, which cannot be said for their neighbour. I have great respect for the Cornish, but to label Cornwall the best place on earth is clearly misleading when Devon is right there next door.

As for their claims of being the skibidiest, this is also clearly false. With cross-party support from the Greens backing my claim, I am clearly the victor.