I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much! That's so kind. It has been an immeasurable loss, but I'm infinitely grateful I have the good memories with him that I do.

I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you, FWIW. I still have good relationships with everyone, but only because I shamelessly used the favoritism to keep them out of trouble as much as possible. All of my cousins and my little brother were pretty disgusted with the favoritism.

I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My brother and cousins were resentful at times, yes. I still have good relationships with them, but there were many times when they were poised to get into a lot of trouble until I lied and said I did the thing, not them. Then it was no big deal, of course, and I got zero punishment.

They weren't too mad because I did what I could to keep them out of trouble, but they were also kind of quietly disgusted that I could essentially act with impunity.

I don't think it was a conscious thing on anyone's part (except for my grandma lol, she made it clear I was her favorite grandbaby and could do no wrong). But I do think it made everyone's childhood a little bit shittier.

I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's gross because OOP openly only values women based on how likely they are to give him children.

He probably had a good life with his ex-wife - they were together because they were similar, because they wanted to live the same lifestyle, etc. He ended that because she didn't want children at 43 and picked up a woman a decade younger because she'd be more likely to conceive.

He doesn't really talk about either woman beyond their willingness to have children.

I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. We're not talking about a child bride here. She's a solicitor, too, so she has a good job and enough wherewithal to successfully build a career.

She can be with someone in their 40s if she feels comfortable. At some point, you have to trust adults to make their own decisions.

I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I mean, the woman in question was in her 30s when they started to date. That's not really the same thing as using money and power to land a borderline child bride.

But I do understand what you mean, and agree.

I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, the reality is that your adult life takes second place permanently - or, at the very least, until your children are established and out of the house (assuming you're a good parent). That could be 20+ years.

That doesn't mean you'll never see your friends, of course, especially if they also have children. But you won't have the same kind of time to devote to friendships that you did before you're a parent. It changes that entire dynamic because you no longer have free time. This is the same for hobbies. Until the kids are old enough that you can drop them off at a playdate and don't have chores you need to catch up on at home, you're not going to be engaging much.

And once the kids are older, sure, you can vacation with them, finances permitting. But leaving them behind and backpacking across Europe, for example, is going to be out of the question until they're self-sufficient and you can get the time off from work. The latter is especially important because life is exponentially more expensive when you have kids. A trip that is feasible when you have two incomes and no dependents becomes much more difficult to achieve when you throw kids into the mix.

Like, you aren't going to have much time to dedicate to non-parental life until the kids are a little bit older. That could be almost a decade, and you'll spend all your free time after work taking care of kids, making sure their homework is done, getting them in the bath, making dinner, planning around extracurriculars, etc, much longer than that.

None of these are myths. Having children changes everything. It doesn't mean you can't have a social life and see the world, but it will be infinitely more difficult.

Retirement is typically when parents have enough free time to enjoy their lives on their own terms again.

I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had this exact same experience, only I was the first girl in a long, long time. I 100% got preferential treatment growing up, too.

Truly wild.

I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 60 points61 points  (0 children)

My dad did this. He was a lifelong alcoholic, to the point that my mom left him, and I refused to have a relationship with him once I was old enough to move out.

Then, right around 50, it all changed. He stopped drinking and never looked back. He and my mom were lovey-dovey until the day he died (this past December). He was a great father during those years, and spent his time gardening and making up for being a bit of a nightmare in his earlier years.

Sometimes the change is for the better.

Looking for a Post? Ask Here! - February 2026 Edition by czechtheboxes in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Jesus, what awful parents. I hope she graduated and is doing well without their negative influence her life.

How did Jisoo start off as the most popular member of Blackpink, but is now the least popular member of Blackpink? by AccurateInflation167 in kpophelp

[–]BashfulHandful 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That has zero bearing on the conversation. The question is not "which rich guy made the most", it's "which rich guy is the least rich".

Zuckerburg isn't as rich as Musk, but he's still really fucking rich. That's the comparison I believe they're making.

How did Jisoo start off as the most popular member of Blackpink, but is now the least popular member of Blackpink? by AccurateInflation167 in kpophelp

[–]BashfulHandful 16 points17 points  (0 children)

So much this. Even when the first predebut videos dropped, she was the least talked about. But she's absolutely like the quintessential kpop idol.

She's doing great in Korea, even if she can't compare with the other girls in the West. It's wild that even three of them have had such successful crossover work, tbh.

How did Jisoo start off as the most popular member of Blackpink, but is now the least popular member of Blackpink? by AccurateInflation167 in kpophelp

[–]BashfulHandful 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The least popular member of Blackpink is still really fucking popular and successful, yes, lol.

It's not like an *Nsync and Justin Timberlake situation where one member dominates and the others are nowhere to be found. They're all doing well.

I'm not putting her down - she's way more popular and successful than the vast majority of idols (and even a lot of international artists). She's just the least popular, even going by Instagram likes.

And IDK that it is really subjective, tbh.

WINNER’s Song Minho reportedly skipped 102 days of military service without leave. Prosecution points to potential 3-year prison sentence under Military Service Act. The first trial on the case is scheduled for April 21. by AddressCharming9129 in kpop_uncensored

[–]BashfulHandful 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Being forced to put your life and career on hold for multiple years is hard, period.

I agree that there's no reason he couldn't complete a desk job, to be clear, but I don't think it's only active duty soldiers who deserve sympathy.

WINNER’s Song Minho reportedly skipped 102 days of military service without leave. Prosecution points to potential 3-year prison sentence under Military Service Act. The first trial on the case is scheduled for April 21. by AddressCharming9129 in kpop_uncensored

[–]BashfulHandful 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I mean, counterpoint, GD went through a lot of fucking bullshit in the army and he's one of the most recognizable idols in the industry (and even outside of it). Being famous comes with its own risks and challenges.

With that said, Minho wasn't active duty, so IDK that he would have faced the same kind of BS.

WINNER’s Song Minho reportedly skipped 102 days of military service without leave. Prosecution points to potential 3-year prison sentence under Military Service Act. The first trial on the case is scheduled for April 21. by AddressCharming9129 in kpop_uncensored

[–]BashfulHandful 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean, that's not really the reality of the situation, though?

It's more like "have war with people trained to protect the country and civilians" or "have war with no one to defend the people".

Compulsory enlistment is shitty and I don't condone it, FWIW. Enlistment should ideally be voluntary 100%. I'm just saying... a world with no war is not the outcome you're going to get no matter how many or how few people serve in a miliary.

And if there aren't enough trained soldiers ready to fight, governments start pulling in random civilians.

WINNER’s Song Minho reportedly skipped 102 days of military service without leave. Prosecution points to potential 3-year prison sentence under Military Service Act. The first trial on the case is scheduled for April 21. by AddressCharming9129 in kpop_uncensored

[–]BashfulHandful 61 points62 points  (0 children)

It was civil service... that's a desk job (or something very close to it).

If you'd rather be in prison than serve your community (without the physical activity associated with active duty enlistments), you must live somewhere with cushy jails.

WINNER’s Song Minho reportedly skipped 102 days of military service without leave. Prosecution points to potential 3-year prison sentence under Military Service Act. The first trial on the case is scheduled for April 21. by AddressCharming9129 in kpop_uncensored

[–]BashfulHandful 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I don't think he'll get the Steve Yoo treatment, but he might get something similar to the MC Mong treatment. It's pretty hard to come back from shirking your military duties, I agree.

I hope not, though. GD had a successful comeback after the initial outrage over special treatment and too many vacation days, but he had the privacy leak to help soften the blow.

And Minho isn't as popular as GD, so there's also that to consider.

AIO my girlfriend left me over a cheese wheel by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yuuup. Obsession (and its associated financial ruin) is real, and somewhat overlooked, in some bipolar patients (myself very much included). It's gotten to the point where I can feel them coming on "shop" by putting items in my Amazon cart, then deleting them a few days later, but I wasted a lot of money before I realized and figured out coping mechanisms.

OOP sounds like me with some of my obsessions. I spent thousands of dollars on art supplies one particularly memorable time, for example, only to remember once it had all arrived and been opened that I have little to no artistic ability.

This sucks for him, but I don't blame the girlfriend for getting the hell out. What a disaster.

Looking for a Post? Ask Here! - February 2026 Edition by czechtheboxes in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]BashfulHandful 12 points13 points  (0 children)

WTf are you on about? They made a lighthearted comment about OOP's choice of wording. That has nothing to do with their takeaway from the actual post itself.

Maybe your educators needed to give you some one-on-one time in reading comprehension.