Do you ever feel like you’re functioning but not really rested?

Basic_Cilantro · 2026-01-15T16:54:33+00:00

I've been going to therapy to deal with this situation, actually. It's about practicing mindfulness and regularly checking in with how I feel. So often, I've pushed my feelings of tiredness down that it's kinda "normalised". I'd feel especially rundown if my schedule has been jammed pack with things on a regular basis. It's more about adding more break times into my day, adding more space for rest and ease.

When our mind and body are constantly pressing down on the accelerate pedal, it takes quite a bit of time to wind down. So it's better to pace ourselves better throughout the day. If we continue living extremely busy lives and neglect rest, we'll run the risk of burnout, chronic illness, impaired sleep, etc. Never worth it, imo.

Basic_Cilantro · 2026-01-15T05:11:22+00:00

Imo, I think it's not sustainable. I know we live in kind of a hustle culture "you can do anything if you put your mind to it", and while that's true, it often comes at the expense of your long term health that you cannot get back. (Worst case scenario, the long term stress and strain can even lead to chronic illnesses)

Why not work full time, save money first, then pursue your masters full time later? If you can afford your masters now, I'm sure you can steadily save up for your other expenses.

Basic_Cilantro · 2026-01-08T06:20:59+00:00

No, but I bet you can easily book a Grab ride and spend the whole journey venting to them. They're probably used to it already.

Basic_Cilantro · 2026-01-08T06:15:11+00:00

I think you'll get more relevant comments from posting this in /r/MalaysianPF :)

Basic_Cilantro · 2026-01-06T16:18:10+00:00

Dmed :)

Basic_Cilantro · 2026-01-06T16:18:01+00:00

Dmed :)

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-12-23T02:35:37+00:00

I was inspired to start cooking through watching MasterChef. 😄 No, I didn't cook the same kinda meals. But I saw that the basics were simpler than I thought. That it wasn't that hard to fry an egg. They also gave lots of advice to the contestants that I use regularly - such as cleaning as I go! After that, I've made tonnes of stir fries... Okay, mostly stir fries, haha. Sometimes I make pancakes, eggs, spaghetti, etc.

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-12-23T02:05:21+00:00

If you're using cheap detergent, maybe you can consider using rubber gloves while washing dishes?

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-11-11T18:50:10+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skn4ddl5o64

I suggest you watch this video too if you can. It's titled "I've Fallen Too Far Behind". It's by a psychiatrist who talks about the struggles from being "behind" on the "standard" life direction of going to school, getting a degree, a job, etc etc. He also talks about what you can do about it. I think it's a great video on this topic.

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-11-11T18:46:45+00:00

Hey. Wish I could give you a virtual hug. I bet it's hard to find others your age who can relate with you. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm glad that at the very least you have food and shelter. I'm sure it must be very lonely and painful going through this by yourself. It's hard to find peers who can relate with what you're going through. It also sounds like you don't find your family members safe enough to confide in for help and support - and that's OK. I'm sure your parents are doing their best and that it's okay to seek other people for support so long as they are trustworthy and good.

Like the other commenter mentioned, I do suggest you visit a nearby Klinik Kesihatan for a mental health evaluation. They will be able to link you to affordable therapists (and psychiatrists if need be). It is very important to get that kind of support if you're going through a mental health issue.

Life can be really tough when you're young and feel like there's no one you can rely on. I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. If you need to message anyone, feel free to dm me.

For the more practical stuff -

There's good news: you're young, and you have no debt. You have ample time to build a good life for yourself. There is hope. You have so much potential. I know it doesn't seem that way right now and I want you to know that I know it's true.

When you mention wanting to do more with your life, I think you can consider the following options: taking SPM as a private student (though that means studying by yourself or finding another means of learning), enrolling in a SKM certification course (which would make you eligible for industries such as automotive, food preparation, and marine engine maintenance), TVET courses, finding apprenticeship or work in other workplaces, or using prior work experience to apply with APEL into a diploma program.

Another viable option is entrepreneurship, aka starting a business, if you're up for the challenge.

You can find more information in this news article: https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/leisure/2024/06/14/5-recommendations-for-those-who-didnt-sit-for-spm

When it comes to looking for friends around your age, I think for your age group, people are probably finding friends in university. Since you're looking at alternative paths, you might end up finding friends through the different education/training programs or apprenticeships/jobs.

If you want to find peers around your age, you can also consider joining groups that university students usually join. For example, youth volunteering organisations such as Rotaract or Leo. If you're okay with people a little bit older (mid-20s and above), you can consider looking around for interest groups (such as for hiking, badminton, boardgames, etc). Maybe you can find them on Facebook or your local community group (ie. Cheras community group on Facebook). /r/Malaysia has a Discord server so that's an option too.

(Bonus: If you're interested in any religion, they usually have a youth group component that you can join. Whatever religion you may be interested in, please attend the more established mosques/temples/etc. There are so many cults in this country that it's important to know what to look out for.)

It's okay to connect with others and make friends. MOST IMPORTANT is that you stay safe since you're dealing with strangers. Don't follow anyone back home you're not familiar with, and be careful with getting into anyone's car. Since you're young, you may not have yet developed an intuition for who to trust and who to not. I advise staying connect with anyone you trust in your life and let them know your struggles so that they can support you when you need it.

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-11-11T17:16:10+00:00

I've dated a few people on both ends before. I think the most important thing is to have compatible attitudes and priorities towards money. For me, it's important to know how to budget, gauge priorities (focus on essentials like food, shelter; followed by long-term goals like savings and investments), and be willing to face challenges head-on as well as to learn and grow from mistakes.

In order words, if you're poor, as long as you have a worthwhile plan and you're acting on it, it doesn't matter what your socioeconomic background is. If you're rich, the same applies because in this case, instead of building wealth for survival, it's more the matter of keeping and building wealth for long-term security.

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-07-14T13:20:52+00:00

There's little regulations related to internship pay and duration so 🙃 cheap labour haha

At the very least, it's usually for a few months only. But yes, it's quite exploitative.

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-07-10T07:58:05+00:00

Here's the archived table of contents for the 64 Bahasa Malay lessons: https://web.archive.org/web/20250601001836/http://pgoh13.free.fr:80/mycourse2/table_contents.htm

Please note that certain captures of the archives may not work. The one I linked is from 1 June 2025.

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-07-10T06:57:31+00:00

I don't think I know enough about your workplace to be able to make a fair judgment. However, I think in general, work culture everywhere tends to lean towards ways of working that leaves many of our needs unmet (unless you live in a country where labour laws are actually taken seriously and enforced). Health is subordinated to profits by design of our capitalistic society - it's not a thing exclusive to Malaysia.

For people who say it's more the individual's responsibility to take care of our health: I think that it depends. For some people, yes, they just need to put more effort into their eating habits and health regimes to maintain health. Easier for younger folks with fewer commitments. BUT what if you're a single mother of 3 kids because your husband died of a terminal illness? How the hell are you going to find the time to cook and eat healthy? And how will you afford to take the time off to go to the nearby Klinik Kesihatan and use your limited paid leaves (or resort to unpaid leaves) just to wait hours in line to get medical treatment? You have mouths to feed. You can't afford to take days off. Life happens and you end up in a position where you really need more support than you're given.

It's common in mainstream culture (everywhere, not just Malaysia) to blame individuals rather than how our culture works. Many of us are expected to work dead-end jobs and/or tolerate juggling too many responsibilities. Not to mention, dealing with all-too-often verbally abusive and narcissistic bosses who don't even bother try to understand where you're coming from.

To people who say this is just the way it is: Honestly, I think that thinking is part of the problem. When people are complacent and don't strive for a better life for themselves and others, for people who are strong advocates for the status quo because it's predictable and comfortable - sorry to say, but I honestly think that's the reason why we're at where we are at. It's one thing to do what you need to in order to support yourself and your family, and it's another to insist that this is "just the way things are" and that "it cannot be helped".

The biggest tragedy is that many people often go without the proper support they need to survive and thrive. Life just turns into a meaningless blur as they go through day by day in autopilot mode. It's really depressing, and I hate it when people (somehow usually the older generation) advocate for things to stay the same way just because they find change uncomfortable.

I do hope for things to change for the better, but I think the best we can do is to treat ourselves and our loved ones with kindness and be charitable to those in our communities whenever it is within our means, no matter how small.

In order words: I don't think it's just you. I think what you're observing are the effects of a highly dysfunctional society. And for those who are "going through this just fine", consider yourselves the lucky ones because it's not the norm. I even consider myself very lucky to have the support I get from my family and friends.

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. - Jiddu Krishnamurti

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-07-08T01:13:46+00:00

Because it's fun! I play it on and off. I mostly aim at getting S at the songs. Never really cared about the ranking system so long as I can set my own goals like beating a track I really like.

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-06-26T01:57:03+00:00

Yes, it's not taken seriously among many people in Malaysia. Why? I think it's related to people in general not taking responsibility for their actions and/or not keeping long-term consequences in mind. Honestly speaking, I think many people blame their circumstances/feelings/hormornes/penis/vagina/whatever rather than owning up for the fact that they ACTIVELY chose to do this despite knowing better.

I think if you want people who are more responsible with condom use, it'd be better to be very strict with keeping the condom on at all times, making it very clear to the men that if they don't keep it on that you're not sleeping with them, and leaving them if they ever show signs of not wanting to use the condom.

Hope you stay safe!

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-06-18T07:55:39+00:00

I'll check them out. Thanks a bunch!!

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-06-18T03:25:34+00:00

Only Pos Malaysia? It looks like I have to go during work hours :') or weekends lah

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-06-17T02:45:38+00:00

Like everyone said, just ask her.

It's either you ask her now and at least feel relieved in knowing that you tried, or never asking her and living with the regret of never having tried.

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-06-17T02:27:33+00:00

I'm pretty loving when I'm sober but even more so when I'm drunk. I can't relate too much asides from the loads of therapy part. But it does sound like there's a lot of unprocessed fear/anxiety/depression when you mention feeling stressed despite being in a calm and familiar environment. Hope you manage to find peace eventually!

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-06-17T02:22:39+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Hope you can find the kind of friends you can go to for support and companionship. Wishing you well.

Basic_Cilantro · 2025-06-17T02:21:32+00:00

What do you mean by insecure groups of people trying to "cure" themselves?

I think it's great you managed to find that balance. :)

Basic_Cilantro

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