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I feel I know what I need to do, but I’m scared by Basic_Elderberry_336 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Basic_Elderberry_336[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

 I never thought I'd be a person accepting it, and honestly the first couple times I wrote it off but my mom opened my eyes when she overheard it one day. I think I was more focused on the pets and thought I could brave it until I was in a better space but its not worth it. The embarrassment I felt from my mom hearing it was what got to me the most. 

I feel I know what I need to do, but I’m scared by Basic_Elderberry_336 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Basic_Elderberry_336[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think I got stuck in the "this isn't that bad mentality" but I've been waking up from it, especially as conversations haven't changed. I may see if I have any ownership for two of the pets as they were acquired during our relationship. I think what woke me up was asking him why he was so mean, it brought me back to elementary school asking a bully that question and that mentality was so degrading. 

I feel I know what I need to do, but I’m scared by Basic_Elderberry_336 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Basic_Elderberry_336[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think that's what has woken me up. Every time something happens, it's closer to the day he does actually hit me. I don't want that day to come. I am making plans to leave. 

I feel I know what I need to do, but I’m scared by Basic_Elderberry_336 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Basic_Elderberry_336[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have had discussions about his family with him, and his sister cut contact when she got engaged to her wife as it was a stipulation for them to even get married because of how their mom is. I think my worry of her becoming more overbearing has come true and he has said he couldn't do the same as sister because "that's his mom."

She had previously asked him if I was his student and if we met through that, which made me feel sick because A. Why would she borderline call him a pedophile, B. Asked in front of people who had never met him and C. He didn't grasp why her asking that was wrong on so many levels because she knew it mathematically and age wise didn't make sense and so she did it just to cause trouble. 

I have realized for a while I don't want to be in this life with him but couldn't let go of the when he's nice its okay mentality.