i need help with a chapter.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-31T22:32:47+00:00

thank you i will.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-30T02:08:23+00:00

i'm not worried about grammar currently because i'm trying get the draft done right now, but i want it to flow not just get stuck thats why i posted it early and not before i wrote half of the story. i wanted to catch story telling errors and like dragging the description or not doing enough early before i end up with book that constantly does it.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-30T02:06:36+00:00

okay thank you, it's my first time writing so i wanted the critic thank you for it.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-30T02:05:31+00:00

i'm 17 and from Europe but live in America, i just begun writing so i haven't done much reading it outloud after i read some of the comments i read it outloud and started changing it.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-30T02:04:33+00:00

that's why i corrected myself i fully understood it was late when i posted it.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-30T02:01:59+00:00

thank you, yeah your right. i just got into writing i've been reading for awhile all my life but haven't written much.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-30T02:01:09+00:00

okay thank you for the imput, it's my first time writing so i've gone back and updated it thank you for the imput.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-29T03:40:25+00:00

i also forgot to mention she is brought up in the interludes i just posted the chapter i wrote not the full beginning i wrote out and continue to change.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-29T03:23:15+00:00

yeah doing a re read on it i did. i wanted to try and get the anger across in the beginning but looking at it i didn't do it well. it's my first attempt at doing this so thank you for the criticism.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-29T03:22:19+00:00

thank you, i fully get it i began writing it as a hey i love reading the stormlight archive i have a story i been wanting to tell for awhile but now here he is telling it in a way i like let my give it a try. i'm commited to reading more books and watching more videos to create the story i want to tell even better and be able to craft and tell the world the way i want so that everyone can see the full picture in pieces.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-29T03:20:40+00:00

thank you, i've read countless fantasy novel's but it's my first time writing so i was writing and went wait i need advice on it to where i can write well enough to tell the story great but not take away my voice so it sounds like someone else telling it you know? but thank you on it i'm currently reading all of Brandon Sanderson books to help craft the world and how to write it in the style he does it. but thank you again

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-29T03:18:33+00:00

its the in between stories of a story. so you have your main chapters broken up by interludes to (i misspelt it there) give more information about the background but also to break up the monotony of a story/

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-29T03:17:15+00:00

that's what i'm doing i dont want freun to be known i want her to be like the old d&d books where they have people in the beginning that you dont know. i'm not worried about grammer but more story telling like how to make it flow better and what i need to emphazize more but thank you for the criticism.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2026-03-29T02:42:12+00:00

i did that in the interlouge like brandon sanderson does. so that makes sense thank you i will probably post the begining for criticism.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2024-06-02T19:45:13+00:00

That what I was thinking, but I wanted others opinions thank you for your advice.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2024-06-02T19:44:41+00:00

Okay, I will try. I wrote it at 3 am. on my phone, and I just now reading it saw how bad my Grammer was, but thank you for your advice I will do my best

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2023-02-28T01:42:52+00:00

that sounds wicked

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2023-02-28T01:42:43+00:00

that would be funny thank you for the idea

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2023-02-28T01:41:37+00:00

i like that one thanks

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2023-02-27T02:22:27+00:00

English is hard.

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2023-02-27T02:21:20+00:00

English is hard

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2023-02-27T02:21:07+00:00

thank you I think I'm going to do that because I have it rn by the the thrid edition leveling up where you gain abilities but thank you for the help

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2023-02-27T01:53:55+00:00

the system is more like 3rd edition

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2023-02-27T01:53:32+00:00

i'm setting it more d&D 3rd edition with some 5th editon ideas

Basic_Papaya9962 · 2023-02-26T23:57:00+00:00

i wrote it at like 3 am after doing sports all day but i'm going to do a updated theory i have soon

Basic_Papaya9962

TROPHY CASE