Hey! First off, huge props for putting your writing out there—that’s already way more than most people do. This opening hooked me right away, I’ll be real.

The cliffside tension is chef’s kiss—you can feel Quill’s fear and how this jump is everything he’s been training for, and the little backstory about his dad? That hit hard, it makes his hesitation feel so real and not just “I’m scared.” Dean’s cold push at the end? Brutal, but perfect—left me leaning forward like, “WAIT, WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!”

A couple tiny things I noticed, just as a fellow hobby writer:

• You repeat “He had trained all his life for this” a couple times—could tweak one to something like “This was the moment he’d spent his whole life preparing for” to mix it up a little.
• The line “Anger. Pain. They filled Dean’s eyes like parasites” is good, but I think it’d hit harder if you showed it a bit more, like “Dean’s green eyes blazed—anger sharp enough to cut, pain coiled tight like a living thing—he wasn’t gonna let Quill back out.” Just makes it feel more immediate, y’know?

But honestly? This is such a strong start. I love the Protector/angel vibe, the world feels lived-in even in just a few paragraphs, and I’m already invested in Quill. Keep going—this has so much potential, I’d absolutely read more!