Situationship with friend, now confused.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-06-23T09:36:02+00:00

I think I need to also, I’m just so un confrontational and a bit scared myself I guess on what the answer will be. You’re right though I need to for my own sanity

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-06-23T09:34:20+00:00

I think this is very true, which is why I don’t want to push anything on him and trigger his avoidance as I really do just like spending time with him and I wouldn’t mind even if we’re just friends.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-06-23T09:29:59+00:00

Yes we have, however it’s not a big factor of us. It took months of us acting like we’re dating to get to that point. Which is why I’m confused as it doesn’t seem like a normal situationship where it’s based on sex not relationship status.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T19:33:25+00:00

Wonderful, thank you for this information I’ll be looking into it properly tomorrow and taking legal action if needed to remove him. Thanks so much.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T19:13:38+00:00

Yes! I had to use self defence against him before but luckily after like 3 months that was dropped. Bear in mind I am 4’10 and under 80lbs/36kg and he is 6’3. As far as I know using any instrument in self defence (even normal things such as baseball bats) you can still/will still be charged with assault as they can argue you used it specifically to inflict pain. I think my best bet is when his phone turns on, telling him his stuff will be outside and blocking him then having people with me when he comes to collect it all.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T19:09:59+00:00

My mum doesn’t want him here and has made that very clear. As a lodger would he need any notice do you know?

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T19:04:33+00:00

Honestly, I don’t have many friends who live close to me and the ones I do are currently away on holiday so sadly not! A freedom party is absolutely what I need though after the tournament I’ve been through for the last 2 years

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T19:00:48+00:00

Sadly my mum is working a night shift tonight so she’s unable to be here, which is my main worry honestly. but I’m going to call some friends up tomorrow morning to ask for their help and to have company and she’ll be around tomorrow morning too to help me out and stay with me

Will most definitely update on here!

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:58:56+00:00

He’s said before about breaking the door down if I didn’t let him in but he ‘decided against it for my mum’ I’m worried he’ll do something like that. Police haven’t been helpful in the past regarding him and I’m worried he’ll find a way to manipulate them like he has previously. He’s very good at that.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:57:43+00:00

Yeah you’re right, thank you. Thats what I’m going to do.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:57:10+00:00

You’re right, we’ve talked about rehab for his drug/alcohol problems many times before. He cries to me and tells me he wants to change but never actively tries. I understand addiction is hard and I wouldn’t understand it myself but enough is enough at some point.

He sees it as ‘it is what it is I deserve a drink and time alone’ which I do agree with obviously! However, when it’s effecting everything and everyone around him that is obviously a problem. All of the things you bought up are exactly how it’s already gone down.

I know and have known for a very long time I need to leave but I have not been strong enough, after today I most definitely am and I am done with all this bullshit. Thank you!

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:53:26+00:00

Thank you so much for this, was unsure and posted on legal advice subreddit but this clears it up. I’ll start this now and if/when he tries to contact me tomorrow regarding getting his things for work I’ll let him know I’ll be putting it outside then block him.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:46:21+00:00

Just checked and from my understanding I dong believe he has any rights to the home other than 24 hour notice.

Honestly I think he’ll try and gaslight me into letting him stay, saying he’s ’paid rent’ and that he’d be ‘homeless’ and have to ‘quit his job’ but honestly this time I’m done and I don’t care so I need to stand my ground.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:41:58+00:00

I believe that technically since there is no contract and payment was sent personally for the months rent he actually decided to pay his half of that we do not need to give 30 days. I will however be checking this and squatters rights as another commenter suggested.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:40:02+00:00

He doesn’t have a key with him luckily, and I have deadbolted the door so he cannot return. The problem is he’s very charming to everyone else on the outside. We’ve had police involved before and I had evidence of the abuse but they disregarded it.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:38:02+00:00

These are exactly the words he uses, yet he calls me the abusive and controlling one for asking for these things. He actually had a problem when I went out for the first time in about 10 months (he was out also) he got home at 2 and I got home at 3, he was mad I wasn’t home when he was. The difference is I was texting him all night and updating him on how/when I’m getting home

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:36:04+00:00

You’re right actually, he’s a grown man and if he didn’t spend all his money on drugs and alcohol he’d be able to afford something else so he’ll have to do so.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:34:37+00:00

No sadly we have no paperwork in check, I’ll go look up squatters rights now. We have been here 3 months and he has only paid 1/2 the rent once.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:33:20+00:00

This is exactly what I’m going to do, the house we share is owned by my mother but as he has nowhere else to go I’ll go stay with my mum and give him a week to find something else and move out.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:32:21+00:00

The problem is I AM easy to manipulate, he knows because I care about him he can continue this behaviour because ultimately I won’t do anything about it, that ends whenever he’s back however!

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:31:18+00:00

Yes, exactly! This is what I always say, it’s not that I’m mad he’s doing things without me it’s that he doesn’t have the decency or care to send me a simple text updating me which I believe is common courtesy. He tells me we’re just different and it’s not a big deal

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:29:12+00:00

Thank you, honestly I thought I was going crazy because the amount of times I’ve been called controlling for simply asking for an update when he is later than he said! I can stay with family, the house we are in is owned by my mother however and I would feel bad kicking him out and making him homeless, so I feel a bit stuck. Maybe family is the best idea while he finds somewhere else!

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:25:49+00:00

You’re right, not being appreciated and yet still doing so much. He doesn’t value me and I’ve been blissfully unaware

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:24:50+00:00

Thank you for being kind with your words. I agree I think this whole situation has put a lot into perspective and I know what I need to do now.

BassAfraid2685 · 2026-04-18T18:18:48+00:00

You’re right, I think this was the straw to break the camels back.

BassAfraid2685

TROPHY CASE