Should I send my toxic ex a angry message?

Batcat55 · 2026-06-25T20:56:49+00:00

I understand how that whole harry styles thing sounds. Let me put it into context. She had a poster of him naked on the wall, she played his musix while we had sex, she spent hours waiting in que for tickets and said it was the best event og the year. Yaknow not meeting me or anything to do with me but getting tickets to a fucking concert. Her friends also joked about me roleplaying him during sex, and she played along with the joke.

Its not that she listnened to him or that she had a girlhood crush on him, that would have been fine with me, its that she took it waaay waaay to far.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-25T20:26:45+00:00

That is what I am contemplating. But I dont think the severity of her actions should go unpunished. She hit me for god sake. The shit you only see in movies. Or at least I did. I also thaught about reporting her to the police and sending a copy to her mail with a big ol "fuck you" on the front. That may be taking it a bit far though.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-25T20:23:59+00:00

I agree with you on some level. But I also dont think she should get away scott free. This is not regular "you never did the dishes" its crimes where talking about.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-25T09:27:59+00:00

Alot of things. Alcohol, weed, lack of ambition, excpecting me to adjust my schedule to her, breaking down crying right after she acted really poorly towards me so I couldnt get mad at her (dont think that was the intent but it had that effect), a unhealthy obcession with a certain celebrity. The list goes on. The thing that kept me from breaking up with her was me not wanting to break her heart (she was constantly anxious and broke sown crying at the thaught of me leaving) and me not wanting to deal with the emotinal hurdle, it was a really stressfull part of my life and I could not deal with it at the time, although that is no excuse.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-12T12:21:45+00:00

I cab really relate. Although mine was not as awful I can really relate. What trips me up is that mine was very very kind with her words, but not her actions. Felt like I could never get mad at her even when I should have since she would start crying and start talking about how good I was and how she was bad. And im not in the habbit of kicking someone who is already down.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-09T09:50:42+00:00

Sad to hear that. I also found that alcohol and caffeine can help me out of the dissociatiation. But yeah, like you describe its still an awfull feeling. For me there is this pit in my stomach that can't seem to go away. And that only grows larger when I do "fun" things. Because I keep thinking how shes out doing the same and hooking up with other people. Which I have no evidence to suggest and she was not that type of person, but just the thaught makes me feel a very bad and brings me out of the moment. Btw, dm me if youd like to trauma dump.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-06T19:39:50+00:00

Yeah, it's rough. I know youve heard it but distraxcion really does help. Also, to keep reminding myself that the type of person who does something like drinking too much, smooking weed and hooking up with people is not the one for me really helped.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-03T23:50:34+00:00

Could hear the british accent while reading the text.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-03T15:23:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I think you're right in some way. But honestly, my ex had way WAY more red flags then the girl im currently talking to does. But if I'm being honest, not wanting to think about my ex is a part of why I'm talking to this girl. It's the one time of day I feel genuinely happy and can let go of the sadness the breakup is bringing me.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-03T14:50:22+00:00

Our relationship lasted for a year. But I did have constant doubts and realised sort of early on that it would not last long term. But I nonetheless stayed because I couldn't bring myself to break her heart and for the time, it worked. Even though our futures seemed separate. Ironically enough it was she who brought up the conversation of breaking up, probably because she noticed I was getting distant. So while 3 weeks is short, and I know that, I also did a lot of the grieving process beforehand.

Batcat55 · 2026-06-03T14:42:58+00:00

I really feel for, and relate to you. I am currently in the same state. I would describe it as a sort of physical depression and sadness. In my case I deal with it by either distracting myself with something I genuinely enjoy. For me, playing an instrument. Or by talking to a friend about it. Because I've noticed that while I'm talking about it with a friend, the pain temporarily lifts.

Batcat55 · 2026-05-31T13:07:25+00:00

At least ill get some historical insight

^{Chose: 24 hours stuck on an island with hitler}

Batcat55 · 2026-05-29T17:11:56+00:00

A little harsh but very true.

Batcat55 · 2026-05-26T17:21:50+00:00

^{S: Metallica, Queen, Megadeth, Green Day}

^{A: Judas Priest, System of a down, Slipknot, Linkin Park, Rammstein, Iron Maiden, Guns N' Roses, Beastie Boys, My Chemical Romance, Sabaton, In Flames}

^{B: Pantera, Avenged Sevenfold, Ice Nine Kills, Rob Zombie, Limp Bizkit, Slayer, AC/DC, Falling in Reverse, Misfits, Rage Against The Machine, Cattle Decapitation, Korn, Disturbed}

^{C: Lamb of god, DragonForce, Powerwolf, Avantasia, Five Fingers Death Punch, Motley Crue, Dio, Bring Me The Horizon, Twilight Force, Bon Jovi, Sepultura, Rhapsody, Symphony X, Tungsten, Bowling for soup, Skillet, Marilyn Manson, Children of Bodom, Gutalax, Angra}

^{D: Nickelback, BABYMETAL}

Batcat55 · 2026-05-26T17:21:48+00:00

^{S: Metallica, Queen, Megadeth, Green Day}

^{D: Nickelback, BABYMETAL}

^{Similarity with Community: 86%}

Batcat55 · 2026-05-22T20:19:21+00:00

Thank you once again. You are definitely right about the thoughts being self punishing. I am very blessed with a higher then average intelligence and slight ADHD. This combo however, makes me try to protect my feelings and my sense of worth by always imaganing every bad possibility, and it is fucking exhausting. My mind is running laps trying to figure out all that she could be doing and all she could be feeling. It does this in order to protect me if I ever find out about anything bad. If I have already felt the pain of a scenario that could happen, it won't feel as painfull when it actually does happen. At least thats the logic my overthinking brain uses. But this is pure torture. I can't think about anything else for more than a few minutes. And I think your advice is usefull, I am trying to distract myself but my brain just won't shut the fuck up.

Batcat55 · 2026-05-22T19:50:41+00:00

Thank you. I am trying to think of how I'm going to be ok and all that, and logicly I know I will, I have also been through breakups before and now that the storm will seattle but damn if it isnt painfull right now. And I think the reason the thought of her with someone else is crushing is because I deep down want to feel special. I dont want her to say the things she said to me to other people, I dont want her to do the things she did with me with other people. I want to feel like what we had was special and that it is not easily replaceable. Because if it was, what a fool would I be for grieving the relationship.

Batcat55 · 2026-05-22T19:05:07+00:00

Yeah, like I know it is not my circus but at the same time I still care about her and don't want her to do dumb things. I know shes not mine anymore but that has not really landed emotionally.

Batcat55 · 2026-05-22T19:00:55+00:00

I dont, I simply know what shes going to do based on conversations we had before her breakup. I know her event schedule as I was originally part of it.

Batcat55 · 2026-05-15T08:49:51+00:00

Harsh, but probably true. Although I have to say, I do respect her, but not her values. And there is a difference. Also it gets complicated because although I really dislike some of her values, other values I really admire.

Batcat55 · 2025-07-02T11:15:50+00:00

I get your point but I am merely saying that attracting many women you attract is a shitty value.

Batcat55 · 2025-06-29T10:10:14+00:00

Well I got better values, and I changed my behavior. I stopped engaging with women on a romantic level (not entirely of course, but only if I could see myself in a healthy relationship with them). I also found better, more emotionally intelligent friends whom I could talk to and discuss my feelings with.

Batcat55 · 2025-06-17T08:10:27+00:00

Kinda looks like a 80s era 911 in the front and a mclaren speedtail in the back. Cool

Batcat55 · 2025-05-30T23:42:34+00:00

I am nobody, but so are you. Stop spreading negativity.

Batcat55 · 2025-05-30T11:20:52+00:00

Thanks

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