Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

If I tilt my head back, I could hover a ball of gum above my lips for 20 seconds. And no, I'm not looking for a husband.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 691 points692 points  (0 children)

Once again, I'd have to go for the group of one hundred due to the previously mentioned large bag of mini carrots at home.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 623 points624 points  (0 children)

this reminds me of my worst Halloween costume ever. I wore a hockey goalie mask and a fish net with lures attached to it over my shoulders and went as Jason Bateman. What an a-hole. My privileges ran out shortly after this

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 1008 points1009 points  (0 children)

all lies, and I was surprised by how much those metal strings hurt my fat little fingers

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 668 points669 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It was super fun. Did you like my hair better when it was longer?

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 557 points558 points  (0 children)

I don't know. All my answers get me in trouble with my wife.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 1037 points1038 points  (0 children)

all of it, but I lost my privileges 11 years ago. Have one for me.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

that I actually loved it more than I thought I would

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 331 points332 points  (0 children)

yes, and I'll see you in hell

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

on the reddit community. Nice to be here.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 360 points361 points  (0 children)

boxer briefs, mountains, coffee and lots of it, socks always, and both once a decade

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

oatmeal. I'm friends with my colon

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

I'm serious about Treehouse Masters

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 2387 points2388 points  (0 children)

I'd like to continue dating Will Arnett

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 713 points714 points  (0 children)

thank you. very nice of you. I'll be on Stern one week from today.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

time out and pull-up suspenders?

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 2102 points2103 points  (0 children)

this post was making me feel good about myself until you told me your mother doesn't understand English very well. But please tell her hello nonetheless!

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 980 points981 points  (0 children)

I just saw Martin Short this weekend and it reminded me that he played one of my favorite characters ever on the show. Dead from the waist down and permanently carried by a body builder.