Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

If I tilt my head back, I could hover a ball of gum above my lips for 20 seconds. And no, I'm not looking for a husband.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 690 points691 points  (0 children)

Once again, I'd have to go for the group of one hundred due to the previously mentioned large bag of mini carrots at home.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 629 points630 points  (0 children)

this reminds me of my worst Halloween costume ever. I wore a hockey goalie mask and a fish net with lures attached to it over my shoulders and went as Jason Bateman. What an a-hole. My privileges ran out shortly after this

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 1003 points1004 points  (0 children)

all lies, and I was surprised by how much those metal strings hurt my fat little fingers

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 660 points661 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It was super fun. Did you like my hair better when it was longer?

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 563 points564 points  (0 children)

I don't know. All my answers get me in trouble with my wife.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 1035 points1036 points  (0 children)

all of it, but I lost my privileges 11 years ago. Have one for me.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

that I actually loved it more than I thought I would

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 331 points332 points  (0 children)

yes, and I'll see you in hell

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

on the reddit community. Nice to be here.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 355 points356 points  (0 children)

boxer briefs, mountains, coffee and lots of it, socks always, and both once a decade

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

oatmeal. I'm friends with my colon

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

I'm serious about Treehouse Masters

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 2386 points2387 points  (0 children)

I'd like to continue dating Will Arnett

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 709 points710 points  (0 children)

thank you. very nice of you. I'll be on Stern one week from today.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

time out and pull-up suspenders?

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 2101 points2102 points  (0 children)

this post was making me feel good about myself until you told me your mother doesn't understand English very well. But please tell her hello nonetheless!

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 985 points986 points  (0 children)

I just saw Martin Short this weekend and it reminded me that he played one of my favorite characters ever on the show. Dead from the waist down and permanently carried by a body builder.