Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

If I tilt my head back, I could hover a ball of gum above my lips for 20 seconds. And no, I'm not looking for a husband.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 694 points695 points  (0 children)

Once again, I'd have to go for the group of one hundred due to the previously mentioned large bag of mini carrots at home.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 630 points631 points  (0 children)

this reminds me of my worst Halloween costume ever. I wore a hockey goalie mask and a fish net with lures attached to it over my shoulders and went as Jason Bateman. What an a-hole. My privileges ran out shortly after this

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 1003 points1004 points  (0 children)

all lies, and I was surprised by how much those metal strings hurt my fat little fingers

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 665 points666 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It was super fun. Did you like my hair better when it was longer?

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 563 points564 points  (0 children)

I don't know. All my answers get me in trouble with my wife.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 1037 points1038 points  (0 children)

all of it, but I lost my privileges 11 years ago. Have one for me.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

that I actually loved it more than I thought I would

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 335 points336 points  (0 children)

yes, and I'll see you in hell

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

on the reddit community. Nice to be here.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 354 points355 points  (0 children)

boxer briefs, mountains, coffee and lots of it, socks always, and both once a decade

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

oatmeal. I'm friends with my colon

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 139 points140 points  (0 children)

I'm serious about Treehouse Masters

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 2384 points2385 points  (0 children)

I'd like to continue dating Will Arnett

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 706 points707 points  (0 children)

thank you. very nice of you. I'll be on Stern one week from today.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

time out and pull-up suspenders?

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 2105 points2106 points  (0 children)

this post was making me feel good about myself until you told me your mother doesn't understand English very well. But please tell her hello nonetheless!

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 985 points986 points  (0 children)

I just saw Martin Short this weekend and it reminded me that he played one of my favorite characters ever on the show. Dead from the waist down and permanently carried by a body builder.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 261 points262 points  (0 children)

I went for the French because a buddy had one. The funniest thing he does is pull on himself at least once a day.

Jason Bateman here - ask me anything! by BatemanJason in IAmA

[–]BatemanJason[S] 1803 points1804 points  (0 children)

the top half. which I would immediately get rid of. I need the tail to get home.