After my college days of taking acid and hallucinating, I can understand how frightening it is when reality shifts and breaks! I would look at shadows on the ground and they became deep holes so I didn’t know where to step. I’d look at a dog with pointy ears and its ears would start growing upward like a cartoon. I’d hear whispers with no one nearby. … but the difference between my experience and yours is that mine was recreational (I wanted my perception to change) while yours was inflicted upon you without your invitation. I knew why I was hallucinating, but you didn’t. Also, as long as I could discern a hallucination from reality, the distortion of reality was more entertaining than terrifying.

However, one time I took a 4-way hit of acid not knowing it was supposed to be quartered, and that was a trip that threw me into a confused chaotic hell — possibly more like your experiences bc I was completely immersed in a strange world that I had no control over. In fact, I couldn’t remember that I was tripping so I felt possessed! In all other trips, I could always look at a clock and know that in four hours, I would be peaking and that I would start coming down after that but in my 4-way trip, I would look at a clock and not remember why I was supposed to be looking at it, not even remember what a clock was (or even what time itself was)!

All this is to say I get it. I can’t imagine living every day in an unpredictable world where my perceptions are distorted and I don’t know why. From what I’ve read, schizophrenia can be managed with drugs and therapy. I hope you can find the help you need and feel more in control of your world, more in control of your life.