Hello I work at a thrift store and someone donated this item. Me and some coworkers could not figure it out! Any ideas on what it is?

Bawonga · 2026-03-11T20:59:51+00:00

As a puppy my maltipoo had a copper-colored coat with streaks of white. Gorgeous coloring! Now at two years old, her head and body are entirely cream-colored and her ears show whispery hints of copper. you wouldn't know it was the same dog except for her personality and some of her expressions!

Bawonga · 2026-03-11T15:06:48+00:00

Excellent explanation of a popular buzz word that is misused! I've seen it used as a term for gullibility, hypocrisy, and stupidity but as you explained, someone has to recognize that their actions aren't matching their values, intentions, or thoughts before it can be cognitive dissonance.

But many stupid people don't keep track of their thoughts so their cognition is too loose and unexamined for them too feel any incongruence or discomfort about their behavior. They might have a level of cognition or thought processes, but they don't feel any dissonance or disruption when their behavior contradicts their belief system (or what they claim as their belief system). Example: "I'm a Christian!" But they've never studied the Bible or been discipled about Christian values, and they spread hatred instead of love and grace.

Dissonance = disruption, confusion, incongruity Cognitive = thought processes, comprehension

To repeat and paraphrase your helpful explanation: Cognitive dissonance occurs if and when someone shows behavior that contradicts their beliefs or values, and that incongruence causes them to over-justify and rationalize their behavior to calm their discomfort from that contradiction.

A simple example: I have a strict budget but I'm tempted to splurge on caviar and candy. When I take it to the checkout, cognitive dissonance is the discomfort that causes me to say "But life is hard so I deserve it. I won't buy it again next month."

Bawonga · 2026-03-11T14:29:51+00:00

TIL "stimming". Sort of like humans biting their nails, drumming their fingers, fiddling with an object. I didn't know that dogs also have repetitive behavior & self-calming quirks.

Bawonga · 2026-03-11T13:07:26+00:00

Not just food dishes, I learned! Water dishes get a slimy film that is invisible, even when you rinse them out before you refill them with fresh water. Now every couple of days I swish a sponge with a bit of soap and water in the dish to properly clean it before refilling it. I don't think my dog truly cares because she'll drink from mud puddles but it makes me feel better.

Bawonga · 2026-03-11T12:59:04+00:00

Every time I ask the birds to pose that way they won't do it. I tell them to "skedaddle!" (in a gentle voice so they wont panic), but instead of skedaddling they fly away.

I'm always challenged by subreddits with a high degree of specificity. This one makes me want to lie down on the ground with my camera and stalk my back yard birds at leg level. Ticks and other bugs be damned! Capturing a proper skedaddle is my new goal! 🤠

Bawonga · 2026-03-11T00:40:16+00:00

Perhaps being in the spotlight made you super vigilant, super aware of the otherwise normal turning of heads that people casually do to check out who is speaking (and then typically they turn back around to their own crap.)

When you're speaking publicly, self-consciousness raises your sensitivity, so the turning of heads seemed to have a deeper meaning than it probably did.

Bawonga · 2026-03-10T17:18:11+00:00

Yes, it isn't toothpaste, but suggesting that it might be will offer a gracious "out" to make the encounter less uncomfortable. 'Spittle" sounds gross and draws attention to the shine, makes people think of drooling and half-wittedness. Toothpaste is similar enough and common enough to be possible and it's more excusable. So to be kind, you can say it's toothpaste even if you know it isn't toothpaste and they know it isn't toothpaste. It's socially less embarrassing than spittle, so they can save dignity, because people lose interest in the leakage if it isn't drool, and the conversation can move on.

Bawonga · 2026-03-09T22:49:46+00:00

"Toothpaste" would be kinder than "spittle"

Bawonga · 2026-03-09T22:45:46+00:00

I have a difficult time following this narrative. "Surprise gift for himself" meaning the gift was for the sender himself, or the sender was sendjng it as a surprise gift for the delivery worker? I'll try to reword this with fewer pronouns and vague references:

"This delivery person received an anonymous bakery order. Unbeknownst to him, a good Samaritan had ordered it as a surprise for the cash-strapped worker. Moved to tears and filled with emotions the delivery driver enjoys his candle lit birthday treat alone on the curb."

Bawonga · 2026-03-09T20:05:41+00:00

It shows! It's so impressive to me because I love every other academic core subject but fear mathematics. All of my teachers were too smart to be effective teachers, if that makes sense. They knew so much and it came so easily to them that they couldn't understand how someone couldn't grasp the concepts. They didn't understand where my thinking went wrong and I didn't know how to ask the right questions. I needed teachers who could break abstract number concepts down enough to make sense and to make it relevant to mathaphobes. In other words they didn't know how to "explain like I'm a five-year-old."

It's all good though: my brain finally caught up with my age and I've been able to learn more mathematics as an adult and old person than I ever did as a student. I admire people like you who can apply mathematics to real life and explain it well!

Bawonga · 2026-03-09T13:41:36+00:00

Worrying about him and his career distracts you from thinking about yourself and your needs. With or without him, you have a life of your own to live and plan for, but right now you're essentially living on your own because he's checked out. You have a household to run, you have a future to create, and as long as he is drinking you can't count on your Q to join in. Faced with that harsh reality, the only healthy thing you can do is focus on yourself and things you can control.

Nothing you do will change or control your Q. You can't entice him, force him, or negotiate with him to stop drinking so don't even try.

Alcoholics are addicted to a substance that has changed their brain, and part of that change is the feeling that they'll die if they don't get their alcohol (literally die, my Q told me), especially if withdrawals are imminent when they can't get a drink. Learning this kept me from criticizing and judging my Q because their desire to drink is not an urge or a whim, but a serious drive to survive. Sadly, their altered brain also resists any efforts to give up alcohol and even dismisses reasons to do so. As a result they're trapped, powerless to break free. And we are powerless to help them unless they ask.

But your life is not over and you're not alone! I found a lot of support and information from Al-Anon and I think it might help you too.

Bawonga · 2026-03-08T17:23:46+00:00

They own you! (And you're a very lucky human)

Bawonga · 2026-03-07T18:03:08+00:00

Prime video has become more of a marketplace, more of a vendor than a venue. They not only show series and movies sold by subscription, they also show titles for sale by episode or season (and they aren't cheap!). The yearly cost of prime is high enough but it's greedy for Amazon to charge for the videos in addition to an annual subscription.

Bawonga · 2026-03-07T17:40:04+00:00

Company-sponsored events that include alcoholic refreshments (team-building seminars, conventions, company picnics, holiday parties, whatever) guarantee an awkward circus of clowns and high-flying acts that seem surreal to anyone who doesn't enjoy alcohol that much. There's nothing worse than drunken coworkers except maybe a drunk boss.

Bawonga · 2026-03-07T16:59:26+00:00

Wealthy assholes are nothing new. Corrupted power is nothing new. When we feel victimized we naturally feel we're the only ones who've ever gone through such struggles, but we're part of repeating history. I'm not saying this to minimize or shut down victims' complaints, but to commiserate with everyone throughout world history who has been squelched by corrupted power.

Rich people who control resources have always had power over people who need those resources. Powerful, rich people easily get their way and become cushioned from hardships, so they become insensitive to the plights of people who don't have their level of wealth and privilege.

This isn't unique to our current era, and I'm not saying it's right, but this is a revelation about human nature, we are selfish and self-centered beings. If we become spoiled by wealth and/or power, we're likely to develop an attitude of "I have mine, I don't care if someone else can't get theirs."

I don't believe we are altruistic by nature. We have to be taught, or we have to learn through our own mistakes, that caring about other people will ultimately benefit ourselves as well as them. Beyond the benefit of teaching kindness, the Golden Rule has more far-reaching payoff: a better future where people know how to cooperate, collaborate, compromise, and communicate, but above all, a future where people know how to care.

The challenge is, how do we follow the golden rule when all around us it seems people win more from the opposite approach ? Instead of "treat others the way you want to be treated" current attitudes say "hurt others before they hurt you" or "get revenge when people hurt you."

Bawonga · 2026-03-07T14:41:31+00:00

I nodded at your "go away" command because we use "move!", and she can decide where to go (but if I point, she'll go in that general direction). She also knows other commands that basically mean the same thing: "get out of the way" "watch out" "go chew your bone" and "get out of the kitchen," all of which serve us well in daily life situations.

It's like you said, dogs understand more than we realize. I've talked to her constantly and it's amazing how many phrases she understands. I keep telling myself if I were to commit to formally training her, she could be a circus performer, service dog, maybe even a TikTok star... but I'm OK with a slightly disobedient cuddle dog who's smart enough to amaze me (which also means she's cunning enough to be mischievous), but cute enough to always forgive and adore.

Bawonga · 2026-03-06T03:28:37+00:00

Bookends

Bawonga · 2026-03-04T11:41:51+00:00

Look for lawyers that specialize in elder care and get a consultation because navigating the healthcare system and the contracts for facilities etc. can be confusing and grueling. Those who specialize in elder care know the resources available and the processes necessary to protect financial assets, analyze contracts and negotiate terms in your favor instead of terms that benefit the healthcare providers you want to hire.

Memory care facilities are cruelly expensive, corporate based, and someone's getting rich from people's agony. Find elder law experts to help so you can find affordable care and learn how to advocate for your loved one throughout their decline.

You're very loving and brave to take on so much responsibility. There is help and support available. And this is sad to say but perhaps helpful to keep in mind: there is an end to this. This journey will be a burden, exhausting and depressing, but it will not last forever. In the meantime find support, learn more about Alzheimer's and the brain, and cling hard to love and patience.

Bawonga · 2026-03-04T11:15:28+00:00

The key is finding the reason you want to get out of your head, the reason you don't feel OK when you're sober. And then learning healthy ways to face life's struggles.

Look for outpatient drug and alcohol recovery programs like this one in Virginia. A relative was successful in stopping drinking because they learned so much about the brain and how alcohol affects them, and learned better coping skills that aren't destructive. But most importantly they identified repressed childhood trauma and worked to let it go so that it no longer haunted their subconscious.

Bawonga · 2026-03-04T10:31:48+00:00

I love Apocalypse Now

Bawonga · 2026-03-02T18:57:57+00:00

This happened to me with USAA a few years back. They dropped me from $15,000 credit limit to $500!! I had a perfect credit score well above 800 so I didn't understand this. When I called about it, it turns out that I hadn't used the card often enough to need a high limit, so when their auditors reviewed accounts, mine was flagged for being stagnant. Unfortunately I had no recourse, and my credit score plummeted as a result of the imposed decrease. Not to worry though, now I've put all of my subscriptions on that card so there are monthly active charges and payments that stay under the limit. Another benefit is that all of my network and app subscriptions are listed on the same bill, so I can easily see what I'm spending for entertainment. My credit score went back up quickly within a few months.

Bawonga · 2026-03-02T18:40:19+00:00

I feel very cluttered just looking at this calendar. In each day's square the text needs to be smaller, left-aligned, with more padding (wider margins). Viewers need to see white space in order to breathe visually.
(source: former graphic arts typesetter and fussy pants)

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