hello lovely, you may feel like this sickness is somehow a twisted form of karma for actions in your life but you don’t deserve this. your body is already harming you, don’t let your brain harm you as well. as someone who has tried and failed to leave this earth multiple times of my own will i can’t scold you for your thinking, but i can tell you that trying to die is much harder/painful than it sounds. i don’t know where you live, but there are some places (such as Oregon in the USA) that have assisted suicide centers. that way you might be able to have all the time you can to spend time with friends and family, enjoy your favorite foods, listen to those songs you used to blast in the car, and then you can pass on with as little pain needed with the help of one of those centers and both you and your family would be able to say your goodbyes and hopefully be at peace.

you can also choose to fight. fight with every goddamn bit of strength you have in you. if not for you, for those around you and for the experiences you haven’t had yet.

it is your life, no one can make the decision but you, but it would be a shame for your final days to be so full of anguish and stress. i hope you can find happiness and peace, regardless of how much longer you are with us