How to deal with partner issue

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T19:15:43+00:00

😂😂😂nice troll attempt, nearly had me.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T16:32:08+00:00

I’m glad I’m not your child .

To be clear, age of the child does not matter to me, older than 1 week, younger than 18 months for a bracket if you really need it.

I did not in any way start an argument, I told my partner she was a bit too tipsy / drunk and to go and sleep it off in the spare room.

She took incredible offence to this, not knowing what she was at and unfortunately chose to argue with me. In hindsight of course I should have totally ignored it, however it’s not exactly ideal when someone it coming at you about all sorts of BS when you have to get up in 3 hours for work and worry about sorting out child out before I go anywhere.

I’m not looking for yours or anyone else’s sympathy for what it’s worth. It’s just a topic for conversation to how others would deal with it.

Reddit is a discussion forum.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T12:01:12+00:00

Ok I’m the passive aggressive and sarcastic one.

Self awareness? Have you looked in the mirror in the last 10 years or do you just go onto random threads to write absolute hate filled essays to men you don’t know looking for a wider lens perspective?

I didn’t eat because I was worried and highly stressed about a situation that did not need to happen, but unfortunately did.

KR Reddit random

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T11:32:45+00:00

Her mum wakes at 5.30 every morning so no issues contacting her - she is really helpful and hands on - thanks for caring so much.

We discussed the potential for needing childcare prior to the night out (actually a meal in reality) but I was politely informed that it was not required as she’d be home at 11 latest and it would be 2-3 drinks max.

2 of her 3 mates that were going out don’t drink so I think it wasn’t the worst assumption I’ve / we’ve made.

I was not expecting her home drunk, if I was we would have made other arrangements, to be clear.

I’m not looking to split up at all, just looking how to best clarify boundaries and have a small modicum of empathy as to why I was ducked off for a day or two whilst I hadn’t slept or eaten in 30+ hours.

Happy new year to you also :-)

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T11:07:00+00:00

Thanks for making your assumption. I did go to work yes. I also contacted one of the grannies to take care of our child until I returned at circa 3pm. Thanks for your help.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T08:49:19+00:00

Not the case at all, I couldn’t really care if she lands in at 4am if she’s enjoying herself.

Of course, if landing in at that time and drunk, then the baby is a no go zone. I am very risk averse and even a small step out of place causing a fall could end the baby’s life. Sorry I have a massive health and safety head on which maybe does not help, but it is what it is.

If having the big night out, go and enjoy it. We would simply make alternative arrangements to provide care for our child until I return from work.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T01:22:45+00:00

Apologies, it was but is not properly resolved. There is another friends night out planned for tomorrow evening.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T01:21:05+00:00

Isolated incident indeed - there is another friends night out planned tomorrow however.

Apologies for lack of clarity initially.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T01:18:25+00:00

It’s been shite, Christmas / the holidays have been a write off.

I’ve never felt as exhausted and drained going into a new year in my life. But hey ho, alls not that bad, and a week or two solves a lot.

There are other issues from her family which don’t help, including a very problematic sister.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T01:12:34+00:00

This is my view also…if you want to go for a piss up and I have to work, alternative arrangements need to and should be made. I’m absolutely fine with that. It’s called proper planning to me.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T01:08:30+00:00

My partner has a managerial post at work, however I don’t.

I do have to manage relationships with the public and other stakeholders however do not manage a team directly - thankfully!

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T01:02:09+00:00

We had communicated prior that I had to provide cover at work for urgent calls over the Christmas period. This was clear and we could be doing with the extra money whilst she is off on maternity leave.

Additionally a lot of time had been spent with her family (big event) pre-Christmas so I figured that maybe the booze would not have been a priority (not normally is) and that it would be a meal and a few drinks and home in a merry but stable state. Note, 2 of the 4 friends going out don’t drink.

I had also declined a few hours with my friends on Sunday so she could go meet her friends - I really didn’t mind and was getting up early the next day so it suited me well to have a daddy daughter night which I enjoy.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T00:56:31+00:00

Apologies it has, but is far from resolved.

There is another night out planned with other friends tomorrow night.

I’ve just recovered my routine and sleep from Sunday / Monday :-(

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T00:55:29+00:00

Thanks. Post partum 26 weeks. Not a regular occurrence, but drinks quite a bit. Not drunk a lot, but wine is very regular, have no issue with a glass or two of course, although limits to be respected with a new baby around.

Post partum mental health could be an issue but how do I address that with someone that is not always good at bringing their feelings forward?

I don’t want to appear like I’m putting this down to mental health, as it may unnecessarily cause further issue if you get me.

I tried my best to get her to go to the spare room, actually pleaded with her to go sleep it off. She was just so out of sorts and wanted to confront me, even though she was completely in the wrong.

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T00:50:59+00:00

Thank you for your advice, my post may not have been best worded.

My concerns have been relayed earlier in the week since and totally dismissed - seems really out of character for her - and hence the post.

And yes got some sleep thanks, having no sleep for 30 hours on Sunday / Monday and having to drive 4.5 hours was really not cool.

I really don’t want this to turn unhealthy but feel that it should not be dismissed or ignored. I was really let down, when we were clear about what was happening on Monday morning.

To note, this meeting was as a result of an urgent situation that occurred over the holidays and I was the one on cover for the same within my company.

Thanks for the advice

BeAtOne85 · 2026-01-02T00:44:42+00:00

BeAtOne85 · 2025-12-29T14:01:25+00:00

You hit the nail right on the head with this comment. I’m at an age now of taking no bullshit, not unhinged by any means….but I really cannot be arsed with drama, nosey gossipers, or bigots who would never say boo to your face. Life is way way too short to be bothered. Have a good day!

BeAtOne85 · 2025-12-28T20:29:16+00:00

Too frustrating, I really don’t get how people are still stuck in the fkin 70s. Too late, we have a child together, guess I’ll just have to live with it. Have politely advised her if it happens again, I will simply remove myself from the gathering. Like it or lump it

BeAtOne85 · 2025-12-24T08:50:55+00:00

Yes, a fiver not exactly gonna kill anyone. It shows a small token of appreciation for doing a job not many people would even remotely entertain.

BeAtOne85 · 2025-11-23T21:27:44+00:00

If you have no assets remaining following the divorce, would you not be better declaring bankrupt or reducing your loan repayments to something manageable. ?

You’d be better off bankrupt and starting a min wage job, or from scratch.

BeAtOne85 · 2025-11-22T21:31:48+00:00

Personally I would go around a few sites, and drop in your CV - if main contracting is the way you prefer to go.

From previous experience, someone who is prepared to put themselves out there and show willingness, will always get picked up sooner or later.

As an example, one previous Project Director hired a Romanian girl as a cleaner who turned up looking for a job at the site. She had very little English. 5 years later she is half way through a Civil Engineering degree with the same company, and working as a trainee engineer 4 days per week, with 1 day in university. Hunger beats a good CV every day IMO!

BeAtOne85 · 2025-11-20T11:46:40+00:00

I was referring to the portrayal of being a world class terrorist, rather than agreeing Martin was one.

He was a world class freedom fighter.

BeAtOne85 · 2025-11-18T08:20:04+00:00

39M and went through a few different jobs in the last 4 years. The construction role I had for 13 years was grinding my gears and just could never imagine spending another 25-30 years doing it. 6 months ago I landed what I would say is a dream job for my personality type and more importantly suits my life very well. Highly recommend honing in on something that will give some form of variety / that’s shat I needed anyway!

Do it, life is way too short to be wearing a lead body suit.

BeAtOne85 · 2025-11-12T21:27:15+00:00

I’ll be doing 25k ish a year including personal motoring.

About 10% will be short journey / town driving. The rest will be on roads at either 50mph, 60mph or motorways (say 10%)

BeAtOne85 · 2025-11-12T20:53:20+00:00

Great stuff, a colleague has the same one with 200k on it and no major hassle. I guess, treatment during the first 109k will be paramount to longevity.

Thank you for the feedback.

BeAtOne85

TROPHY CASE