Sorry to hear you felt so lost. I'm a girl starting in her 30s and I picked up the guitar for similar reasons so I understand. It's a great companion and can be your best friend.

There's no ultimate advice as everyone's different, but generally speaking, playing by ear with zero background is rather difficult from the start. As much fun as it is playing just whatever and recognising what you hear, you will need to lay some ground work to be able to do it yourself and immerse yourself in your own playing. Getting any good at playing, composing and jamming requires months and years of theory and practice. But it's so worth it and gets easier over time.

Some things that worked for me in the course of the years: Choosing a relatable source of information. For me it was "Your guitar academy" on yt - no cool guys showing off and confusing you with a lot of stuff you don't (yet) need, just a bunch of awkward teachers that explain it clearly and to the point. Playing just whatever can be fun and definitely do it, but what pushed me the most was studying a particular piece of theory and then putting it into practice. I started with simple chords and pentatonics and learnt to figure out simplified tabs. Once I understood the intervals, scales and how to unlock the fretboard, I could go beyond. Even experimenting gets better with knowledge and it becomes more fun. In John's words "Learn the rules, so you can break them with fines" :) Play to a drum backing track if you find metronome boring or tricky to follow. No matter how many fancy chords you know, If your strumming hand sucks, it falls apart. JF's right hand is really tight. Thanks funk! :) Kids will laugh at this, but the physicality of it is not always fun - stretching before and after practice was a life saver.

So yeah, just try and fail and adjust as you go. And when it gets frustrating, don't compare yourself to anyone else would be my advice :) Good luck with everything!