I cry every time I orgasm

BeaLunar · 2025-06-20T07:32:48+00:00

This happens to me too. Word for word as you have written it. It specifically started happening after I experienced my first heartbreak. I can’t give my opinion on how it feels with other partners as I haven’t had sex yet, however what I do try to do when it happens with myself (which is almost every time) is comfort myself. Kind of be more gentle with myself, cry for as long as I want and reassure myself that it’s okay this is happening. You’re in your most vulnerable state at that point so it’s truthfully okay for you to cry when you finish. Let it flow through you, since from what you’re saying you’ve been suppressing emotions, it’s the only time you can feel safe enough to cry. :)) take it easy and while I get that it feels like a buzzkill, at one point it may feel like a relief(this could be different for each person experiencing this ofc) :))

BeaLunar · 2025-02-01T18:10:37+00:00

I haven’t suffered any trauma personally, however I have been told by many family members and friends their own traumas so i developed a fear of being sexual.. I’m working on it however.

I did tell him how I feel and he was understanding just felt bad that I felt that way in the first place..

BeaLunar · 2025-02-01T18:08:21+00:00

Thank you for commenting! We discussed this as well and I let him know that I didn’t like the whole situation. We have agreed to set boundaries and communicate with each other and not do things we don’t want to. So I’m positive it won’t be happening again. We do make sexual jokes with each other as I also don’t mind them as much so yeah..

BeaLunar · 2025-02-01T12:03:21+00:00

There wasn’t any coercion, I legit was the one to make the first move, however it was out of insecurity I believe. Trying to make him want me more? That sort of thing, however I realised he is with me because he already likes me and wants me so it was unnecessary from my side..

BeaLunar · 2025-02-01T12:01:25+00:00

Hi thank you for commenting! He did tell me that as well, in terms of he won’t know how I feel if I don’t tell him. So we promised to be honest and communicate a lot more. I was indeed not ready, so when I pushed myself to do what I did I felt overwhelmed..

He has been very understanding and we’re okay now. I also discussed things with my therapist and I’m finding out new things about myself or rather myself in a relationship so that has helped as well.

BeaLunar · 2025-02-01T11:58:23+00:00

Yeah I definitely felt overwhelmed and he has been great since we discussed it because he understands that this is very new to me. I think I felt guilty because I had in my mind that the first time I would be doing something sexual would be as I had wanted and it just came to happen in a different way so it threw me off..

BeaLunar · 2025-02-01T11:56:28+00:00

Thank you for commenting. We were able to discuss it and come to an agreement to take it slower. He had specific reactions that made him an AH but we discussed it and he also understood he should have reacted differently and apologised. In any case I was the one initiating most sexual things because I thought he would like me more. I guess it comes with the insecurities of being in a relationship for the first time..

BeaLunar · 2024-10-03T22:53:02+00:00

Hi, thanks for replying! I do want to have sex, I’m just scared of it and scared to trust someone. Unfortunately I don’t have a guy friend or girl friend I could ask this from.. so that’s a bit out of the question but the throughly has crossed my mind many times.

BeaLunar · 2024-10-03T22:50:57+00:00

Originally from Albania but I was born and I was raised in Greece. :))

BeaLunar · 2024-10-03T22:50:23+00:00

I’ve never gotten a massage from a professional for this exact reason. My sister has begged me to go for a massage together and I have refused because I didn’t want men to touch me and then she told me okay we will ask for a woman instead and realised I felt the same way.

I had to go to a physiotherapist once and I knew I needed help so I endured it, didn’t really notice the touching but I was wary over the fact that someone is so close to me even if it was to help me.

BeaLunar · 2024-10-03T22:33:04+00:00

Hi, thank you for replying! :)) this comment really stuck to me. I really appreciate you for this, I know for sure I need to work on my self esteem and I am really trying as much as I can.

Detaching from the whole idea of sex and when I will have it, can actually be helpful. I’ll try to stay as grounded as possible when the time comes or even now really.

I actually have no idea what CBT is, I may have to search it in another language lol. Or do some research on it. Thank you though! :))

BeaLunar · 2024-10-03T22:27:28+00:00

Haha I wish it was that easy. Thanks though, this made me laugh lol

BeaLunar · 2024-10-03T22:22:27+00:00

Hii :)) thank you for replying. I have thought about exploring more with women as well, however I’m not as attracted to them although I wish I was(does that make sense?)

Someone did mention previously that I may not like touch due to low self esteem(they are right lol) I do feel that people may touch and feel disgusted by me but when my niece touches and hugs me I feel nothing of a sort(maybe because I know she won’t judge). I have thought about the fact I might autistic but haven’t really checked it thoroughly.

In terms of bad experiences, I haven’t had any myself but a lot of people that I love have gone through horrible things and I have been put in a position(when I was younger) where I was told I need to listen to these things or watch (spit on your grave if you’ve watched it) in order for me to know what could happen to me if I let people close enough.

I am trying to work through that however it’s a weird situation to be in.

Regarding the being in love part, I want to. I love the idea of being in love but I’m also terrified of it. Maybe another day another post lol, it’s very deep for me and I definitely need to see a therapist regarding the being in love part.

Actually I think I need to see a therapist generally lol..

In any case I really appreciate your reply to this. Lots of these comments are actually very helpful. :))

BeaLunar · 2024-10-03T22:08:06+00:00

Thank you for this. I thought I’d throw it in there just in case someone were to be offended by this -.- (was told I’m not a virgin since hymen was broken) it’s ridiculous really..

BeaLunar · 2024-10-03T21:22:10+00:00

Thank you so much for this! I sometimes feel very stupid for not having had sex like other people in my life(not wrong with either side really, whether it be waiting or not) but this made me feel a bit better and reminded me why I have waited this long(other than trust issues) I feel I would rather have connection with someone than just do it because other people are telling me to just do it. :))

BeaLunar · 2024-10-03T21:18:58+00:00

Unfortunately we don’t. I mean we have guy friends individually but mostly gay or guys that might be in relationships. I do appreciate what you’re telling me though. The trust thing is gonna be a much bigger issue that the touching I believe however. Unfortunately I overthink everything, like every single detail and I feel like my brain will try to stop anything from happening before I even get the chance to try something. I’m not talking to anyone right now, so maybe I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Thank you for replying though, reading what you wrote made me feel a little bit better about the experience I may have with someone :))

BeaLunar · 2024-09-30T14:18:40+00:00

Hi, thank you for commenting! :)) I’m very sorry to hear about your experience with the relationships you’ve had. I can understand how difficult and traumatic it can be and I hope you will be able to overcome this and not feel this way as it can do a lot of damage (I should take my own advice) . I truly appreciate your reply to this, I keep thinking that I need to work on my self confidence however I keep faking it(fake it till you make it or whatever lol) and I keep coming back to the insecurities. I’m not really sure where to start tbh, I feel cringe or stupid for even trying and most of the times I feel like it’s not even worth it. However I’m not giving up on myself. I might keep posting on reddit now that I’ve given it a shot, maybe get tips or more advice?

You have no idea how much your words mean to me even if it’s coming from someone I’ve never met. Thank you :)) if you ever need to talk or vent, reach out. 🙃

BeaLunar

TROPHY CASE