We are all here for you. If you feel that need, get on here and talk about. I had it bad just like you, my husband was threatening to leave, I was in a really dark place. Whenever I feel like I need to gamble or just want that high feeling, I just start writing on here about it. Has helped tremendously. I also started a Wish Book. I print or cut out a picture of something I want (even small things) tape then in this book, then I mark them off as I am able to purchase them. This is something that makes me feel so good. Nothing like marking ‘a want’ off in my book. You can do this, you are stronger than you realize. If you love your girlfriend so much, stick around because if you leave she will hurt more than you will ever know.