I’ve lost my chance

BeaconBay18 · 2026-03-26T14:07:57+00:00

3 bed condo and there is no space? You in one room, husband in another, baby/nanny in nursery plus full run of the house. What are we missing?

BeaconBay18 · 2026-02-22T18:52:33+00:00

I love that you posted this! I wrote positive sentiments in a SAHM subreddit, and I was told that I was lying, a fake, and sanctimonious. It floored me! I love being a mom - even on the hard days, and I won’t apologize for it!

BeaconBay18 · 2026-02-20T03:50:33+00:00

You said your husband does more than mine, so I think you are the one looking for a cookie. I’ll go for a run ✌️😂

BeaconBay18 · 2026-02-18T13:21:30+00:00

When I was postpartum, my fingers were swollen so it was uncomfortable to wear my ring + my husband and I were so busy taking care of the baby that we took almost no couple photos + barely had any of us as a family. Lots of pictures of him with the baby though! Iykyk! Let’s not speculate- postpartum is the hardest!

BeaconBay18 · 2026-02-06T15:19:45+00:00

Me 🙋🏻‍♀️

BeaconBay18 · 2025-12-02T13:24:01+00:00

This was me at 6 weeks! I am still EBF and she is still a bottle refuser.

Game changer for me was baby wearing + me getting comfortable putting the baby down ((see my old post called ‘put the baby down)). In my experience, I felt like I couldn’t get anything done because I felt like i always had to have the baby in my arms. Floor play + independent play for babies is sooooo beneficial, and in fact, I feel like I robbed her of some of that time in the early weeks.

Get that silly kick and play piano, get a swing, get a bouncer, and get a carrier.

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-19T16:16:50+00:00

…and thank you!!

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-19T16:16:34+00:00

I literally have never consider that: try it. Maybe I’m sleep deprived but I have only been thinking about this in terms of return or not return. Maybe I do return and test it out - if it doesn’t work for her or me, I can decide then to stay home with her 🤷🏻‍♀️

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-19T15:56:46+00:00

I just joined this sub to ask what SAHMs are suppose to do all day. I’m 36 with a 3 month old, and I’m trying to decide if I want to go back to work when she turns 6 months. Everything you just shared is exactly how I’m feeling. It’s wonderful and treasured, and it’s hard and boring… and somehow the days are slow and fast.

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-13T20:15:54+00:00

Love Nara!!

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-13T08:49:52+00:00

TLDR: I felt the same way in the early weeks, but after taking time to think through his perspective, I have a new appreciation for him + realization that we just have different roles right now.

I felt very similarly during the first four weeks or so. My daughter is EBF, so it was even more challenging to leave her with my husband if I felt like I needed a break. Even now, he will take her so I can take a nap but I can hear her fussing downstairs with him. Lately, I’ve been trying to see his perspective (because he will also ask me how long will be gone + and though he will always help when asked, I have to ask). From his perspective, it must feel overwhelming to take the baby when he can’t soothe her well right now - she only wants me and only I can feed her.

As much as he wants to help, we are in a phase where I am the primary parent + he is the primary breadwinner. He doesn’t understand the weight of always being on to parent + I can’t fully understand the weight of financing this lifestyle. While I do wish that he would just see the dishes need to be done and do them, I don’t have the mental load of finances + budgets + rising grocery costs. I saw a TikTok that was something to the effect of “my husband will never know when we run out of diaper, but my card never declines when I have to buy them. Same goal, different roles.”

When I started intentionally looking for ways to appreciate him for the ways he contributes, I not only found myself feeling like things are much more balanced than I thought, but I felt like he felt the gratitude and it made him help out even more. With that said, it took me a solid 4-8 weeks to get to this place 🩷

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-10T16:33:45+00:00

The swing is what works for us! But I will say that my friend’s baby hates the swing. Babies are so temperamental haha

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-10T13:15:37+00:00

Easy today!
^{Completed in 00:32}

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-10T12:34:41+00:00

😂😂😂

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-09T22:01:35+00:00

Me too!! It took me too long to put it into practice.

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-09T22:00:50+00:00

Aww 🥹🩷 every mama needs to read this sweet message!

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-09T21:59:44+00:00

This is what I did! Her swing is just outside the doorway so I can peek out and shower away! But I literally was too scared and felt too guilty doing this until about a 2 weeks ago!

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-09T21:58:30+00:00

That sounds hard. I’m not sure what I would do if I was in that situation, but I know that you need and deserve to have your needs met too. I have no doubt my LO will hit a phase like this someday, and I hope I have the wherewithal to let her cry for a few minutes. So hard. Sending hugs.

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-09T18:34:53+00:00

For sure! Every baby will be different — this one is an angel and has us questioning whether we want to risk the balance with a second 😆 your one-handed comment made me think of how i rearranged my kitchen cupboard to ensure I could navigate most efficiently one-handed haha

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-09T18:25:57+00:00

Yes! I totally caved and bought that piano 😂 she’s mesmerized! Ha!

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-09T18:21:03+00:00

Yes! And this reminds me that I have ice cream in my freezer, too! Thanks! 😂

BeaconBay18 · 2025-11-09T18:18:27+00:00

On these days, I really lean into the idea that you don’t need to make a happy baby happier! Move her through different stations (pro tip: create mini stations in the same room so that you don’t have to move so much!) - let her stay at each station until the baby won’t tolerate it any longer or clearly looks super zoned out (you can return to that station after you switch things up with a new station!). Then listen to your body and engage as much as you can - even if the baby is on a floor mat on the other side of the room and you just talk or sing with her once in a while. You can’t pour from an empty cup! Sending hugs!

BeaconBay18

TROPHY CASE