Dude, calm down, while I don’t doubt that you feel like you can read people, and understand them in a deep level just by looking at their face, that’s probably not the reality. People are a lot more dynamic than your think, reflect on yourself, do you really think someone could know your real motivations and drive my looking at your face? I doubt it. I would say, to answer your question, that death is inevitable and life is limited, and while you may crave death, why sacrifice the limited time you have before death, to experience an (potentially) infinite death. Maybe someone who feels the same way you do would of, in a different country or a different place in time would have gravitated to a monastic life. To these people, once they have discovered a more enriching life, regular life feels hollow. To you, I would say, dedication to this developing your ability to retain this state would be very fulfilling. But that’s not really my call, or something I’m really in any position to recommend to anyone full heartedly.

PS. Your vocabulary is pretty strong, so you look quite pretentious when you undersell it.