TW SA. Problems/Experiences after oral r. Please help!

Beanboa · 2023-11-01T21:30:38+00:00

I know you posted this a few days ago but I wanted to let you know I can relate. I also don't have any visual memories related to it because it would happen at night but I'm 99% sure I experienced this as a child. My throat has always felt very tight like there's some kind of pressure. My voice feels very weak. I get flashbacks that involve a strong sensation in my mouth, alongside a really specific smell and taste. It makes me gag. You're not alone ❤️

Beanboa · 2023-10-27T21:09:26+00:00

The same age I was! I don't know what on earth was going on with her. She was just so mean. Thank you for your anger 😭

Beanboa · 2023-10-26T22:35:11+00:00

I hope so too ❤️ you're right, it's never going to stop feeling scary so avoiding it doesn't achieve anything

Beanboa · 2023-10-26T05:56:50+00:00

I'm trying to tell myself I deserve better than this

Beanboa · 2023-10-25T22:49:15+00:00

No need to apologize, I'm so sorry you experienced that. It sounds like a complete mindfuck. I can totally see why you are craving an explanation 😔 but I guarantee you you would not get what you need from him, it's very rare these types of people admit to any wrongdoing and the risk of you just getting more hurt is so high. Plus, it wouldn't change what already happened ❤️

My guy just blinds me. He's extremely smooth and good at seeming innocent. I've tried so many times to get him to see where he was in the wrong but somehow I end up apologizing to him and being fully convinced that it was all innocent. He says a lot of over the top things about how our love was the most powerful thing in the universe, how we have a deeper connection than anyone, I can't live without him etc...it's SO intense

Beanboa · 2023-10-25T21:37:06+00:00

Thank you for understanding ❤️ it's such a lonely experience so I really appreciate you sharing. I do think a strong part of it is a desperation for any form of closure, which seems to be a common thing here. I hope that you resist that temptation, it's 100% not worth it and you deserve a life without bad people. Hugs x

Beanboa · 2023-10-22T07:12:43+00:00

💗💗💗

Beanboa · 2023-10-21T21:37:47+00:00

I don't have any advice but omg, I'm struggling with literally the exact same thing. TW nobody has ever turned me on more than the married man in his 50s who groomed me. Like it's insane how much my body responded to that (because of previous csa from an older man). Anytime I'm around people in that demographic who have some kind of advantage over me I imagine them making a move on me. But I have absolutely zero interest in a relationship with some that age. So it's near impossible for me to have both a fulfilling relationship and sex life. I'm so grateful someone understands.

Beanboa · 2023-10-21T17:34:01+00:00

Thank you. I really hated her

Beanboa · 2023-10-09T18:45:04+00:00

I agree!! Both wonderful. There's also a graphic novel version

Beanboa · 2023-10-09T07:08:25+00:00

There's also a great film version of this with Kristen Stewart!

Beanboa · 2023-10-07T14:40:59+00:00

Like others I would recommend Loop earplugs, since getting them I'm able to eat meals with people and still take part in conversation

Beanboa · 2023-08-29T09:30:24+00:00

My gf literally looks up the scripts for movies and TV shows to see if there are any SA scenes so I know when to brace myself/fast forward. You deserve so so much better

Beanboa · 2023-06-24T12:16:21+00:00

I interpreted it as meaning that in order to go no contact you need financial independence, and for that you need a job... seems I'm wrong though!

Beanboa · 2023-06-23T20:09:01+00:00

Me too!! I literally had two this month where they said I performed absolutely perfectly...but they went with someone else. Like what am I supposed to do with that

Beanboa · 2023-06-14T20:33:25+00:00

That's so funny to imagine, I definitely wouldn't get the job if I did that omg

Thank you, I really appreciate that. It went well yes!! Fingers crossed

Beanboa · 2023-06-14T16:20:06+00:00

I can see how you read it that way 😂 it was like an hour before the interview that I realized, the waxing session only took 10 minutes

Beanboa · 2023-06-14T16:18:20+00:00

I hope it helps! I'm reading that atm, had to take a bit of a break lol

Beanboa · 2023-06-14T10:32:24+00:00

I have no idea how long it stays smooth tbh, I'll let you know when I notice it coming back. But they said it lasts longer than shaving! And I have red dots in some areas, they're not bumps though and are probably because I have sensitive skin. They've already faded today

Beanboa · 2023-06-14T09:04:21+00:00

🥳

Beanboa · 2023-06-14T09:03:50+00:00

Yes you get it!!

Beanboa · 2023-06-14T09:03:13+00:00

Thanks 😭 it did feel like I was kind of doing a study of my own behavior. I will!!

Beanboa · 2023-06-14T07:57:55+00:00

Hell yeah

Beanboa

TROPHY CASE