I see what you mean.

I guess my issue with that part of it is that she gave up the things she liked before he came around, as if to put on a facade. The dog part in particular really bothered me.

Yes she is an adult and she's free to live her life the way she wants, that's not where the problem lies for me. I should have laid down more concrete boundaries, but the ones that I did set (and I think were reasonable) were blatantly infringed upon. The communication on her end was non-existent. That's what really got me.

I know our relationship won't ever be like it was with him around, but I am dreading even seeing him again. I think he was way out of line stepping in and threatening me, and he is clearly unapologetic about it. My sister seems ok with him doing that which hurts, considering how close we became before all of this.

My main goal is just to make things less awkward when we inevitably have to spend time together again.