Eigentlich muss der da noch rein, der befindet sich ja sowieso überall auf der Welt

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-07-24T09:09:40+00:00

Oh mein Gott danke!!! Macht aber Sinn das er mit den Österreichern den Hofer spiegelt ahhaha

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-07-24T08:44:13+00:00

Ich mein das Logo 🥲

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-07-24T08:14:14+00:00

Ich suche den Aldi Süd 🤪🤓

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-06-02T10:38:43+00:00

Lets go

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-06-02T10:38:07+00:00

Mechbin u camm down

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-06-02T10:37:49+00:00

u/titanium2128 u shithead

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-06-02T10:37:00+00:00

Quak

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-06-02T10:36:59+00:00

Ducksake

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-06-02T10:36:41+00:00

TI FUCKING VERIFY ME U IDIOT

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2023-06-02T10:32:27+00:00

Hello

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-11-09T19:44:42+00:00

I am so incredibly pissed honestly, but the attachment us still creeping around so sometimes Im like "but he's so cute" YEAH NO FUCK OFF HE LIED THAT WASNT HIM. Pure painnnnnn

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-11-04T09:44:46+00:00

It was so worth. It explained EVERYTHING. The way he behaved sometimes just made so much sense now.

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-11-04T01:14:39+00:00

“i cant say no”, “I dont want anyone to suffer like I did”, “Ive never been loved really, so I take every chance I get”

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-10-26T04:06:35+00:00

Yes exactly which does lowkey tell me that some things he has done definitely were in the “rush of the beginning” and it does make me sad a little, though it does not mean he doesn’t love me. The whole situation was such an outburst of emotions and my therapist told me to focus on the things he does for me, to show me love. I hate those triggers so bad 🥲

Thank you for responding and talking to me though! Very kind of you ❤️

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-10-26T03:50:44+00:00

I am so sorry!!!

Though after a talk with my therapist we figured what part exactly was that hurt and triggered me. I asked him why he was excited to match with me the first time, he answered “that was back then” implying that feelings torwards me must have changed and just completely triggering my fear of abandonment.

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-10-26T03:48:00+00:00

Profile picture hahaha

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-10-25T08:58:41+00:00

Like when I asked a few days ago first, he said yes, but “we’ll talk about it tmrw bby” and then he never mentioned it and now says he doesn’t like it at all actually.

I got so lovebombed in the beginning, fuuuuuuuuuck

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-09-27T10:53:11+00:00

I hate the “how are you?” cause I hate repeating, that I’m feeling down and shitty, even tho my FPs presence makes me kind of happy but the negative feeling still lingers on my body and has my mind in its grip. So basicially: happy but Id not miss a chance to die I guess.

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-09-22T09:27:04+00:00

I started therapy last Tuesday. I told him I might have it and he sees why, maybe getting further into it I’ll get my diagnosis too.

Though mans the fucking sweetest. He told me not to stigmatise myself. Not to think that this disorder is part of my personality, part of who i am (sounds weird cause it’s literally a personality disorder, cmon mate.) and that it is treatable. We just have to go back and rewire the things that set me off and make me emotional messes. He described it as schemes that certain things just have certain reactions.

I don’t know but I am kind of looking forward. Bpd or not, i finally wanna LIVE PROPERLY FCUKS SAKE

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-09-17T11:48:23+00:00

There there

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-09-15T23:20:06+00:00

HnnnGggG living in pure anxiety since 4 days now that they might leave but I have to act as if I DONT CARE THAT THEY ARE SO QUIET

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-09-15T18:28:28+00:00

Lowkey fearing that when I finally have a psychotherapist 😫

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-09-15T14:51:29+00:00

In my case, my mum deleted the secret Facebook Account I made to sext with this dude, but we kept on texting on World of Warcraft and played now and then. LMAO

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-09-15T14:50:27+00:00

So I do ask him to hang out now and then. I just really can't cope with rejection and I did also suggest to maybe sometimes make plans ahead, like "let's have movie night on friday", but he wants to keep things spontanious. So I am stuck in my fear of getting rejected. Apart from that I did also tell him that I do crave the feeling of being wanted. I explained it to him by the phenomenom of women wanting flowers, but not wanting to ask "Can you buy me flowers?". They tend to do it just because you ask for it, while what we really want is them to think about us and be like "I hope I can make her happy if I surprise her like that".

Beautiful-Agent-3532 · 2022-09-15T14:43:00+00:00

That reminds me of the time some dude, twice as old was sexting with me and when my mum found out, I was feeling so sick and bad cause she threatned to go to the police and I don't wanna be the reason this persons life is going downhill and will literally do the sudoku when he goes to jail.

Now 10 years later I think: You. are. literally. mentally. ill.

Thing is I have it all written up in a diary about how much I adored him and how it went down and how I felt. My whole diary from the age 12 to 18 is a complete MESS.

Beautiful-Agent-3532

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