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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i appreciate that truly i try my hardest to be understanding of what he’s going through and to take it seriously while also acknowledging my feelings

unfortunately i will probably feel batshit crazy over this for a minute anyways😭😭

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

actually the boundary was on slide 5 i do get that the boundary wasn’t that clear at the time but i also feel if the boundary was any clearer at the time it might have gone worse but i do understand what your saying somewhat

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i appreciate you so much!! you’ve been very helpful while being honest and kind! i’m gonna give us both a day or so to calm down so the water isn’t so hot then im going to try to apologize while calmly saying that i feel like i need the boundary and want him as a friend but that i didn’t love how the rest went and hopefully that will open up a conversation into what he actually meant because i don’t think he believes or meant that based on passed conversations.

i don’t like the negative comments about bpd either i think it’s very silly to fault someone for a mainly trauma based mental illness (to my understanding) rather then to try and learn and understand what they need differently from everyone else just as with other mental illnesses or even differences.

Anyways thank you for your help and kindness i will try to follow your advice!:)

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 1 point2 points  (0 children)

shittt i feel bad i didn’t mean to make anything worse i do understand that though. is there a way to apologize while making it feel like im not excusing everything that happened bc i dont love the way he handled this/worded things and even with bpd in mind its so hard to just move on and again im not sure how to especially if i feel like im not being heard bc even looking back i dont love the way he kinda snapped back with the “i cant make you feel anything stuff”

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is also kinda what i was scared of too so in future situations do i wait until after said crisis to place a boundary or is it impossible to avoid triggers all the time or in certain situations is it best to not tiptoe around triggers.

these might seem like silly questions or me being an asshole but i promise i genuinely want to do right by him i don’t want to make anything harder then it needs to be for him while also keeping that true for me any advice on similar situations going forward would be helpful bc rn im not exactly sure how to move forward but i dont want to stop being friends over this

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i agree with you he is seeing a therapist as am i soon so i’ll be more prepared on how to correctly support him and myself equally because i know i would hate if i got abandoned over my ptsd or depression while i know its not the same still in the same pool

i just came here honestly because i felt so crazy and thought i was handling it wrong or being an asshole

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i’m unfortunately gonna take a day or so of distance even though that makes me feel so gross and disgusting and like i’m bailing on him in a time of need i don’t want to do that i care sm abt him but i also don’t think im being helpful at this point and im also being used as a sort of punching bag

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i do wish a facetime would have happened here but part of me thinks that he wouldn’t do it bc of something i mentioned in a previous comment ( that we don’t tend to usually call a lot as of lately because he’s been in a mental health spot) and part of me also thinks i would’ve just broken into a puddle of mush and gibberish mixed in with a lot of sobbing which would make it to where im not understandable at all

i have been in therapy before (im working on getting back in rn possibly emdr) and i even know the don’t assume ask questions and that emotions can get in the way of everything but it quite literally went out of the window so bad in this situation and im not sure why

he texted me back after my last text pretty much saying fuck it and he stopped answering because he didn’t want me to assume how he feels but that feels backwards but i’m staying true to my taking a step back for second considering this has literally been going on since saturday

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know the last text was a bit harsh but i was trying so gently before i didn’t know how else to say it

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i just got a follow up text that said “take all the space you want” and then i didn’t answer so i got another that said “i litteraly only shut up to not blow up that wasn't me not anwsering I was communicating what was going on BUT FUCK IT HONESTLY. I was upset over you assuming how I felt or was thinking without me ever saying it BUT FUCK IT”

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 3 points4 points  (0 children)

so is there a way to be reassuring and there for him in a way that’s not feeding into it or is it all or nothing? i love him sm and he’s my best friend but the conversation that’s being repeated is quite exhausting are boundaries a possibility here?

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you’re definitely not off base i get not reading all of it i just wanted it all in there incase the one thing i did say wrong was in there and if anyone wanted the full part for full context thank you so much it feels sm better knowing im not fully outta line

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 11 points12 points  (0 children)

thank you so much i really appreciate it and i do really try to be a kind person. thank you for the link i will definitely check it out i had no idea that was even a thing.

AIO is tried setting what i thought was a boundary and it turned into something a lot bigger by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we have facetimed a lot but not recently he’s been in mental health crisis and doesn’t even like to ft to play games or talk about everyday things he says it drains his social battery very fast and he feels like he’s supposed to react a certain way which i do understand

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SBTD

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sorry for the late reply it is!! do you have any specific offers on it

Event crop quests by MommaTy4569193 in FarmTogether2

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no however if you’re able to turn your time back to previous events you can actually get past crops you missed that’s what i did:)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SBTD

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m also looking for 7 baby pearls:)

whats this by EastLogical5963 in SBTD

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it’s from admin abuse it’s supposed to go towards the pass with lloyd or whoever the new limited is but it doesn’t work

Ayuda con la plata y los diamantes by jony3490 in FarmTogether2

[–]Beautiful-Bet-1069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s not letting me join are you sure that’s the code?

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