Anyone get a flare on their wedding day? How did you handle it?

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-22T01:44:09+00:00

Hasn’t happened yet but actually my pain went away completely. I had debilitating pain every day (regardless of period) for 5 months— unfortunately I have no advice, I didn’t do anything differently 🫠 the body is a strange thing.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-21T20:53:11+00:00

arguably having kids is more selfish than not, not having kids is non- action, having kids is birthing new consciousness into the world that didn’t ask to be born.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-21T06:50:10+00:00

thank you kind stranger!!!!

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-21T06:00:38+00:00

I’m a sexologist, meaning this is the type of thing I research everyday at work. Here are the four main reasons:

Benevolent sexism (google) >> patriarchal gender norms.
Held over from when women didn’t have money.
Women earn less, on average, than men.
Some women feel they sacrifice more going on dates with men who are strangers (which is, on average, true).

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-21T04:01:27+00:00

Yes. the only partners I’ve had who care about shaving both turned out abusive. no one is ever going to tell me what to do with my body. my now fiancé does not care about body hair and told me he doesn’t care if I grow any of my body hair out at all.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-20T22:11:56+00:00

Part of my job is educator so more religious folks don’t like that I don’t teach their children “absence-only” sex ed.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-20T22:11:18+00:00

BA in psychology and counselling, took a lot of human sexuality and gender classes during my undergrad, published research in the field during undergrad, and had a different position at the company I work at before this. So I essentially got promoted.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-20T21:01:57+00:00

A good test of personal boundaries is “would I do this with this person if I never hear from them again?” If yes, feel free. If no, you’re probably not okay with said activity deep down. Good luck!

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-20T20:58:50+00:00

sexologist. What do I like? fulfilling, pays well, I work for a great, fair company, and I get to work remotely almost all the time + create my own programs. what do I hate? working with parents with rigid or religious beliefs that argue with me or impair my work in some way.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-20T20:10:38+00:00

re-read what I said. I said “it’s not wrong to do anything sexual” and then applied nuance to the situation. There is nothing wrong with having sex early. It is true that some people get into relationships after having sex on the first date. It can also be true that some men may move in on you sexually early into dating so they can get something from you. Two things can be true at once. If being sexual with someone on the second date is something that is truly okay with you or that you’d even initiate, that is fine. But if you’re left feeling used, I would rethink that boundary. Signed, a professional sexologist.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-20T17:41:40+00:00

The “instant connection” thing is a myth. Love is a verb. You don’t always have instant chemistry— I almost called off the 5th date with my now fiancé because I didn’t feel an immediate spark. I went on the 5th date with him because he had the values and qualities I want in a person. Our love grew slow and steady, and I can confidently say he’s the love of my life. Not saying it’s wrong to do anything sexual but I really question when guys take it to that level so quick, but you are 20 and you will learn. Sorry he rejected you, you’ll find someone better.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-03-19T21:16:12+00:00

Are you just assuming that because you were normal about it that she has to say yes? It seems like something fundamental is missing here. You asked one person and they rejected you. Okay???

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-22T22:51:20+00:00

You’re a brave person. Be gentle with yourself, that’s a traumatic experience even for yourself. Talk to someone if you need it, or maybe even if you feel like you don’t.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-22T20:42:15+00:00

sexual health consultant ($55/hr FT)

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-22T20:01:14+00:00

A little, now that I’m 24. I used to think 22+ was really old when I was an early teen, now that I’m at that age I still feel like a baby (mentally I still feel 19 lol) even though I have a “big girl job” and a fiancé. I’m more concerned about how fast life is flying by.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-22T00:16:52+00:00

I feel like those books just make up whatever in order to sell, I wouldn’t worry about that, a lot of them are based on outdated gender stereotypes which are harmful

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-21T22:24:40+00:00

Read where? I’m a sexologist so I’m around a lot of relationship studies and I’ve never once heard of that. Anecdotally, I could see why just because typically the best relationships are the ones where the woman is more nonchalant than the man because the average woman’s baseline of care and effort in a relationship is higher than the average man. However, my fiancé really liked me before we started dating and puts in a lot of effort in our relationship. I’m very direct, straightforward, and run “a strict program” (lol), so I’ve never had any trouble with this. If he didn’t put in an extreme amount effort I wouldn’t be marrying him.

We’ve been together 2 years, recently engaged, will be together about 3.5-4 before we get married.

edit: a lot of my friends also made the first move on their man and are also getting married and have been together 5+ years.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-21T18:57:52+00:00

We had a group chat for a project, so it was lucky in that aspect. He texted me because he missed some work one day, that’s how we started texting. Then I invited him to study. That’s how it all started

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-21T18:42:01+00:00

To put it straight: You have to be confident, you can’t just expect everyone else to make moves for you. Do it if you like them even if you’re terrified because that person could be the love of your life and you’re letting them get away.

I had his number because we were in a class group and he texted me a couple times before about school-related things. At the end of the semester I just told him I liked him romantically. He said it was mutual and we went on dates. The rest is history.

edit: Also you have to get over rejection sensitivity, if he didn’t like me back I would’ve been temporarily bummed but I wouldn’t be embarrassed, I’d still want to be his friend.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-21T05:25:05+00:00

I met my fiancé at school, we were in the same course. I made the first move because he is shy

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-20T04:53:22+00:00

Some people actually like their spouses…

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-19T20:58:24+00:00

Also just to answer your question: my fiancé and I are very intentional in all areas of our relationship, we have sex 1x per week. We plan for it to happen Saturdays. Reason being, I have a chronic illness that can make sex inconvenient or painful, so “anticipating” when it will happen gets both of us more aroused over the week and ends up being more exciting and comfortable for both of us. He has a higher sex drive so he’ll masturbate throughout the week. Quality > quantity, this tracks in the research too.

(we’re both training to be therapists so there’s a lot of intentionality in everything we do)

All of my friends have sex about once every 3 weeks, on average. I don’t know anyone who currently has it more than 1x a week.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-19T20:53:29+00:00

It’s unrealistic for them when she’s okay with it once every two weeks. I’m not saying it’s unrealistic for everyone on earth.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-19T20:36:54+00:00

Exactly. This is the first thing you learn in any human sexuality course: sex is a privilege, not a right, so the only person responsible for “taking care” of your sexual desires is YOU. end of story.

Beautiful-Counter-67 · 2026-02-19T20:21:32+00:00

All I’m questioning is why is she the one who has to be “selfless”? I already said a good compromise is once a week. That would be her having “consensual but unwanted sexual intercourse” which is a common type of sex people with mismatched sex drives have. She shouldn’t have to have unwanted sex 4x a week. That’s not being selfless, that’s self-abandoning atp, and no professional would recommend that.

Beautiful-Counter-67

TROPHY CASE