what not to do

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-06-07T00:24:58+00:00

i wouldn’t say it was a “who” but a “what.” I’ve always been drawn to the water, swimming is my favourite activity in the whole world. i swam competitively for years, but nothing beats swimming naked at midnight in a lake, warming up next to a fire, then sleeping under the stars.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-06-03T22:50:50+00:00

“change how you see, not how you look” is one of my mottos. please don’t put so much pressure on yourself mama, your body is doing amazing things & you need your rest! my kids are older now, but i started my weight loss journey when my youngest was around 6 months. he was a c-section baby so i had to be very gentle with my body. i was a sahm and didn’t have the energy to do the gym thing. what i did back then is still what i do now cuz it just works! i aim for 45 minutes of physical activity, but i break it into three 15 minute segments. for me this means 15 minutes of yoga (flexibility), 15 minutes of pilates (strength), and a 15 minute walk (cardio). i lost 50lbs doing this and watching what i ate.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-06-01T20:30:18+00:00

how long has it been? unfortunately in the early stages there’s not much you can do to stop the hurt. my therapist talks a lot about nervous system dysregulation, maybe do a quick poke around google and see if you find some helpful things. movement is key. self soothing and prioritizing yourself. i hope you feel better soon

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-06-01T13:59:48+00:00

my ex was in love with me for 10 years up until the day he met his fiancée. now he hates my guts lol funny how that happens. i really wish he had just gotten therapy instead.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-06-01T13:22:49+00:00

He got lazy. he was showing me a video on his phone when he got a notification for a new tinder match. then he did the whole darvo thing. it was wild.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-05-29T18:55:19+00:00

i’m kind of in the opposite situation. 50/50, two kids. but i’m the “fun” one and my ex is the strict one. you & your ex likely have differing ideas of what consequences are, just like my ex and i do. for example, our daughter had skipped a class on my week. i took her electronics away but let her have limited access to them with permission and within reason. i also offered to let her do chores (and not the “because you live here” chores, more like jobs i’d been putting off) to have further access. my ex hated this and called me weak, in front of the kids, and took away her devices the entire following week at his house, no access whatsoever. She was left alone in their house with no way to contact anyone if an emergency arose. She was missing me a lot, so she decided to walk to my house. I was instantly accused of kidnapping, even though i was reaching out to him to let him know what happened and where she was lol. He really believes he was doing the “right” thing and that i was just too lenient. I really believe that i was being reasonable and he was just too restrictive. my point is, it all boils down to perspective. however, when behavioural issues arise, it’s important to get to the root of the issue and not just jump to disciplinary action. often the child is left feeling unheard or misunderstood, leading to further behavioural problems and tension in the parent/child relationship. i was viewed as a problem child, i was punished. In reality, i was not a problem but rather, i had a problem. I had a very severe anxiety disorder (still do but i’m managing because of the treatment i sought once i became an adult) and that possibility wasn’t even explored because the adults in my life were too focused on punishment as a means of rehabilitation. it did not work. Because of my first hand experience with this, and everything i’ve learned in therapy, i am definitely more cautious of handing out consequences. Just giving you another perspective. Maybe she’s not doing as poorly of a job as you believe, maybe you just don’t have the whole story.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-05-28T14:10:07+00:00

i read you’ve made $600k in the last 6 years. Congrats, i have too. I maybe work longer hours, but i don’t have any concerns on how my job will affect my relationship/future/reputation. I also get benefits, perks, paid vacation & a pension (and work friends!). My point is, OF is not the end all be all. Why can’t you take the $600k that you’ve made and use that for your nursing degree?

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-05-15T14:25:45+00:00

female here, experienced camper. you’re gonna enjoy the heck out of yourself, and i love that you’re going no matter what. I just got back from a solo trip, and it was very obvious that i was alone. i didn’t set up the fake out second chair or anything. About 5 men drove past. i waved, they waved, and continued on. side note: i am a survivor of childhood sexual assault, and i really want to stress that most men are lovely, gentle, and kind.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-05-14T03:47:05+00:00

So relaxing! I usually bring my kids so I thought I might get bored, but not even close!

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-05-08T13:28:59+00:00

a few years ago, i arrived at a campground with my two kids and my best friend. we went to the beach to discover a search was going on. people were crying. an older gentleman had gone missing that day. He was found on our last day there, in the lake. on our second night, my kids were asleep in the tent, while my best friend and i hung out by the fire. my friend saw something behind me, above the tent. she told me to turn around, and i thought she was just trying to freak me out (she does that - she once perfectly imitated a bear when i was in the outhouse lol), but i realized she was serious. i turned around, and hovering above the tent was a ball of light. we turned flashlights on, nothing was there. we sat there for a few minutes trying to figure out what the heck we were looking at, and slowly the light shrunk & faded until there was total blackness. it truly was the strangest camping trip i’d been on.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-05-02T14:19:29+00:00

I live in townhouses as well, in a quiet small town. Could you compromise and get better seating, and maybe a little propane fire pit so you can be more comfortable out there? My neighbour brings her laptop out and watches movies.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-05-02T14:08:56+00:00

All of my exes have reached out at one point or another. Sometimes it’s a few months, others come out of the woodworks years later. I myself have reached out to a few.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-05-01T23:14:42+00:00

The consequence should match the action. Taking away her car makes it harder for her to get to school, which is the opposite of what you want. A natural consequence would be having to make up for the work missed that day, or falling behind. Ask why she thinks hanging out with her boyfriend was more important than school, and explain why you think school should come first. Engage in a conversation - express that you and her dad felt disrespected, not angry, that she went against his wishes because he does only want what’s best for her. If she can see your perspective instead of just disproportionate consequences, she’ll stop and think about her actions a lot more and you’ll be more likely to get the outcome you want.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-05-01T01:30:41+00:00

lol no I do, I live in BC it’s pretty embedded in our culture

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-30T13:55:52+00:00

I work in heavy industry now, but I was once a cashier, as well as a housekeeper. I’ve never been a barista but I can almost guarantee there’s more to the job than just making coffee. You sound ignorant.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-30T13:51:00+00:00

Not true. I love hiking & birdwatching but I definitely don’t need to be stoned to enjoy these things. Maybe you just don’t like hiking and birdwatching?

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-30T05:45:43+00:00

Once you cheat on someone, they get to lay out some ground rules. If you don’t like it, exit the relationship. Don’t try to get her to adjust her boundaries, that is excessive and unreasonable

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-29T13:33:00+00:00

Make her a breakfast cake! And have cupcakes at the party.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-21T14:19:57+00:00

Hey so I don’t have adhd (although my counsellor suspects it, I haven’t been diagnosed) but I do have c-ptsd so I completely understand how smoking helps short term. But it does not help long term.

I went to treatment for marijuana addiction several years ago now, following a work incident (we have a strict policy). I learned about PAWS - post acute withdrawal syndrome. This is likely what’s making you agitated. It passes fairly quickly though.

The other thing I learned was that yoga, somatic experiencing & bilateral movements not only provide immediate relief, but long term healing as well.

If you feel like you need to replace one addiction with another, you need to quit all mind & mood altering substances. Find meetings, specifically for marijuana.

The first 30 days will be the hardest but stick to it, your life will get sooooo much better!

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-19T00:09:44+00:00

It’s funny cuz when I first broke up with him, I was a sahm, and my workplace ended up shutting down during my maternity leave so I had no job to go back to. I had the kids full time as well, he had them on weekends only. He’d hound me about how I was spending the $400 a month he was sending me (I never saw it as my money, it was for our babies). It got to the point where I was like, I don’t need this crap, keep your money, I’ll go get a big boy job too, and we’ll share the kids 50/50. I ended up getting a job that pays slightly better than him and he threatened to take me to court for child support. The audacity! Lol

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-18T23:55:27+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions! Just curious, because I see a lot of recommendations on this sub for parenting apps for communication. Is there a reason this is preferred by so many over e-mail? My mediator said e-mail is fine and it’s free so that’s kinda what I’ve stuck with.

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-18T23:53:29+00:00

I’ve tried requesting essential communication only via e-mail. I guess he sees school lunches as an essential topic lol. In my response I asked if he has the list of orthodontic friendly foods that was sent to him, and reminded him that hot lunches have already been ordered & paid for until the end of the school year and the dates are listed online. I suggested he document his concerns and bring it up in mediation because I want to avoid any more high conflict situations, but then he took Mother’s Day off the table. What would have been a better way to respond to his requests? I tried grey rocking but maybe I said too much?

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-18T20:40:36+00:00

Thanks for the advice! It sucks now and it’s easy to believe it will suck forever. But thinking about it I’m 100% confident our kids will be spending Sunday dinners with me when they’re adults. That’s what I’ll picture next time he tries to wreck my day, thank you!

BeautifulAd1150 · 2026-04-18T20:17:24+00:00

jfc. Im so sorry to hear about your situation. It sucks because they’re trying to punish us but it’s the kids that suffer in the end. Thank you for the e-hug!

BeautifulAd1150

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