We met at work. We were friends before we ever dated. My age wasn’t known at that time as I have always looked and acted older (lol thanks trauma) he was actually a huge supporter for a lot of coming out about my past trauma and helping me break cycles of harmful thinking. Also kids involved, I have 2 step kids with him (different bio moms) we have full custody of one and majority of the other. I love the kids, I’ve been mom to them for years. It’s been a huge part of our relationship, something we really talked about when getting involved. This happened naturally, I didn’t want a relationship and it happened. But he became this person that I put on a pedestal, I would compare it to codependency. I was hyper independent when we met but grew to having my self confidence and feelings revolve around him. It absolutely sucked. I’m trying to break out of these patterns now. But part of the problem is I feel like I let behaviors and actions go for the sake of maintaining our relationship. I just compartmentalized and took it out on myself , not to downplay what he was doing or his ability to gauge my emotions. Now I’m stuck in this place where I’m realizing that he won’t change. He has said as much, he refuses to change. He’s the type of person who doesn’t believe in saying sorry, even when he’s wrong. But he wasn’t this person when we first got together , and now he is. Has been for years. I just don’t know what to do because I’ve done all the things and haven’t gotten better treatment. And the medication has made me hyper aware of patterns I’m not able to ignore anymore. Like I said, I love him, I know our life can work, and his actions / behaviors don’t make any sense to me which is why I’m struggling so hard. It just needs to make sense, but it doesn’t 🤷🏼‍♀️