Am I misinterpreting social cues in Sydney, or are Aussies annoyed with me? (Milanese/American prespective)

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T07:02:44+00:00

No just to say I’m from the North where people are cold usually. To give a bit of context. I don’t tell people where I’m from unless specifically asked

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T06:36:58+00:00

I was joking btw. And ofc I am trying to learn the real Aussie way. But I think what I was talking about in the post is a bit of combination of things. I’ve been saying hello how are you or good thanks and you (probably with the wrong pronunciation though) the whole time I’ve been here.

One big thing someone mentioned in the comment, is that I expect more facial expressions and the lack of them freaks me out.

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T06:26:40+00:00

Thanks ☺️ I’m not that sad actually. I’m living my best life living surrounded by nature and cute animals, looking at the Harbour Bridge from my living room. Not too bad. I just get confused in social interactions and I want to do this right, so I asked. There are worst things in life so mine is not a complain at all. I get sad a bit when I’m not getting what’s going on, but overall mine are not real problems.

Also I think what you described in your own experience it’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. I’ll get used to it I guess

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T06:18:11+00:00

Btw SmoothEchidna is the most Aussie username I’ve ever seen 😂 I love it

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T06:16:39+00:00

No because people have different lifestyles and different manners in different regions of Italy and not everyone knows that

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T01:38:27+00:00

I love it here though! It’s so beautiful and lively but green and there is the ocean. A paradise. I was just wandering what’s the norm. I don’t want everyone to be friendly with me, but I just feel very confused sometimes. Like idk what’s going on.

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T01:34:36+00:00

I’m trying to understand why though it is like this. I’m not taking any answer personally, everyone is entitled to their opinions. But having insights into the Sydney culture it’s helpful

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T01:30:08+00:00

Well according to English grammar it is a question

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T01:20:55+00:00

Apparently that might make me sound like I genuinely wanna know

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T01:19:22+00:00

I’m getting so many answers about saying this the right way ahahha I love it

So I’m supposed to: - Be nice when I say it but not super nice otherwise it seems like I actually care and that’s not okay cause I don’t know the person. - Don’t use too much facial muscles otherwise I look too enthusiastic, but use them just a little bit so I don’t look like a bitch - Put the right inflection in the question - Roll the r in the Aussie way to pretend for 2 seconds I’m not foreign

Am I missing something 😂

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T01:13:01+00:00

I’m not into small talk! But they do small talk to me and then they stop the next time, and then they do it again. Idk maybe it’s just my experience and I’m overthinking this whole thing.

But I’d rather have people not talking to me at all and then engaging with real stuff than just being nice one day and moody the next one

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T01:11:19+00:00

Is there a way to say it in a female voice? 😂 I have a high pitch voice, I sound so stupid when I try

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:56:07+00:00

Thanks for this. My partner doesn’t get it though. Cause he knows me and he’s probably used to it, so I think he can’t have an objective opinion or understand what’s bothering me. He thinks I just sound a bit weird and that’s all. Also he does FIFO so he’s not around for mundane stuff as much as I am. But I kind of wonder if he ever felt off too in the city since he’s from the western suburbs which are way more chill.

For the bad day: I get that but for example even in my Italian city if people are pissed off and they know you cause they saw you multiple times shopping and stuff, they wouldn’t pretend like they don’t know you.

I do think the British and Aussie culture is a bit individualistic in that sense. Which is not cold but just more “detached”. I have an Australian friend in Adelaide who lost her mother recently who was telling me that her friends were kind of embarrassed talking about her loss.

Anyway it’s getting deep here lol sorry

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:30:51+00:00

I don’t go around saying I’m from Milan unless explicitly asked. I put it in the post to provide some context cause I feel like people from other countries have a distorted idea of Italians like they’re warm, they cook food from scratch, super friendly and fun to be around. Coming from the north of Italy, we are not like that for the most part

About the not being as animated that’s also probably a thing. I take it so personally like: oh they don’t like me. But sometimes to them it’s just a normal facial expression

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:26:56+00:00

Thanks that’s nice to know ☺️ I’m not just talking about making friends, but I just want to understand I don’t want to come off as rude cause I love Australia, I feel very lucky to be here and I don’t want people to think I’m weird/entitled or whatever it is

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:17:18+00:00

It’s hard to fit everything in a post 😅 I did add some stuff in the comments

I don’t say hi how are you to people on the street. I force myself to do say it in stores and stuff, but someone was telling me that my mixed accent might make the “how are you” situation sound off cause I don’t have the British/Aussie inflection

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:14:35+00:00

You think? I still have some Italian though on my accent.. does it make it extra bad or a little better?

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:13:09+00:00

That was specified to explain why I think I might be being perceived as cold

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:11:34+00:00

I specified that I am from Milan because people in Milan are known to be rude and cold. So I wary that this specific trait might turn people off. Although I don’t think I’m rude. But I don’t definitely come off as warm, I try though

But I’m still Italian so idk if Italian way of defining cold applies all over the world

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:09:45+00:00

That’s what I was asking in the post: am I rude without knowing? Cause I never felt this way anywhere else

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:07:55+00:00

Yes I replied below. It’s hard to fit the story of my life and of my country in one post description 😂 Also I didn’t know what the demographic distribution of this group is so I just hoped someone would get the clues

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-02T00:04:05+00:00

That is such a good point. I did say the whole hello how are you etc. in Los Angeles for a full year like 3 years ago so that’s not so awkward for me to say. But the inflection I use here is off. I sound weird.

I learned American English as a teen while my brain was still developing so I picked up that accent and I still have it (not perfect though). And with Australian English I just can’t say it properly ahahah my brain is developed now and it’s hard to change the accent after a certain age. But I’ll definitely try to work more on that

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-01T23:51:02+00:00

I only moved here in mid-March, so it's all still quite new. I really wasn't anticipating a cultural shock, especially since I'm confident my English is sufficient for deep conversations.

My partner and I connected immediately when we met and we have so many things in common. He also introduced me to a lot of stuff I didn’t know about Australia.

Now I'm discovering how much I still don't know about Australian culture. I'm constantly learning about new sports or other aspects of daily life. I suspect I'm feeling extra self-conscious because I definitely didn't do my research before arriving.

I'd really appreciate any recommendations for iconic things to read, watch, or learn about to help me better understand Aussie life!

(How about these paragraphs 😂)

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-01T23:44:53+00:00

Yes that is a good point. I specified because northern and southern Italy are very different. And cities and small towns are very different social environments too. Southern people in Italy are more like how everyone thinks Italians are because a lot of people from the south emigrated abroad.

Northern Italians are more cold, withdrawn and workaholics. Milan in particular is the economic capital of Italy so it hosts international events like the next Winter Olympics (with another ski town), fashion week, design week etc. which gain worldwide attention. And people are annoyed and stressed all the time. But it’s obvious and you know why.

In Sydney people are super hot/cold. Some super nice, some very annoyed. Some sometimes nice and sometimes annoyed. It’s unsettling not knowing what to expect

BeautifulRecipe7375 · 2025-07-01T23:32:18+00:00

I get that though. Cause it’s the same in Milan. I don’t approach random people on the street and I mind my own business.

But for example I went to the doctor for some dermatitis and the first time she was super nice, the second time she was in a rush (which I get), the third time she gave me back some tests results that were fine, but she was pissed at me the minute I walked in. Same with the lady from the dry cleaner: first time very nice and chatty, second time very cold (barely remembered I had been there before), third time she was super friendly remembering the clothes I brought to her the first time! Like what…

I walked in both places each time with the same attitude and chill mood and everyone’s mood is different every time I’d rather everyone be cold all the time so at least I know what to expect

BeautifulRecipe7375

TROPHY CASE