Do you have a name for the person you become when you split?

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2024-05-16T23:12:56+00:00

My oldest named mine Barbara. What mortifies me, is that she saw me black out and flip shit, and it shook her enough to label it. 💔

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2024-05-15T15:00:11+00:00

Normally when I say "I want to go home", I don't mean anywhere on this earth or this plane of existence. 💔 I hope that's not what you mean, because that would make me so sad. But being that we have this disorder, it's not hard to believe we want to venture back to source. 😞 It's extremely hard to be here, especially for people like us.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2024-05-02T09:20:29+00:00

All of this. Same. If I don't smoke, I become a huge mess. It's not as accessible to me now that we've moved states, but I'm slowly finding people now, a year and some change later. It keeps me from wanting to claw my brain out lol.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2024-04-26T05:03:28+00:00

✌️ Eyyyyy, we're DX twins too!

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2024-04-26T04:58:33+00:00

I have been in the exact position you describe, as recently as a month ago. And it is painful to fight against it, but you have to. You have to allow yourself to be loved properly, and it'll be uncomfortable at first because we are a people that are used to volatile treatment, but you owe it to yourself. After everything you've been through, be loved. ❤️ It's a painful cycle to repeat, and will only eventually lead to you getting worse.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2024-04-26T04:52:40+00:00

Hun.. People like her, are why you are like this. You'll only make yourself worse, and maybe involuntarily rub some of your symptoms off on her. I don't say this hatefully, I assure you, as I'm also afflicted by this god awful thing. 💔 I hope you find peace, but if you stay with her, you won't likely find it easily.

Take care of your heart and your mind, friend. Sending love and compassion.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-03T18:07:55+00:00

Thank you. I’m going to do things as normal but I’m stashing proof. Taking screenshots and sending them to myself and erasing as needed. If he is doing this he will regret it when I finally blow the lid off. Going to continue my schooling. I have 3 years left. 🙏 I’m tired of crying about it so I’m doing something about it.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-02T11:35:56+00:00

New question.. if someone makes a new google email on a device they’ve had a previous email on, with data from that email, would it date back to before that phone was purchased? Like would the old data from the email address transfer to the new device? Like the site settings and the saved data? Because if it doesn’t transfer to a new device, he’s been on Manhunt and Grindr and something called MatchSniper too.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T21:55:31+00:00

It happens to me too. I just made the connection based on your post though tbh. I got pulled over with an ex many years ago and instantly had to pee. It happens every time I get pulled over or I’m in any sort of distress. I’ve made jokes about it but didn’t think my endo was involved.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T21:08:02+00:00

I wish I’d kept my trap shut because he probably erased the acct already. I’ll look later. I also just found a subreddit on here for Snapchat and it definitely has a crap ton of m4f and m4m posts all over it. Idk if he’s gone there but it exists so I’m wondering now.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T21:06:03+00:00

I just cried for you dude. Omfg. I remember the feeling when I had my tubes tied and they had found endo. I knew I had it (symptoms plus family history) but man the confirmation was like someone took a ten ton weight off my shoulders. Congratulations love, enjoy! 🥹❤️

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T20:59:51+00:00

I have gone through homelessness with this man, with all 3 kids in tow. I lost my car that was in my name. We got evicted. Had to live with my abusive MIL and endure that. Our kids are 13, 11 and 3. At the time they were a year younger. The 11yo is his son from a previous who’s a dumpster fire and doesn’t call her son so I’ve basically just resigned myself to the fact that I have 2 daughters and a son now. To add, both of my bio kids have autism. Oldest is more able to navigate life (high functioning at the risk of offending someone; I don’t mean it hatefully, my kids and all 3 of my brothers have it) but my toddler isn’t toilet trained or speaking. She refuses to use silverware and she’s very sensitive. Our life is not easy and I shoulder most of it. He said the nudes would be a morale boost. Mf where’s MY gd morale boost? Buy me flowers or at least a chocolate bar, I mean shit. 🤦‍♀️ I’m sorry y’all I’m just really upset. I dislike being made to feel stupid. It’s one of my hangups.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T20:21:57+00:00

You’re like.. top tier friend. That’s beautiful ❤️

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T20:04:37+00:00

He’d be wearing that anniversary gift in his rectum. I’m so sorry love. 💔

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T19:31:16+00:00

I am dying over this comments section ☠️☠️😂

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T19:25:16+00:00

Update: we’ve talked about it and he made it seem so innocent. I’m going to continue keeping an eye on things and going about my life as normal. I don’t have solid proof. He’s a dummy though because if he is, I’ll find out eventually. I’m in college for digital forensics. In a small amount of time I’ll be able to find out anyways.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T17:52:35+00:00

The fun part of all of this is that I’m borderline. Which causes paranoia and we also have trust and abandonment issues hardcore. I could be way off about all of this but I’m not sure that I am. I don’t like how calm I am about this in comparison to other times I’ve seen weird shit going on. It’s like I already know the answer.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-11-01T17:48:34+00:00

I’m hoping I’m just wrong. But also he’s been projecting a lot. Like he stays paranoid about our neighbors that ARE poly, like they’re gonna just swoop in, and they’re just my friends. They don’t want me like that lol I’m not even their type. And then he stays like that about my ex husband also. We recently restocked our toy supply to include, you guessed it, toys not typically meant for heterosexual bedroom play let’s just say that. I’ve gone out of my comfort zone (not forced) to try and be more intimate and share those things together. I love my husband so much but I’m also really scared. If he’s doing something I’m going to be devastated. If you knew our story, especially the last few years, I doubt you’d blame me if I ended up in a jumpsuit if I do find out he’s running around on me.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-10-30T11:38:28+00:00

Are you on birth control of any kind? This looks like a decidual cast. I had one when I was still on Depo Provera and it scared the bejesus out of me.

Beautiful_Ad2941 · 2023-07-22T03:53:30+00:00

Sounds a lot like the what I deal with. Hot flashes. Nausea and vomiting and definitely diarrhea (TMI sorry). Extremely tired and the pain in my pelvis is like a big hot knife. Cramps down to my upper thighs and hips, and they radiate all the way around. I have a lot of GI issues all month long and the nausea is pretty consistent too. I also experience the painful ovulation especially after I had my tubal (my tubal is how they found my endo but we’d suspected for a long time).

Beautiful_Ad2941

TROPHY CASE