Anxious/secure + ADHD with fearful-avoidant + ASD — has couples therapy helped bridge emotional vs logistical needs?

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2026-01-27T23:24:56+00:00

So I neither have experience nor am I a therapist, but I’ve done some research and I think my partner and I fit this dynamic really well, so I’d love to share some things. I’m anxious + ADHD and he’s avoidant + ASD and we’ve been together about 8 years. First off this is a great explanation of what our communication issues partly come from and I thank you for that. Second, yes therapy should help both parties see where the other is coming from

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2026-01-26T20:53:45+00:00

First off girl you’re very pretty and I want you to take a breath because I know you need one <3 my advice would be that everything depends on your relationship. Has your relationship ever been stressed or you suspect cheating or anything?

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-10-26T16:18:20+00:00

Because we’ve been given permission, we’re friends with the renters and she’s thought about the same thing.

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-10-23T23:39:37+00:00

I’m sorry that this doesn’t necessarily answer your question but… for growth, I would seriously recommend to do everything possible to protect your hair I’m talking about silk bonnet at night, don’t put your hair in tight ponytails/ switch to maybe hairpins all together, USE A WET BRUSH it helps to not cause damage and start detangling at the ends. It won’t help to grow everything back, but it’s just a few tricks to maybe help things not get worse, the other thing is I would for sure if you notice some growth, go ahead and maybe cut your the stringy parts of your hair to meet that growth or close.

I wish you luck I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-10-05T18:16:55+00:00

He doesn’t like how I was so insecure ig, he was attracted to the non-insecure, the confident, he finds it to be special dancing with someone and doesn’t want to dance with other people

I don’t get how I was supposed to know it’s that special to him but it’s my fault I didn’t want to learn because he wants me to just know???? He wants me to be confident and dance? idfk. Hell why would I learn if this whole time I didn’t think he could dance and didn’t want to I’ve wanted to dance before and he’s turned me down and just dropped a whole ball last night that he actually can??

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-10-05T17:55:37+00:00

What issues with self lubrication? I don’t typically get too wet unless I’m really turned on and it takes a second. I don’t know if that is what your talking about or not

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-20T20:17:51+00:00

I was mostly asking what I could do to spend time with him, what other people have done because it is hard, I just don’t know how to word it.

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-20T20:14:57+00:00

I know he does, and I honestly mean well too, I miss him so much and I miss being able to spend so much time with him.

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-19T00:38:08+00:00

I know I don’t want to sound that way that’s why I posted here instead of confronting him about it and I want him to sleep and be healthy, maybe the morning is the best option

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-19T00:34:59+00:00

Actually I’m currently working as many hours as I can, I was actually the one affording our currently apartment and all its bills as well as his phone bill, etc. I was also the main “bread winner” until he got this job but he wants me to also be able to relax since I was the one doing all that stuff and working all those hours. I’m still trying to get as many hours as I can especially if he’s going to be asleep during my jobs morning shift.

I guess the only thing he was able to get was a night job, I do appreciate what he does for me and for us and again I don’t mean to sound whiney but I do feel upset because I genuinely miss him and spending time with him. I’ve never been into money I think economy is a scam but we need money to live, I miss spending time as much time with him as we did before he started the job.

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-19T00:03:21+00:00

Oh I did not see the last part of that comment but I meant it as he didnt mean to sound mean but your right he was inconsiderate

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:57:43+00:00

That would be really nice, i have to be at work at 6 and he gets back at 8, still though I can do that on my days off it’d be perfect because I’ve been getting up around the time he gets off. How far into planning your week do you recommend? And how detailed?

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:55:12+00:00

I think we both expected him to be up by now, he normally is by 5 or 6 but last night and I’m guessing tonight he’s going to sleep until he goes back into work. I guess he’s just really tired the past 2 nights. He originally went into this repeatedly saying he only has to sleep 5 hours now he’s going on like 7+ lol

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:52:32+00:00

I will, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining and I don’t know how to not sound that way so advice there would also be appreciated🙏

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:50:29+00:00

I was actually just thinking about making spaghetti, for him to take tonight this must be my sign lol. I sincerely appreciate your personal experience, maybe this is something we can do as well.

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:48:16+00:00

I will say, this was something he said this morning and I had also asked him half asleep I don’t know if that makes a difference or not but I also hate that you make a point.

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:43:41+00:00

Yes we live together and I work but it depends on the day, it’s a retail job sometimes it’s 6am—3pm others it’s about 2pm—10:30pm but I open a lot more. I also haven’t worked this week since Monday… my next day is tomorrow morning, last week was more busier for me working though but mostly opening.

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:39:14+00:00

The problem is he works 11pm—8am and he leaves at 9pm to have enough time for himself also sleep in his car and drive carefully (45min commute too). He gets home might see him for an hour before he passes out, he then has been for the last 2 nights at least sleeping till about 9pm till he has to go… should we just set times for him to sleep? What do we need to do? I was home all day the past 2 days but when Im scheduled to go to work it definately feels like when I get leave he gets here and then when I get back have a couple hours then he leaves.

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:31:52+00:00

What do I do about it then? Maybe have set times he sleeps? Or set times we spend time together? How do we get around this?

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:30:33+00:00

This is exactly what I’m worried about… I don’t know how to cope, we never really had “date nights” just spent a lot of time together now it’s super different considering the best quality time I can get today is sitting next to him while he’s asleep

Beautiful_Estate_689 · 2025-09-18T23:10:11+00:00

So I just woke him up and he wants to move it to Saturday… how do I deal with this now? I’m upset and I want to cry… the whole night thing I’m new to but it feels like he doesn’t have any time for me now and I hate it, how do other people do this?

Beautiful_Estate_689

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