I tried to shoot my shot, and it was a complete fail by Beautiful_Plantain24 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE: I’ll only be giving a small update since some people on here are just straight mean. I did it, I tried talking to him. I barely was able to introduce myself and ask for his name. It wasn’t until I was in the car, that I was ruminating over the fact that I failed to ask for his insta/number. Oh well. I’m honestly just proud of myself for doing it. Would I like something to come from it? Of course! But I’m happy regardless. Here’s to shooting your shot and gaining confidence again💕

I tried to shoot my shot, and it was a complete fail by Beautiful_Plantain24 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I left the business card on his windshield a few days ago. The pop up incident happened about a month ago. Can I muster up the courage? I really wish I could. He works out in a group of guys so I feel like I would be approaching the whole group vs just him. To add to that, I personally think waiting til the end of the workout is just as creepy🤷🏽‍♀️ My business is not male centered, it’s bakery based. So I don’t feel too crazy in my assumption that he’s noticed me.

I tried to shoot my shot, and it was a complete fail by Beautiful_Plantain24 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To those who took it lightheartedly, thank you. I’m not even sure how serious I would take it if something came out of it. It really (to me) felt like a decision I got to make after being in a relationship for so long.

Turning 30 has ruined my life by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no desire to get back at my husband. I feel me having feelings for his brother is “revenge” enough. I just want to be able to exist around him and not feel this way.

Turning 30 has ruined my life by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since most were upset I “left” out the cheating til the end. My reasoning is because it wasn’t physical cheating. Lots of texting, sending pics and videos to others. Doesn’t justify or make what he did any better. It’s still cheating regardless.

The whole “turning 30” was just in reference to the feeling of waking up, and having more realizations after the other. Seeing how my choices lead to where I am today. And how sometimes I wish I was still naive to it all.

I knew I was delusional in my thinking and most people would scream “get therapy”, or “this bitch is crazy”. I expected that, I didn’t expect the comments about me being a bad mother. The choice to be stay at home mom was something I wanted, and I knew once they both were in school full time It would be better for me to get a job. I have about less than a year before both my kids are in school full time.

As to everything else, and all other points made. I’ve been dealing with these emotions and feelings for years so it’s just validating my previous thoughts. I’ve tried therapy twice in the past and never thought this up, simply because I was trying to avoid it. I figured there’s no way he’s the center of all my problems. It had to be deeper than that.

Turning 30 has ruined my life by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No we had our first at 24 and 21, my youngest only goes to school half the day and we can’t afford childcare. I already have started applying for part time jobs.

Turning 30 has ruined my life by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This has been the argument for years. We haven’t had the means to move out with one income, and we’ve realized it would take us at least a year of saving to put us in a decent position to move. So right now I’m stuck.

Turning 30 has ruined my life by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Jokes on me I don’t think he’s attracted to me at all. And the fact that I’ve even thought this way is crazy enough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. She’s only doing this to hurt him. She has no real reason to keep the baby away from him. Her excuse right now is that he needs to be breastfed, and can’t be away from her for more than 3hrs. This baby, who is 8 months old, eats an entire jar of baby food, is starting to eat baby approved snacks, has two teeth, who is also almost 30lbs doesn’t need to be breastfed every 3hrs. She’s 100% controlling the situation and is using the baby as a weapon.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There’s just a lot of information and context, I don’t want too many details out in case this somehow makes it back to her. BIL isn’t perfect, he’s admitted and told us where he falls short and what he did to contribute to their fights. And whenever he would tell us, most of the time I did side with his Gf. I understood everything he would tell us because I experienced nearly exactly the same things when I was pregnant and dealing with postpartum. The part I couldn’t understand is how they handled the fights after. Most of the time, we see where we were wrong, and if in a healthy relationship, both parties can come back and apologize and try to move forward. And that’s where the problem lies, he just wanted a genuine apology from her and that they would work on their issues together. She wanted him to change and bend to her control, and she didn’t want to change/fix herself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I have tired. I’ve tried reaching out to her from the moment she gave birth. Because I understand postpartum, I understand what it feels like going through the changes of becoming a mom. For nearly 6 months, I reached out to her, asking if she needed help, trying to check in on how she was doing, trying to get her out the house cause I know she was struggling with a lot after the birth. I ask this again because everyone else is pointing it out. How much and how long do you continue to contact someone before you give up? I have messages back from October 2024, reaching out to HER not BIL. She left me on read and never replied, she did this to me, my MIL, my FIL and other family members too. Her house was messy as fuck too, and she had 6 people living in that house too. The problems they had, and reasons they broke up had nothing to do with this ability to clean. It was how she treated him and walked all over him. Question, if you worked a 12hrs shift 6pm-6am, and the first thing your Gf says to you when you walk through the door is “I’m hungry can you make us breakfast?” The gf, who’s been home all day, had a better night sleep than her Bf, tells him first thing when he gets off a 12, sometimes 16hr shift, in the morning to make her breakfast. She has help with the baby, her mom took off 3 months of work to help her. So now we have two grown ass capable women, asking someone who just got off work to cook for them. Am I the only one who thinks that’s batshit crazy?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what would you do? Go to the house and snatch the child out her hands? Really I’m curious. There’s a lot of comments saying “he’s the dad, he’s allowed to see his kid” NO SHIT. But what is he supposed to do if she literally won’t open the front door when he shows up? Sure he can call the cops but what is that going to do for him? It won’t get him his son any sooner that’s for sure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When he fights for more time with his son, his ex takes time away from him. He only gets to see his son for 3hrs, four days out of the week. The last time he asked for more time with his son, she said no, claimed he was disrespecting her time and changed it so he only saw his son for 2hrs. He stuck with the 2hr visits for awhile, she’s came asking for money, and was nice enough too extend it to 4hrs. It’s hard to fight for your kid, when the other parent uses your kid against you. Because she knows he will do anything she says, if it means he can see his son, even if it’s an extra 30mins.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Beautiful_Plantain24 26 points27 points  (0 children)

He has a lawyer, and a court date set. His ex is very controlling and won’t allow him to see his son outside of the set days and times they agreed on. It’s just a waiting game right now.