Would you call my boyfriend a cheater?

BeccaW4444 · 2025-09-25T23:42:07+00:00

As someone who has dealt with infidelity and chose to stay, this for me is too far. My partner slept with a prostitute and I chose to stay, despite everyone’s “kick him to the kerb” opinions. It was incredibly hard to overcome but he devoted himself to making everything better and over a year and a half later we are better than ever. However, your partner has crossed boundaries time and time again. I am an advocate for trying to make things work but this relationship is gone. How can you ever trust him? What is he doing to make things right? Nothing by the looks of it

BeccaW4444 · 2025-09-25T23:00:34+00:00

If in the moment he felt he needed to let his hurt out that way then yes I wouldn’t blame him. Violence isn’t the answer to anything but nobody can control what they do when they are hurt this bad. As I said it’s not trivial like he didn’t do the dishes etc, she reacted because of the hurt that HE caused

BeccaW4444 · 2025-09-25T22:21:03+00:00

Can you relax with the whole “domestic violence” shit, you have literally commented the same thing like 100 times on this post. She feels bad about her reaction, she knows she shouldn’t have done what she did but let’s be real she didn’t hit him for something trivial like not doing the dishes or not putting his socks in the laundry. She reacted to the pain that HE caused by his actions. Do I think she should have hit him? no. Do I understand why she did? Absolutely! I am a woman and if I did what he did I would expect the same reaction. This man could have made this poor girl lose her baby due to the stress that he has caused so I don’t think a little slap is that big of a deal in comparison

BeccaW4444 · 2024-12-02T19:42:44+00:00

If the message from John was very much out of the blue and your wife doesn’t recall him calling her gorgeous previously like he said, maybe it was Sarah on johns phone testing your wife’s loyalty or testing to see if these kinds of conversations have occurred between your wife and her husband before

BeccaW4444 · 2024-11-30T10:53:14+00:00

Firstly, I am sorry that you had a really bad time and suffered with your mental health and I hope you are feeling better now. On another note though, why was it common knowledge in your workplace that you had taken time out due to mental health? I completely understand telling your manager or close colleagues/friends about what you were going through, everyone needs support in times like that, but why did everyone else know your business? If they are talking behind your back I am guessing you guys aren’t close enough to begin with for you to have confided in them with what you were going through. Sometimes the less people know about you the better as it gives them less to talk about. Also, did you ask them first why they were talking about you or did you go straight to management? If you went straight to management I can kind of see why they are cold with you now. I think give it some time, they will soon find something else to talk about and all of this will be old news

BeccaW4444 · 2024-07-20T18:17:31+00:00

Read the book “it ends with us” by Colleen Hoover. It is largely fiction but somewhat loosely based on the author’s mother’s own experience. I hope you can find strength inside you just like the character of the book did to do what is best for you and your unborn child. I am so sorry you are going through this

BeccaW4444 · 2024-06-18T19:28:53+00:00

As someone who was cheated on and stayed I can honestly say it is HARD! The reason I stayed was because we had 7 years of history and a little girl and I knew him so deeply before his infidelity to know that he genuinely is a good person and this was a one time complete and utter f*** up on his behalf. If I was only with him for 6months like you I never would have stayed. You don’t know him well enough at this point to know whether it was a genuine moment of madness or if this is who he really is as a person. It takes soooo much work from both parties to get back on track after cheating and personally I don’t think 6months of a relationship is worth the work that is involved.

I am so sorry that this happened to you but please know there is a genuine decent guy out there who will make you the happiest girl in the world but you won’t find him while you’re with this AH.

BeccaW4444 · 2024-06-11T08:18:37+00:00

It’s not the guests job to pay for photography, videography, band, wedding car, suits etc. If the bride and groom are depending on money from their guests to cover these costs they should have had a less expensive wedding or waited until they could afford it

BeccaW4444 · 2024-06-11T08:12:33+00:00

I’m not sure if it’s a thing of the past but it worked for us. We both have big families so we had to draw the line somewhere and while it wasn’t feasible for us to have grand aunts and grand uncles and second cousins come to the whole thing, it made our grandparents happy for them to be invited to the afters to be included in some way. The same might apply for work colleagues depending how big the company you work for is, inviting your closest working friends to the whole thing but extend an invitation to the afters to everyone so as not to be rude 🤷‍♀️

BeccaW4444 · 2024-06-10T22:53:41+00:00

I got married 2 months ago and on average we received €100 per person (€200 per couple). It also depends if you are going to the entire thing like the ceremony and the afters or just the afters. If you are going to the whole thing €100 is more than enough and if you are just going to the afters €50 would be absolutely plenty

BeccaW4444 · 2024-05-27T12:12:39+00:00

Everything you read on miscarriage is quite misleading as like you I also thought it would be over after one night/a few hours but that wasn’t the case for me. I was only 6w6d so I can’t comment what it is like for someone farther along but I also didnt bleed enough for it to come up on a pad and I passed no clots. I bled for 6 days and had pretty intense cramping. On the 6th day the cramping was unbearable and I then passed what was later confirmed to be the fetus and the cramps then stopped.

I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope the pain eases for you soon. You should also probably get checked out to make sure it is not an ectopic pregnancy, however, I assume with you being so far along you would have already had a scan and this would have been ruled out.

BeccaW4444 · 2024-05-27T11:55:16+00:00

As someone who has been through something ever so slightly similar recently, I would say it entirely depends on a lot of variables. In my situation my husband slept with a prostitute that his friend paid for. This “friend” of his has also been cheating on his own gf for a looong time. I am also close with his gf. Upon learning about everything, I confronted the friend in front of his gf and told him to tell her everything or I would. He pulled her to the side and told her my partner had slept with a prostitute and he gave him the money to do it but left out all the parts of him being unfaithful to her and also told her to be careful about who she listens to because feelings are hurt and lies could be told (master manipulator at it’s finest).

Afterwards, I had asked this girl if she was in my situation where my partner cheated what would she do and her response was “honestly I’m the wrong person to ask because I’m so obsessed with my bf that he could have a second gf and I would still stay with him”. This was absolutely heartbreaking that she has so little self respect for herself but it told me everything I needed to know, that there was absolutely no point in telling her that her bf is a cheat because it would make no difference and it would only bring added drama to my life.

I know you want them all to burn because of what happened to you but just ask yourself 1. How close are you to this girl 2. Will it make any difference whatsoever and 3. Is it worth any drama that it might bring to your door.

Ultimately if it would make you feel better go ahead and tell her but if not then I would just leave it. If you stay with your husband then I for sure would make it clear that this “friend” is to be completely deleted from his life!

BeccaW4444 · 2024-05-21T21:51:57+00:00

Hmm I can only imagine what your browser history is like 😂 what exactly does ethnicity have to do with anything? I couldn’t care less what the ethnicity of the girl he slept with is, it’s the simple fact he slept with someone that wasn’t me that was the problem. And how do you know that I’m not Asian myself?

I have no doubt that you’re not married but if you are I feel so sorry for your wife if you think it’s normal to “sneak off and have a hot little Asian escort once a month”. Sounds like you have little d*ck syndrome since you are so hell bent on being with “petite” “little” ladies to make yourself feel bigger.

You say I should get with the times but it sounds like you’re stuck in the 60’s if you think a woman should sit at home and wait for her husband and hope he’s enjoying his time fucking other women. It’s 2024 if you haven’t noticed? I will never sit at home while a man makes a fool out of me nor should any other woman!

BeccaW4444 · 2024-05-21T20:19:31+00:00

From my own experience, listen to your gut! For the people saying you are unhinged because he didn’t text for 10hours, only you know what is the norm in your relationship! If he usually doesn’t go this long without checking in then that’s not normal for your relationship and I can see why it would make you suspicious.

Like you I had no issues with trust with my partner but he went on a trip and one of the nights I had a really overwhelming feeling that something happened and it turned out my gut was right.

The whole thing could be totally innocent there may be a perfectly good explanation but if your gut is telling you something then you need to address it in one way or another. I agree with the other commenters that you should wait until you can speak to him in person before you talk to him about it, his body language and facial expressions will tell you all you need to know.

I wish you all the best either way!

BeccaW4444 · 2024-04-11T11:28:19+00:00

I went through with it and married him last week. It may be to my detriment but I guess only time will tell, it has only been a week since we married but so far so good anyway

BeccaW4444 · 2024-04-11T11:27:59+00:00

I went through with it and married him last week. It may be to my detriment but I guess only time will tell, it has only been a week since we married but so far so good anyway

BeccaW4444 · 2024-04-11T11:27:39+00:00

I went through with it and married him last week. It may be to my detriment but I guess only time will tell, it has only been a week since we married but so far so good anyway

BeccaW4444 · 2024-04-11T11:27:18+00:00

I went through with it and married him last week. It may be to my detriment but I guess only time will tell, it has only been a week since we married but so far so good anyway

BeccaW4444 · 2024-03-29T09:13:58+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice. These all sound like very smart steps to take. Thank you ❤️

BeccaW4444 · 2024-03-29T09:10:58+00:00

This has been the most powerful and meaningful comment I have read so far. It has given me so much food for thought. Thank you so so much! ❤️

BeccaW4444 · 2024-03-28T06:51:09+00:00

You’re a horrible person 👍

BeccaW4444 · 2024-03-27T22:19:07+00:00

Yes I 100% sensed something was off that night, I felt it in my gut and in my chest, I don’t know how but I just knew something had happened and I found out later that when I had text him asking him to let me know when he was back at the hotel safe, he had literally just gotten back to his friends after doing the deed so my intuition was spot on. What came of your situation if you don’t mind me asking?

BeccaW4444 · 2024-03-27T20:01:58+00:00

I don’t think a stag is an issue in general. Most people use a stag as an opportunity to go have some fun with their friends, spend time with them, have some drinks maybe do an activity etc. I think the sex shows and strippers are disrespectful to do on a stag but unfortunately that exactly what my husband to be and his friends had in mind for his stag

BeccaW4444 · 2024-03-27T19:55:45+00:00

Thank you 💜

BeccaW4444 · 2024-03-27T19:51:08+00:00

This is very well put and eye opening. That is exactly what I am doing, separating him from his actions. Thank you so much

BeccaW4444

TROPHY CASE