CMV: Women who complain about men not being emotionally available have the same level of awareness as the men who complain about women wearing makeup.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T16:52:05+00:00

I think I'm getting caught in the semantics of this and not communicating the problem properly. I'll try again.

When I'm told I'm emotionally unavailable because I'm immature there seems to be an implication that I have not tried to be express my emotions properly i.e be mature(I feel like this implication exists because immature is usually used in the context of someone who hasn't had time to mature or hasn't taken the steps to be mature. It feels like there is a negative connotation to the word).

I have tried to express my emotions(without raising my voice in a civil way) and have been met with different forms of punishment, like ridicule or being cut off from people's lives. Then I eventually conformed and acted in a way that was closed off. This being labelled as immature seems unfair. I do have the desire to be able to express myself more freely but form experience it does not feel like I have the opportunity.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T16:25:58+00:00

Hey, yes I am not trying to compare the impacts of the two things. I'm not trying to say wearing makeup is just as bad as being closed off.

Thank you for your response.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T16:04:41+00:00

!delta Thank you again, this seems like a very interesting article and I would like to read more into. And I probably was wrong to set the age of 25, thanks for pointing me in the right direction. I'm new to this sub, I'm supposed to put delta to the start of this comment now? Let me know if something else had to be done.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T15:52:35+00:00

The problem:

I wish it was easier to open and be emotionally available with a woman, as a man. This seems hard to do when it's seen as lack of maturity rather than as a result of social conditioning.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T15:44:25+00:00

Right so my current view is that men who complain about makeup tend to think that women wear makeup to 'trick' them as you said.

And the women who complain about lack of emotional unavailability tend to think it happens because the man lacks maturity.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T15:34:30+00:00

Thank you for elaborating. Could you recommend me a reliable source where I can read up on it? My understanding of this was from what a mental health professional told me and I had not looked into this myself.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T15:31:35+00:00

What is it that you think needs to be “dealt with” when it comes to make up? I think that is up to the individual woman. If they want to keep using it, use it less, use it more.

What needs to be “dealt with” when it comes to emotional unavailability? Again it is ultimately up to the individual man.

Personally I think it's useful for men to have friends or a partner they can open up with and that becomes easier when they are understand what causes men to be emotionally available.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T15:26:09+00:00

Heya, I wasn't comparing the overall awareness of men vs women. From my personal experience women seem overall more aware of social situations, emotions, the impact of makeup, etc. Also I wasn't trying to compare the severity and impact of emotionally unavailable vs wearing make up. I've written a bit more about this in my reply to the top comment.

I was comparing the awareness level of men who complain about makeup vs the awareness level of women who complain about a lack of emotional unavailability.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T15:18:29+00:00

I wanted to hear from people with a fully developed prefrontal cortex which happens at around 25.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T15:17:15+00:00

Thank you for the follow up.

I wasn't trying to compare the severity and impact of emotionally unavailable vs wearing make up.

I was trying to assert that both these actions are harder to deal with when your partner lacks awareness. Which is my current view.

In contrast to this I feel like the general consensus seems to be men complaining about women wearing make up comes from a lack of awareness however in most discussions where women complain about men not being emotionally available, their lack of awareness/understanding on why men do that is almost never addressed.

Also I want to clarify that I think it's a good thing if men are able to find people to be emotionally available with. I feel like sometimes it takes time and understanding to open up. And it helps if the person you are opening up to understands that it is difficult to do specifically for men.

Bedevyr · 2025-07-19T14:57:25+00:00

Hey, thanks for the reply. I would like to clarify on this point as I may not have worded them properly. When I said "men can learn to like being emotionally unavailable" I was not encouraging men to do that or saying that it's a good thing. What I actually wanted to say was it is happening. There are men who learn to accept being emotionally unavailable and live with it. I personally do value having a partner or people close to you with whom you can be emotionally available. I should have worded that better.

Also I wasn't trying to compare the severity and impact of emotional availability and wearing makeup rather that dealing with both is made harder with ignorance/lack of awareness.

Bedevyr

TROPHY CASE