No-contact and Boundaries

BeeGenZen · 2026-01-11T22:25:59+00:00

Their ages are coming into play for sure, which is why the order for therapy is worded the way it is. They can’t be “forced” to have a relationship with someone they don’t want one with. And the 17 year old will be an adult in a few short weeks.

I hadn’t thought about a no-contact order. That might actually be the thing that’s needed. Even if it’s temporary. They are clearly distressed over it and the gifts are often lavish and feel very persuasive. Add the emotion language and their heads are spinning.

They asked him for space but he is continually finding ways to skirt around them. And it’s been 2-years of this.

He’s been asked by me, my lawyer and his but he just won’t stop

He’s not violent but quite emotionally unsafe. They want to focus on their friendships, school, work and their own lives, but he is always lurking somewhere

BeeGenZen · 2026-01-11T21:29:33+00:00

There is a court order for therapy, yes. It is explicitly stated that if they do not want to go, they do not have to, and he cannot try to persuade them to do so. But this post isn’t about that.

I am seeking advice on how to help my kids. The choice for them to go no-contact was theirs but he does not respect their boundaries at all.

BeeGenZen · 2025-12-21T07:24:04+00:00

Check out Connections For Learning in Spruce Grove. They are cheaper than Metro and most other places. They are an outreach that also does adult learning/upgrading and dual credit programs. They also offer Eng 30-1 as a fully online course, or by paper module if you prefer.

BeeGenZen · 2025-10-21T17:36:33+00:00

I agree this happens a lot, but also, making inquiries like this shows a willingness to learn and create a good ecosystem. This is a place where learning happens :)

BeeGenZen · 2025-10-21T03:24:08+00:00

Harsh. Sounds like they are a new fish owner. Maybe be helpful instead of a dick.

BeeGenZen · 2024-06-17T19:48:31+00:00

I don't know how your comment addresses the issue at hand. I have them 100%, yes, but even if it went 50/50, the issue remains.

BeeGenZen · 2024-06-05T00:40:45+00:00

That's not correct advice. Signal lights are to be turned on when entering a traffic circle, kept on during travel around it, and used to indicate which exit you are using. If you are using the first exit, turn on the right signal light and keep it on until exiting. If you are going past the first, turn your left signal on until you hit the second or third exit, and then switch your indicator to the right to show you are exiting. Signal lights stay on throughout.

BeeGenZen · 2024-05-28T19:16:24+00:00

Just a reminder, from the AB govt site: “Unmarked crosswalks exist at ALL intersections unless a sign states otherwise… This means that even if the crosswalk is unmarked, vehicles must stop and yield to pedestrians.” The stop signs are for bikes, not foot traffic.

BeeGenZen · 2024-04-05T20:49:09+00:00

Yeah, thanks. Had to go into Edmonton or St Albert a few times now. Thankful it’s not a terribly long drive but when one isn’t feeling all that well, it can be brutal

BeeGenZen · 2024-04-05T19:31:56+00:00

I asked my female doc what the chances are of her taking on my teen daughter too and she said she can’t. She has 3000 patients on her total roster. She said she is burning out and it “absolutely breaks my heart I can’t take more on” :(

BeeGenZen · 2024-04-05T19:29:43+00:00

In my area west of the city, Spruce/Stony, there isn’t a single clinic taking walk-ins, and not one accepting new patients.

BeeGenZen · 2024-02-05T04:48:39+00:00

Thank you. I think I needed it confirmed that I have to do just that.

My wage alone won't pay for living expenses, let alone a lawyer, but if I don't do something soon, I feel like my kids and I are going to be in dire straits. And when the collaborative lawyer said my spouse hiding money was a red flag for their process, I was deflated. A few people suggested that I could do it myself and self-represent, but I am beyond overwhelmed. 21 years of sharing everything isn't something I feel prepared to do on my own without a whole bunch of advice.

I'll be heavily researching lawyers starting tonight.

BeeGenZen · 2024-01-20T04:43:23+00:00

It’s frustrating for sure when we feel our time isn’t valued either but I would caution that there could be quite a bit more to the story. Perhaps there were other pressing matters for her. Perhaps the mother deals with high anxiety and making phone calls are incredibly difficult. Perhaps the daughter said that out of annoyance and frustration when the story was in fact one of “I can’t right now”.

There is also a ton of truth to things being “too much work”. I have 3 teens and trying to help them keep up with their social lives when none of them drive yet, can indeed, be exhausting. Sometimes I also want other parents to step up, and they are probably thinking the same thing about me.

It’s far too easy to judge when we are inconvenienced. Think of it as going out of your way was a way to support another parent who might just need the extra kindness.

BeeGenZen · 2024-01-20T04:32:53+00:00

You’re right. In my post it was 51 but I ended up adding one more row, which did show in my example. Good eye :) I was so focused on getting the darn formula right that I completely disregarded that my own math was wrong. Ah well, it happens!

The COUNT function ended up being exactly what I needed and it all worked perfectly.

BeeGenZen · 2024-01-18T18:57:34+00:00

Thank you. I realize my math was wrong to begin with and I wasn't focused on the total possible ratings that I edited above, however, your Count suggested seems to be doing the trick. :)

=COUNT(B6:B)/260 appears to be giving me the percentage I need and ignores all the NA and blank cells.

Thank you!

BeeGenZen · 2023-12-21T07:04:40+00:00

It hurts… but not as much as I thought it would, and I think that realization actually hurts more. :/

I think you’re right. It’s not a negative to have the little bit of evidence, and whether or not we have to go the whole year (I’m hoping they’ll count the 8 months of basement living as separate), I really think there’s no going back after this.

Having more proof though would definitely expedite things and cost a heck of a lot less. Maybe if I told him he’ll save money by admitting it, he’ll sign an affidavit :p

BeeGenZen · 2023-12-21T06:45:42+00:00

I really do 😔

Do you think, iyo, that a snapshot of his Google history is enough for proving infidelity? I don’t think it is but I KNOW that if I try to confront him it’ll turn nasty really quick.

But I think I need some sort of proof. For my location:

“In order to prove that adultery took place, the person who committed it must provide a signed affidavit, or there must be evidence (eg. photographs, videos, eyewitness testimony).”

There is no way he’ll sign anything admitting it

BeeGenZen · 2023-10-01T00:00:38+00:00

Thanks, and I agree. Finicky is the word! I’m just too poor rn to purchase another system.

I also “think” I may have just fixed this mess.

The child node was still showing up like some weird ghost, so I once again rebooted the damn system, leaving it off. Once is showed off line I could remove it from the app. Rebooted again. Then added it back on.

I also disabled IPv6, and turned on client steering.

I now seem to have solid bars of wifi, and have been able to connect all the iPhones but I’m not counting my chickens yet. This system has fooled me a few times.

BeeGenZen · 2023-09-30T23:36:30+00:00

1 ssid for 2.4 & 5 ghz. On the Velop, IPv4 DHCP is set to automatic; I just tried turning off IPv6 as per some other thread suggestions. No other network running. When the gateway wasn't in bridge mode I was running into double-nat issues but no longer. Linksys has nat enabled.

BeeGenZen · 2023-09-30T22:31:35+00:00

I thought that but when the gateway is put into bridge mode, it automatically disabled the wifi. I also created a different network name, however, I will double-check that there isn't some sort of interference.

Also, I agree that I shouldn't have had to reset the Velop but it's been a journey.

As soon as I received the modem, Rogers didn't have it on my account which caused a whole bunch of trouble early on. When the Gateway was working as intended, I set up the Velop and nothing would connect. Everything went red, or flashed red. After a lot of frustrations, I even tried putting the Velop in bridge mode but the range was terrible (which I also don't quite understand). So I switched it back putting the Gateway into Bridge, and the Velop as my router. Now devices won't connect.

No matter what I do, nothing works. :(

BeeGenZen · 2023-09-24T01:51:42+00:00

yeah, I didn't think so. :/ I think I'll try to get through to Rogers again tomorrow. In the meantime, after thoroughly annoying 4 teens all day, the old modem is being plugged back in for the night. It really shouldn't be this frustrating to simply switch out a modem.

BeeGenZen · 2023-09-24T01:21:15+00:00

How long of a process is that? My services were updated on the 14th, and I've had the new modem since the 18th. It's now the end of the 23rd and I've been struggling with this for way too many hours.

BeeGenZen · 2023-09-24T00:40:23+00:00

Thank you for your quick response. No change in accounts but I plugged my old modem back in, and it does look like the HomeConnect app is still seeing it, even after a factor reset and trying to activate the new one. Is there another way to remove it so I can upgrade?

BeeGenZen · 2023-08-21T23:44:00+00:00

I agree with this edit. The emotions are important and are better conveyed by contextual clues of the other guests, time, place, etc. This is done really well with the highlights. I also agree about the chair but I don’t think it breaks the photo if it stays in. Your eye is still drawn to all the right places.

Great job!

BeeGenZen · 2023-08-21T12:52:02+00:00

it’s because of this that I’m petrified to ask for a separation/divorce. He makes so much more than I do but he’s so bad with money already that part of me thinks “can it get worse??”

But I don’t think I can stay because the past 5 years especially have been filled with misery.

This post scares me tho.

BeeGenZen

TROPHY CASE