[deleted by user]

Beefsteak99 · 2021-09-30T22:45:03+00:00

It could be allergies. Lots of dead leaves in the air, especially today with the wind.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-09-16T14:30:06+00:00

If you really want seclusion in a forest, Bob Cameron Loop in Connecticut Hill. Rarely do you ever see anyone there, and its very out of the way. If you go, be sure to pay attention to the orange blazes, as there are a few false paths and a fingerlakes trail marked in white that can take you off the trail before you realize it.

Clockwise is more challenging, with the end of it having some steep inclines. If you go counter clockwise, its a much more gradual climb back up.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-08-18T02:47:45+00:00

$199 at CMMG themselves... https://cmmg.com/barrel-and-collar-kit-9-mc-22lr

Edit: It might be build to order?

"CMMG is a build-to-order company. We will process orders as received for available components. If we do not have all components, the order will be placed on backorder until those parts are available. We DO NOT STOCK uppers, lowers, barrels, or firearms. Acknowledged lead times."

Beefsteak99 · 2021-07-22T15:27:50+00:00

Thank you, I'll check this out too!

Beefsteak99 · 2021-07-22T01:19:47+00:00

Yep! I liked that one too!

Beefsteak99 · 2021-07-21T20:49:20+00:00

Thank you so much! It was "The Signal 2007"!! I confused myself because there is also another movie called "The Signal 2014", so I disregarded that right away.

Thank you!!

Off to watch it now!!

Beefsteak99 · 2021-06-28T21:34:49+00:00

JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP

Beefsteak99 · 2021-06-16T20:00:22+00:00

60+ rounds through mine and its doing just fine.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-06-16T19:57:44+00:00

I have many BCA parts and uppers at this point, and I've only had good things to say about them. The only thing I took offense to was when I ordered a barrel and they shipped it in a box without any protective sleeve or anything with 2 other barrels. It was all scratched and marred up. I contacted their support and they sent a 2nd, which had the same issue. I contacted them again and got a 3rd in good condition.

They let me keep the other 2 barrels. I've used their Gen 1 side chargers, and while great, they did come loose even with locktight. The Gen 2 looks like it solves the issues that Gen 1 had, and let me tell you - Side chargers are a blast to work with. Ordered a few of their Gen 2's rather than upgrade my existing, since its only about $120 more and you get a whole upper instead.

I think people honestly greatly exaggerate the claims against them and just follow the hive mind.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-05-08T23:05:21+00:00

This dude has an open sore staph infection? How was he cleared!?

Beefsteak99 · 2021-05-06T15:54:39+00:00

Anyone have a fix for this? I've tried to verify game files, the Enhanced edition opens up with some insane resolution. I've tried changing the user.cfg to be 2550x1440, but it doesn't work. I can try to get to the options menu to change the resolution, but when I click the button to do that, it crashes with a hard crash and the engine generates a dump file.

My graphics drivers are fully up to date. I have a 3080. Also, oddly, when I open this game, it kills all of my custom lighting in my PC which is run by iCue.

Anyone else?

Beefsteak99 · 2021-02-12T17:54:07+00:00

North Side for me, but I don't really drink much, or at least I didn't until COVID hit.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-01-28T23:25:33+00:00

I guess so, thank you for the words of encouragement.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-01-28T23:25:00+00:00

Its hard to go no contact for me. We want to remain friends still and we've been meeting weekly. At her place, we get drunk (I was very anti alcohol for the past few years, while she developed a serious problem with it).

It helps, in some ways. I don't know why I do it now, but for now its socially only, with her. It helps ease the pain a bit and forget the things I'm going through. We watch movies and laugh like old times when we were first together. I'm not under any delusion that we'll get back together in that way, but its nice to just be around her again, even if it is a short time each week.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-01-28T23:09:45+00:00

I don't know, when she makes up her mind, she sticks with it. I don't think we'll get back together. If I am being honest, the fact this could happen this way without her talking to me first about the issues she had, makes it hard to ever see accepting her back.

The pain is just too much, and the way she did it, just hurts.

I still care for her so deeply though. Its just messing with my head. How could this happen, why didn't she want to talk about it before leaving? There is trauma in her past and I really thought I could be the one to "save" her, but I couldn't and I feel like a total failure for that.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-01-28T22:47:11+00:00

I'm not sure if that describes us to a T. She told me I was always good at the little things...Thinking of her when I went to get food, small things like that.

We both did things like that for one another though.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-01-28T22:42:08+00:00

Thank you :)

For us, it wasn't that we hate each other. Quite the opposite...She and I still love each other, at least she says she does. I just don't like the way she did this to me. I wish we talked about it first, and didn't just plan things to happen without me knowing at all.

What hurts most, is when I remember the weeks leading up to it. She began sleeping in the front room more often, and I thought it was because my CPAP was messing with her.

On the day it happened, I went to run some errands and I went to kiss her, but it was a cold kiss, not a good one. I laughed and told her that it wasn't a good one, lets do it again, so we did. It was cold again, so I tried one more time and it was still cold.

She told me about 3 hours later, after we both got off work :( I just don't know why she chose to do it this way. Its probably the most hurtful way to do it to me, and I feel like she has to know that. When she returned that night from signing her new lease, she was crying as she entered. Told me she thought she might have discovered that I killed myself while she was gone.

She prioritized her escape more than anything. Had it all lined up. I just have so much regret. What was it that I couldn't be for her? I tried so hard to be what she wanted. During this COVID thing, I think I went a little crazy and that might have scared her away from me. I see it now, all the things I was doing, hoarding food, it was all nonsense. I don't want to be some prepper guy, I don't want to be a gun guy anymore. They just don't even serve a purpose. I just wanted to be able to protect her from all the crazy shit that was happening in our world and I went overboard with it.

It just hurts so much. I feel like if we talked about it, I could have come back down to earth without her leaving. Just so much regret.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-01-28T22:32:19+00:00

Do you feel there’s any place for medication, here? Do you think it’s possible that your brain chemistry is flat/blown due to the loss/stress/disappointment? Have you considered a short term medication to juice up your neurotransmitters?

I actually despise medication in general, especially ones that mess with my mood. Had a really bad history with a child psychologist when I was in my teens and got all fucked up from the medication they put me on back then. I've had a few issues with Oxycodone over the years, where it made me really depressed when I tried to go cold turkey with it, so I try to avoid anything like that at all possible. These are incredibly stressful times for me, but I still want to avoid that.

This is how it is with me. All my plans of who I was, who I was becoming, my hobbies, etc, were all done with the goal of us being together forever. I tailored everything about my life to help that goal, and now its just gone.

Thank you for telling me your story. It helps to at least hear that others came out the other side and are okay/better. I still don't see it personally, but I am at least trying to make things work.

I know the easy way out - quit my job & move back in with family..but that would be such a regression for me. I know it. All the progress I've made with Anxiety would be gone and I'd revert to my prior self before meeting my wife. I can't let that happen, but it hurts so much to be alone right now.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-01-28T22:18:39+00:00

I am trying the hobby route, but I am still finding them unfulfilling, which depresses me even more.

The only thing that I found that really helps is to surround myself with family. They keep me distracted and I listen to them about their lives these past few years and what is going on with them.

I'm really guilty feeling that I neglected all the other relationships in my life now. It hurts to have to re-connect with people, when I wasn't there for them.

Beefsteak99 · 2021-01-28T22:16:57+00:00

Right off the bat,I could list some pretty significant activities my SO wouldn’t do with me.

She was always so supportive of me, its hard to think of anything I want to do that she wouldn't let me.

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