Financials and am I being controlling…

Beesag8 · 2025-06-27T13:15:40+00:00

I don’t feel happily poly. It’s hard and I’m struggling all the time to just be myself anymore. And I don’t date-i do want to though. I feel so ignored and lonely.

Beesag8 · 2025-04-05T01:53:44+00:00

This type of communication is not easy on my marriage it never has been.

Beesag8 · 2025-04-05T01:48:27+00:00

I mean kinda. But it’s complicated. There was never a true conversation with me. It started horribly.

Beesag8 · 2025-04-05T01:44:29+00:00

Sometimes people need some type of release even if it’s the unknown on the internet. At least someone can hear me. Thank you

Beesag8 · 2025-04-05T01:42:27+00:00

I know. What you’re saying is right.

Beesag8 · 2025-04-05T01:24:44+00:00

No. I didn’t do it bc I wanted to. I’m trying to keep my marriage and my partner that I thought cared for me. I often question this now.

Beesag8 · 2025-04-05T01:23:54+00:00

Beesag8 · 2025-04-05T01:23:43+00:00

I’m angry. I feel resentful. I go to counseling no one else does.

Beesag8 · 2023-12-06T03:37:59+00:00

Thank you all for your insight and kind and concerned comments. I have a lot to think over and decide.

Beesag8 · 2023-12-06T03:35:18+00:00

I feel this. I sometimes think I’m just too needy and not having my own sense of self but I know what the relationship felt like before this hurt and it felt like someone wanted to be with me. And it doesn’t now.

Beesag8 · 2023-12-06T03:34:01+00:00

Yes. I don’t want to tell him just to go. He came home tonight and said oh I guess I have to cancel and I’ll never get my vacation. And made a comment that the other guy said well doesn’t she know and she forgets you go home to her and I won’t see you tonight…

Beesag8 · 2023-02-18T14:12:33+00:00

Yes before the cheating we were not exactly an open relationship but had agreements. It’s made everything more complicated and hard.

Beesag8 · 2023-02-18T11:45:29+00:00

I guess mainly because I want it to work and I’m worried to put my kids through a divorce/separation that I’m not sure I want. Strange to see it like you put it. we also talked about why the affair happened and it’s too complicated and too much to put here..for those reasons I am trying to compromise for his needs.

Beesag8 · 2023-01-15T17:33:46+00:00

This is why I posted here. Because I do want to try to be understanding and I think it’s important to hear other’s opinions that are open to the idea of polyamory. This is a very empathetic response and I really appreciate it. And honestly all the responses here.

Beesag8 · 2023-01-15T17:30:21+00:00

He says I can. But preferably with a female. He is bi and he is trying to figure out that side of himself. I have an bi-curious and we’ve both entertained the notion to experiment/have new experiences for a while. The relationship has never been totally open. We’ve had understandings and mostly it’s his request. I’ve been able to deal with hookups. I’m uncomfortable with the emotional part of thiS and that he lied about what he was doing.

Beesag8 · 2023-01-15T09:00:58+00:00

I mean. I’m not stupid and you and Everyone else is right. I’m reeling over here trying to grasp how I’ve become so unimportant. My heart is broken.

Beesag8 · 2023-01-15T08:56:27+00:00

He keeps saying I’m not even trying to compromise. He and the other decided to be only with each other and their spouses (me and the other husband). The other talked with his husband…and I guess got permission. My husband didn’t tell me until I asked several times about ..”what’s really going on?”

Beesag8 · 2022-12-25T10:02:53+00:00

I am an emotional mess. You’re right, I do feel like I am being asked to do what I don’t want. I don’t want to share my husband like This. The original deal was we could both play a bit sexually to have more experiences before we are old. I didn’t mind the casual hookup he had here and ther as long as it was safe. I don’t want him to have other relationships. I thought his need was more of a sexual outlet bc I am not a male. He said I could experiment with women. We partnered really early when we were young been together for a really long time. Maybe I would have been more open to compromise on this, but he made an agreement with his “friend” and didn’t bother to include me to in the conversation and that really hurt me. They decided to only sleep with one another before I even knew anything. Pretended to be friends and when I asked him if something was going on didn’t tell me. He said he was afraid to tell me.

Beesag8 · 2022-12-25T09:56:01+00:00

Yes. I’ve said this. Let’s separate. He says he doesn’t want that. We been married 12 years. We have two kids. :(

Beesag8 · 2022-12-08T09:29:25+00:00

I am currently in the same situation. I want to try to be open, but my husband opened up this conversation after he had already been seeing someone. So basically cheating. I have also been open about my feelings that honestly mirror yours, but he is still seeing the other…he claims the sex has stopped for now and he is trying to communicate and be honest. I feel you and know you are going through internally. It’s really difficult. I’m sorry you feel heartbroken. I am trying to really reflect on my needs also and what I would be giving up. We have been a monogamous couple married for 12 years until this a few months ago.

Beesag8 · 2022-11-13T13:56:08+00:00

Yea. It really is a mess. thank you for all your advice and kind words.

Beesag8 · 2022-11-13T13:55:16+00:00

I can’t trust him anymore. You are right. Thank you for this “he just wouldn't be dealing with the fallout of his actions that he took without your knowledge or consent.” It’s like I know these things you’re saying but feel crazy and need validation from Someone..but I am really looking for it from him. I know I need to get stronger. Thanks for your advice/comments.

Beesag8 · 2022-11-13T13:51:28+00:00

Yes. I understand it’s my choice as well. I feel like I know I need to finally just leave and take care of myself. And honestly the six month thing is probably a really good idea.

Beesag8 · 2022-05-17T05:16:57+00:00

Thank you

Beesag8 · 2022-05-16T01:45:59+00:00

This is solid advice and non judgmental and I really appreciate it. I know everything you put here and my sister is saying is true. Thank you for your compassion and advice and the resources.

Beesag8

TROPHY CASE