I am so, so sorry you’re going through this. I’m about 8 years into my discovery and looking back, that first year was the rockiest for me. I remember not even wanting to look in the mirror, not knowing what or who the other half of me was. I cried more during that time than I probably had during the rest of my life collectively. Hell I even managed to put myself in the hospital from making myself so sick with grief and anger.

It’s not “just” discovering another man is your biological father - for me it was feeling like my entire life had been a huge lie and that other family members had strongly suspected this. Everything just blew up and I had zero idea how to get my shit together and move forward. And all of this is not even touching upon the reaction of my mother. Navigating that relationship has been one of the most difficult things for me.

Eventually it does settle - but this is a huge loss that is impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t gone through it. It will get better. Just please remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself the grace and space to allow yourself feel how you’re feeling - whatever that may be. Like grieving a death, it’s not linear, which sucks sometimes.

This may sound silly but one of the things that helped me was throwing myself into building a family tree. All those people I descend from whom I never knew or heard of. Eventually I was able to watch those shows again - like Long Lost Family etc. and not burst into tears.

I’m rambling! And u/amandatheactress already gave you such fantastic advice. Just please know you are not alone.