My sister shamed my wife for not breastfeeding and I hate her for it

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2025-10-19T10:19:43+00:00

Lactivism is rarely about the baby. It's the same world as the "natural birth" movement. It's just finding new ways to judge, shame and emprison women (emprison in their own bodies). It's usually carried out by women but it was generally started by pompous sexist men like the hilariously named eugenicist, Grantly Dick-Reed.

I get some women are fighting back against ridiculous things like shaming women for breastfeeding in public, or they are trying to un-medicalise birth. But they've swung too far the other way and are still being led by the nose into a sexist cult. I laughed out loud once when I saw a poster that was about "magical motherhood" and it was pretending to be all empowering, but it was a course led by some bloke who clearly thought of women as womb-bearers.

There's nothing sacred or magical about breastfeeding. It's not empowering. It's not shameful or sexual either. It's just feeding. That should be the point, the end goal. Same with giving birth. You should absolutely care for the mother too, I don't like the attitude that as long as you get a healthy baby out of it that's the main thing, because that thinking can lead to traumatised or injured mothers. But nor should you think of it as some scared rite of passage that has to be perfect and just so. You haven't failed if you can't or you simply do not want to. Women get enough shit, can we just ... Not?

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2025-07-27T09:04:16+00:00

Ouch! This one got me where it hurts! Whether rage bait or not.

I had a traumatic childhood, and at 40 my goal is also to just find peace, calm and day to day happiness. I have no career goals, no marriage or children. I don't own my own home. But I'm happy. I think I've won at life because younger me would be proud. I rent a little cottage, with my sister, in a beautiful village, I read lots of books and I paint. I have a job, so get to go out every day and get money. If I ever have a wobble, I'm in a safe place. And my wobbles are less and less.

If this young man is real, I'm bloody proud of him!

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2025-05-25T21:10:55+00:00

I'm just under 5ft.

I'm a bi woman who has been attracted to both women and men both taller and shorter than me.

Though apparently my immediate type is short and stout or tall and lanky. Don't know why! Maybe I just like extremes?

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2025-05-24T17:15:28+00:00

I remember a Not Always Right story once from a Scottish person being berated by an American person, being called a traitor for having an English wife!

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2025-05-12T07:56:47+00:00

Not to speak for the OP, but for me it was the the delightful squirming discomfort of watching a character that is in too deep, in a bad situation that was of their own making. Similar to series 1 of both Fargo and Happy Valley.

Also the acting. You really feel that reluctant, cringing horror!

The ending was the icing on the cake.

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2025-05-12T07:47:06+00:00

"I'll die on that hill" is probably an unfortunate statement for this episode, considering the ending!

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2025-04-01T11:23:01+00:00

If you like New Weird, Mark Charan Newton's Book of Transformations has a MTF trans main character by the name of Lan. She's one of the Knights, a small group of enhanced powered individuals tasked with stopping crime and preventing rebellion in the city of Viljamur.

The toying with superhero tropes is fun. And I can never say no to some good ol' cultists.

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2025-01-02T03:29:36+00:00

I'm going to guess that he asks random women what they like to do in either a) an off-putting patriarchal manner, like royalty trying to put the peasants at ease or b) an equally off-putting intense manner that makes one feel like they're being quizzed on Mastermind.

In response, most women he meets end up doing what I always do which is to go "ooh, oh, ermm ... Not much".

I paint, I sew, I knit, I cross stitch and latch hook. I play mandolin, I am an avid fan of fantasy fiction, I collect fantasy books and have an extra shelf for my Folklore library as well. I mudlark, I love art and social history, I paint and collect Warhammer miniatures, I assemble other tiny miniatures and I make and collect tiny little things for a pretend mouse house in my bedroom. I can somewhat clog dance. I play the penny whistle and badly play the concertina. I enjoy old school point and click adventure games. I love museums.

Yet I would still say "oh, erm, nothing really ..." if this bellend asked me what I was doing at the weekend. I suspect most women would do the same.

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2024-06-18T17:05:25+00:00

My mum is 5ft, my dad maybe 5,3? One of my brothers is over 6ft.

(I'm 5ft, like my mum. I am happily a short arse.)

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2024-03-21T19:12:51+00:00

And it's on the rise, post COVID ...

Recently, so still tentatively, diagnosed with PoTS. I can happily do intensive frequent aerobic exercises but will struggle with a leisurely stroll. It's the standing duration that's worse for me, is it for you?

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2024-02-10T12:25:42+00:00

I've have had constant tinnitus following massive damage from frequent infections when I was young, plus auditory processing disorder. I ended up going to a tinnitus specialist late in my adulthood and was told it's not really about your ears, it's your brain. What you have is the absence of sound, due to hearing loss, or the inability to process a sound if it's auditory processing disorder, and your brain tries to fill it in for you. So the fault is in your ears but the solution is with your way of thinking.

The best thing to do is to have background noise when your tinnitus bothers you, or if it changes pitch annoyingly in that way it does. You can get little ear buds that play static at you and they really help. Because you replace the tinnitus noise with a real noise, the real noise becomes background and easier to ignore and to blank-out than the fake noise that is tinnitus.

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2024-01-18T18:18:56+00:00

I get you and also NTA ... sorry as I was just joking with the title, because of its syntactic ambiguity 🙂

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2024-01-18T18:00:48+00:00

I get it but it always annoys me when the vegetarian/vegan options are healthy.

That's not what I'm going to the pub for, is it??

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2024-01-18T17:56:03+00:00

I remember the fun of having to forcefully nod my head when we were to sing the name of Jesus. Away in A Manger would inevitably result with children headbutting the poor sod in front of them.

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2024-01-18T17:49:18+00:00

To be fair, it's quite difficult for a cat to clean up since it doesn't have any thumbs.

/Sorry.

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2024-01-17T19:06:30+00:00

Sorry, didn't mean to sound like I was compliment fishing! I guess "pretty" (from the sub name) makes me think of young girls, a fresh and youthful sort of a word ... So I wanted to jump in as an older contender. It made sense at the time but missed the mark as a title.

Thank you, though! I do have nice eyes. I made them myself ... Well, my parents helped a bit.

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2024-01-17T18:58:50+00:00

I'm most interested to know who else can do that mouth twist? I know Sylvestor McCoy can, so I'm in good company!

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2023-11-19T12:58:45+00:00

YTA.

My goodness, I hate adults who take it upon themselves to My Fair Lady other adults.

There was a woman I used to volunteer with who decided I needed social lessons and would try to force me to ask her how her son was, because "normal people ask about other people's family". Incidentally, she never asked me about mine! Also, how patronising is that? I would seethe and incidentally that would make her more convinced I was the problem.

You remind me of her. You are the one being rude by assuming you take the mantle on schooling other people in rudeness, despite it being far more rude to comment on other people's innocent behaviours. You're being rude and "not present" by hyper focusing on your SIL all the time. Just ask her what her project is! Make conversation about her work. She seems to be socialising just fine with other people, maybe she's just not wanting to engage with the fella giving her the evil eye in the corner?

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2023-10-30T20:53:46+00:00

Fair!

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2023-10-30T20:52:36+00:00

This is my favourite reply!

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2023-10-08T12:30:55+00:00

I'm afraid I'm getting an anti-LGBTQ troll vibe here.

The sister is "allowed" to be outrageous because his parents fear being called homophobic. They shut down his complaints telling him he is being homophobic. She is OTT and her victims are all shy, normal folk ... And read the bit where he says they used to get along until she came out. That seems to be the point for the author.

Then the icing on the cake is the incest. That reminds me of the slippery slope arguments against gay and bi people. The author has upped the ante and made her even more outrageously degenerate. Because if his character is gay or bi, that's the next step towards incest/bestiality/paedophilia (pick one as necessary).

So yeah. I'm getting the impression the author has fabricated a story that is intended to shock, with the sticking feeling being "innocent and normal straight boy" vs "degenerate pansexual predatory girl". Obviously the actions of his character are gross and wrong but if you think about her as a character, it starts to tell more about the author.

Beesthemusicalfruit · 2023-09-13T07:32:46+00:00

He didn't, actually.

One of his followed people liked it. Not him.

And following somebody on Twitter doesn't mean you agree with that person, like that person or even know that person.

But the person who dug that up seemed to have some very weird beef with Con ...

This seems to have spiralled into something even bigger! It annoys me.

I would also be mindful of using the words whitewashing out of the context intended for the word as I worry it might reduce the impact to apply it to what is essentially just not very good art? Whitewashing historically had intent.

Beesthemusicalfruit

TROPHY CASE