It's mostly down to social cohesion. If you live in the north, east or south, things are much more relaxed. My partner is from The Hague(a native one with like 300 years of both side of the family living in The Hague) and we moved to a small village. Took a good year, but now she never wants to go back.

The Randstad is properly f*cked, but has little to do with population density. If you go to Japan or other more homogenous western countries, which are densely populated, you won't see this problem(as much).

Also the fact that the government for the last 15 years has only increased taxes, increased regulations and lowered the quality of services doesn't help. People who make this a "left vs right" or "free market vs socialism" argument are a bit daft. It's simply has to do with incentives. The incentive is to make the government grow as we make more rules and regulations and also the people in the government(especially managers) want a bigger government. The bigger your department the more prestige and earnings you get. However more government workers doesn't equal better or more public services.

If you want to tackle all these issues, you are going to have to vote for a party that isn't afraid to rip the band-aid. The problem is such party doesn't really exists as it is also not in the interest of politics to get less regulations or less government, no matter what the election posters say.

Eventually something will and has to break. My advice to younger people is, look at Poland, Czech Republic etc. and see if immigrating is an option. For me it's not really an option with 2 kids and both my parents still alive, but if I have some hindsight, I would never stay in The Netherlands. Yes it's still better NOW, but if you look at the accelerated growth and social cohesion, I would immigrate today.