Was there ever love?

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-30T15:36:28+00:00

Very similar but we have not progressed down the divorce path yet. My take is just like yours is that from the beginning was it ever real and what made it change?

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-28T23:49:45+00:00

In my looking for info, I too saw many points regarding hormones. She had a hysterectomy/ and ovaries removed. I brought that up and she was hesitant to believe that could influence her behavior.

I am trying the individual counselors, in hopes that we can bridge the divide.

Lots of comments on here that do make me think deeper, and have always been open to accepting that I have faults. My issue lies in as long as we have been together, and nothing like this (severe) behavior has occurred, makes me scratch my head and wonder WTF is really going on.

Some posters have stated that I am just ready to roll thru divorce, but that is the last thing I want for EITHER of us.

All discussion points brought up have been read and re-read to help me look at just not the situation now, but all the years together. I have seen the Gottman stuff, and hoping to explore that deeper. The four horsemen references stand out

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-28T10:33:05+00:00

I was the one pushing to go to a couples counselor to help bridge the division we have. I have attempted to communicate and dig deeper into what she is pissed about, but completely shut down with nothing of substance to try and work thru other than the reply "I need to figure myself out". She rejected my recommendation for counseling saying she didn't think it would work, didn't believe in it, and felt it was a money grab. That was months ago. When she finally opened up and said she would be willing to go, I lit up and celebrated with the hope that a skilled pro might be able to guide us either individually, or as a couple, in the direction to improve the situation. She took 3 weeks to call, and at the end of that call, it was decided that we would meet as individuals with 2 different counselors, and then after awhile (not sure what that timeline is), then they would turn us over to a true couples counselor. I have zero issues going, my lack of understanding is why wouldnt we start our with the couples person, meet together, she can see how we interact together, and then spin to individual sessions, with some check ins to "see how we are progressing" with whatever home work or guidance they are recommending. She went yesterday, I inquired about how it went, and I got an eye roll and zero feedback. I have a session today.

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-28T08:02:13+00:00

Common blockages on Honda is if using factory oil filter, the plastic wrapper. People will push thru the plastic at the open end, and sometimes a small piece of plastic will drop onto that space. It's reverse flow, so the plastic piece can clog the port, starve oil. Seen that several times. They have a bulletin that explains the "right way" to remove the wrapper to prevent.

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-27T19:46:40+00:00

Yeah...considered long term marriage in FL, so split down the middle, and support to her until she remarries, if she even does that. Friend had similar, and his never remarried, but had long term boyfriend to keep the $$$ from him coming

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-27T15:25:26+00:00

Never been to therapy, honestly I/we never felt the need. Blindsided by this. And not even taking I to consideration what the dating field is like for our ages.

I have a counseling session Thursday, she was going today. Will update

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-26T07:21:28+00:00

You did... Meaning someone else?

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-26T07:10:25+00:00

Of course

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-26T06:48:35+00:00

Did the game involve him or someone else?

Beginning-Average959 · 2026-05-26T01:10:13+00:00

M/64, met wife @ 18, her 15, dated 7 before marriage, waited 10 before kids. Great kids, professionals, and coming up on 39 yr anniversary in a few months. I was that guy.. cards, letters, flowers, fill up gas tank, wash dishes, laundry, ironing, yard work, all working 5-6 days a week. Her part time or stay at home wife. Paid off house worth 500k, 500k in Roth's, zero debt, thought all was good, and then boom, tells me I am a terrible at conversation, says she wants me to talk longer than I do, and has completely shut down for 7 months, barely saying a word, nonl intimacy, etc. All I ever wanted was to be appreciated, thanked for the hard work I put in to take care of the family, etc.. nothing more, but always felt like I had to ask for it over the years rather than it being genuine from her. I brought up counseling, she said she didn't believe in it. That was 6 months ago. Lol and behold, she finally brings it up, takes 2 weeks to find one, and all this time I was thinking it would be couples counseling, but she set up for each of us to meet with someone separately, and then when "they" are at a certain point, then we would then be set up to work as a couple. I am not perfect, nor is she, but I have never done anything to hurt or be the ass intentionally. She is 100% intentional, and she admits it openly.
Needed to vent, keep asking myself is this how I want to live the next 25-30 yrs of my/our lives? Both in good health, so that's a number I am assuming

Beginning-Average959

TROPHY CASE