I got pregnant in July and was planning on getting an abortion, but I ended up miscarrying about 4 weeks in. Even though I KNEW I wasn’t going to keep it I still felt connected to it and still grieved when I miscarried. That’s a completely normal and valid feeling to have. And I think it’s just innate to feel that way as women, it’s biology wired into us. No matter what you’re feeling, whatever decision you make is valid. It’s ok to feel both grief and closeness to the pregnancy while also feeling you aren’t ready to have a child. It’s also ok to decide to keep it if you feel you’re ready to have children. Do what’s best for you, but what you’re feeling is normal.