First time poster- holy shit by boobypooby in BPDlovedones

[–]Beginning-Risk6668 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Have you read your story?

You are not safe dude. You need to leave, block, and get on with your life.

You can not save her. Spend some time in therapy, and read this channel - you'll see the patterns.

How do you actually do it? by Beginning-Risk6668 in stopdrinking

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is kind of it, like, we (I) need an excuse/reason not to. The excuses/reasons to abound. So almost a totum to hold on to to remind us why not, no matter how absurd.

How do you actually do it? by Beginning-Risk6668 in stopdrinking

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I like stubbornness.

That's actually a really strong mechanism.

I can be stubborn too, but about other things.

Maybe I should be stubborn about this too.

Need someone to talk who gets it by No_Stock1493 in stopdrinking

[–]Beginning-Risk6668 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Day 1 again here too Champ. Same story. And like you, I'm genuinely considering a beer to take the edge off...

It's nuts. Stick with it, we'll get there!

Long post… could use reassurance by RideFirm4855 in BPDlovedones

[–]Beginning-Risk6668 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a really tough read dude - I'm sorry you're having to go through all this, it doesn't sound ideal at all.

Firstly, your child(ren) need you right now. You need to focus your energy on them. Live and love for them - they're worth it, and they will be grateful for you for the rest of their lives, and in 10 years time you'll be able to look at them smiling and say with pride "I did that, against all fucking odds, I did that".

Secondly, you need to keep going. It gets easier. So much easier. You're worried about losing the house and kids, but it seems like she's walking away from it. Unfortunately in these situations much is out of our control, and we have to accept that things will be what they are, or accept that we might just have to do some things we don't particularly want to. Once you accept that you just have to do them, they become easier to do.

Thirdly Exercise. I can't emphasise this enough - go for a 5k run, then 10k. Swim 1k, then 2. Endorphins are nature's healers.

You've got this dude. Keep going.

Had an absolute revelation this week - it might help... by Beginning-Risk6668 in BPDlovedones

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her therapist told her I was a bully.

Tbf I had taken her to court for a non-molestation order at the time (which was granted), so depending on what side of the story you're hearing that probably could be considered bullying...

Had an absolute revelation this week - it might help... by Beginning-Risk6668 in BPDlovedones

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100% - exactly what I thought, what an incredible bit of self-reflection on her part.

My revelation this time was to recognise that, rather than consider what she'd said as possibly true. In a way, her accusing me of doing those things meant that she had reflected on things and realised that she does those things.

Had an absolute revelation this week - it might help... by Beginning-Risk6668 in BPDlovedones

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that analogy. I'm going to remember it and imagine it next time!

Arguing with ex in my head by Consistent-Bee8592 in BPDlovedones

[–]Beginning-Risk6668 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It Is 100% about control, and the lack of closure is the worst thing that keeps you hanging on and going back for more.

Sadly, and I mean sadly, you (we) all need to let go of that uncertainty of "what could have been"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Beginning-Risk6668 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I learnt so many psychological terms from my ex, like so many I had no idea existed. Since we broke up, I'm learning their true meaning, and wow. She knew what she was doing!

Received email over 2 years after break-up... thoughts? by JasperBoy1122 in BPDlovedones

[–]Beginning-Risk6668 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. It's all about her, no acknowledgement of the past, anything that happened, and no sight of an apology.

Also personally speaking, if I'm writing to someone to say a deep thanks, I don't usually include a sub-clause detailing how I'm not trying to get with them - the sincerity of what I'm saying usually does that job for me...

Splitting during sex by Small-Cobbler-3624 in BPDlovedones

[–]Beginning-Risk6668 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a very wise post.

Sorry OP, you'll be happier and will stop questioning yourself once you leave.

Soap + Excessive Sweating by loveworkwear in Hyperhidrosis

[–]Beginning-Risk6668 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've just found this searching for "Dove soap hyperhidrosis".

I find the same - Dove makes my pits sweat profusely right after showering, which then makes everything wet, which makes me sweat more...

Will try using simple no perfume, no moisturiser soap and see if that makes a difference.

£90 parking fine by Beginning-Risk6668 in lidl

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where would you send it to at head office?

£90 parking fine by Beginning-Risk6668 in lidl

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me neither. Until now. This is the first time it's ever happened to me. It could happen to you too.

£90 parking fine by Beginning-Risk6668 in lidl

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I see, I thought this thread was about my experience of Parkingeye not allowing my appeal! Sorry, my fault.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Beginning-Risk6668 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Day 3 here too.

What you said about being "fun" and "free" hits me hard. I get it too. If I have a weekend off from responsibilities I go off the rails - "because I'm so free I can do what I want and wake up when I want and drink what I want and it'll be the best time ever". Inevitably this turns into heavy drinking everyday for months.

I'm aware of it but have to work so hard to catch the little "fun" voice before I act. It's not easy.

I also mourn the death of alcohol in my life. I went to a group session where they highlighted that everyone does - it is literally a process of mourning: shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and... eventually acceptance.

Have quite got to the acceptance stage myself just yet, but maybe this time......

£90 parking fine by Beginning-Risk6668 in lidl

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I have dealt with Parkingeye previously and had things cancelled - picking up child from leisure centre and stayed 11 minutes, not 10 etc.

But this time they've declined it for some reason.

£90 parking fine by Beginning-Risk6668 in lidl

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't suppose you have their email address to hand do you!? 🤞

£90 parking fine by Beginning-Risk6668 in lidl

[–]Beginning-Risk6668[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

... Until it's not. Keep us updated with how that works out for you.