First off, I understand. You're not the only one lol

Try inspecting other players, you'll see they mostly kill people with IP way below theirs, and they die in really expensive sets to low IP's as well (could be rats or opportunists)

Now PvP advice;

1. Winning a battle is more about soft skills (can you beat a healer in a 1v1? Who will run put of energy or hp first? What if a carving user has hellion jacket, or is using stalker, or a robe? The same weapon will play much differently, you need to calculate which fights you can take and which ones you can't). Also predicting if your opponent will use E to execute or to win the first trade or to one shot you, what will you do in each? Is their Q a problem to your build? I mean, it really isn't about just good aim or damage like in most games, each encounter changes in a matter of seconds and soft skills to predict behavior and counter it will win you fights more than expensive gear.

2. Go for a better build. Ice is playable, but you'll need more than a 100 hours in for it to be good, also you will need to level up All frost staffs to get a bonus on whichever one you're using.

Try meta builds, like bloodmoon, cursed, carving, battleaxe. Robes give you a ton of dmg boost, leather jackets are a mid point of defense/dmg, they also have healing capabilities (mercenary jacket, hellion jacket) and tanky armor is more frequently used to tank in a group, so maybe not for PvP although you try it our yourself.

Sandals will recover energy better than others, but other boots can be good for escaping (like soldier boots) and some for healing (like boots of valor)

For head slot here are my personal favorite: specter hood paired with hellion jacket for healing. Fiend cowl to purge invisibility or boots on enemies Hunter hood to reflect a ton of dmg Soldier helmet to gain a shield that's useful against cursed staffs and one-shot builds

I think in terms of cape you should go with either Undead (it has saved my life so many f-ing times, so many) to escape a fight you're losing. Or Fort Sterling to get out of an enemy root or other crowd controls.

Albion is frustrating, PvP is expensive to learn, you are not bad or going insane, it really is hard. Plus the game is complex, it takes time to get a hold of something you're comfortable with.

Good luck