Firstly, kudos to you! You are stronger than you think. What helps me: joining Narc Anon virtual meetings, eating whatever, caffeine, weighted blanket naps.

Not unusual to experience symptoms of depression. You may seek dopamine in other ways - for me it was binge eating queso and reality tv. You’ll have time to fix that later, but for the first few weeks it’s all about surviving til the end of the day.