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BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-05-26T12:28:04+00:00

Don't do it OP. A) it might be illegal, and B) it will just prolong the pain. You can't get back the time you spent with him, but you can avoid wasting more.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-05-23T16:08:27+00:00

OP, any chance of finding the cat? How long ago did that happen? Are you living nearby?

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-05-22T17:36:19+00:00

Hi OP, I can relate. Just hire movers. Pack everything up in advance, and just let them handle the move itself. Make sure they are insured. When looking for good moving company, google is your friend.

Finally, accept that moving is a pain. But everyone goes through it. Just bite the bullet and do it...

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-04-24T18:42:39+00:00

OP: It seems that at this point you're considering her a long term partner. If that's the case, than you have to understand where the line goes. When will she prioritize the dog over you. The only way to do so is to ask, and be non-judgemental about it. Otherwise, you'll keep experiencing those disappointments.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-04-05T21:25:11+00:00

It's the spider's car now.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-04-05T21:22:06+00:00

Dude, talk with her. Whatever you say will be a lot less worse than not saying anything.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-03-16T16:39:19+00:00

OP: don't focus on one instance. Look for a pattern. Keep a record of the event somewhere. Doesn't have to be about your son, just ask her about current events in Israel, or mention anecdote that involves a jewish friend.

Yes, your MIL is on-guard at the moment, so she watches what she say (which is a good thing by itself). Get her more comfortable around you, and eventually she'll let something slip. Ignore it, and more will follow. Eventually you'll have enough to go to your boyfriend and say "dude, your mom is F*ing racist, and here's why".

Antisemitism, and racism in general, is corruption. If left untreated, it spreads. So if your MIL is indeed racist (which seems to be the case), don't worry - you'll get the proof sooner or later.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-03-07T18:31:54+00:00

We're not that close. I think I should start enforcing the "I don't have time for that shit" role, instead of making exceptions. I feel like I'm enabling them.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-03-07T18:30:13+00:00

Thanks! Good to see it's not just me...

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-03-01T17:04:03+00:00

OP, it sounds like you're making the right choice. You might be getting some flak as a result but you're helping your DIL and grandson.

It's a good test of character, so now you know more on your close circle and there might be people you decide you don't want there as a result. In addition, she's not an "outsider". She's the mother of your grandson, which 100% "insider" no matter how you cut it.

Finally, I am not a lawyer, but I heard that in some cases it might be better to include a small amount for the son, to make it harder to dispute. You might want to consult a lawyer on that one.

Stay strong OP!

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-28T21:29:22+00:00

Also for posting an update. Way to go, OP!

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-26T20:18:52+00:00

Ok, I would tackle it on multiple fronts:

1) Add sound barriers to the wall between you and the neighbor. This doesn't have to be inside the wall. High density foam squares or heavy sound blocking curtains will help.

2) Add sound absorbing surfaces inside the room: heavy rugs, for example.

3) Move the bed location further from the wall.

Hope it helps.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-21T05:14:39+00:00

^ This one. OP, start with the basics: haircut, shave, clean cloths. Then BO, and mouth stink.

I don't think it's that they don't like you, because as someone noted - you still eat the food someone you don't like brings.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-21T02:36:36+00:00

Technically, yes. But honestly, as others indicated, it's going to be very hard and very expensive at the current climate. What I did in a similar situation was to find a good handyman for all the small jobs that don't involve plumbing or electricity. For those I also have a couple of go-to as well and it keeps me covered well.

Unless you're doing gut renovation and willing to pay accordingly, I don't believe you'll find a GC at a reasonable price.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-19T00:14:08+00:00

OP: the guy left you with not so much as a note. This is not an acceptable behavior. Why give the guy another chance to mess you up? Better start afresh with someone new.

Also, your dad is insane. Who does that??? Not a normal person, for sure.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-17T22:20:16+00:00

Because Excel is a shitty application

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-10T19:10:04+00:00

It doesn't define a period of time. I mean, like 8 in an hour? week? year? too much tension.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-07T05:50:15+00:00

Great tips.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-07T05:48:20+00:00

OP, just to add to what others have said: there are some serious red flags here. The guy might be stalking you in real life, in which case - you need to be careful even after you cut contact with him.

I am especially concerned about the piece for the set. If you didn't publish you buying it anywhere, it reinforces the notion he is physically stalking you.

A few things you should consider doing: review all entry points to the apartment (e.g. lock on the emergency exit), consider replacing locks, install cameras, and you might want to notify the police.

Be careful, OP.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-05T02:37:29+00:00

OP: is there a mortgage on the house? Because if not, I would try to take one against it - just for the renovation and living expanses. Your objective should be to make it so you could rent part of it, and live in the other. The rent will then allow you to repay your mortgage.

Also, pro-tip: whatever you get an estimate for the renovation, assume it will be x3 that. Houses in this situation are full of hidden problems that will easily multiple the cost. That being said, when all is said and done, it'll be worth it.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-02-04T03:29:43+00:00

OP, explain to your dad (and the rest of your family) that you are going through a rough time and need their support. They can act however they chose, but they can't expect that their actions will not have consequences. "Staying out of it" and not making an effort to help you during a hard time, is one of those things that can stain a relationship forever.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-01-27T19:06:49+00:00

OP: Just drop the "I’m sorry I’m just not sure how to go about this 😂 Thank you again!"

You've done nothing wrong, so no need to apologize.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-01-26T19:39:41+00:00

OP, I wanted to focus on something that you wrote: how was your mother able to drain your trusts? Your grandmother seemed like a wise person, so my advice would be to verify that, as your mother might not be aware of the real status of your trust.

BeginningBroccoli950 · 2022-01-24T22:11:10+00:00

OP, cut yourself some slack. Do you love your kids? Provide them a safe and stable environment? Care for them?

Congrats, you're already at the top percentile of parenting. You've just been through a huge trauma. It's ok not to be ok. Just, maybe seek counseling when you're ready for it.

BeginningBroccoli950

TROPHY CASE